Kitchens Are Monkey Business

The Deen Machine Continues To Roll.

2012-01-28T18:34:00.001-05:00

Thanks to my friend, The Ever Alert Marion,
I have found out there is at least one person,
formerly part of the Deen Machine,
who actually has scruples.

See here.

E.A. Marion
also sent me the first news
of Pauler's sitchayshun.

Mr. Hawthorne Cans Salsa Ranchera.

2012-01-28T08:56:00.000-05:00

Mr. Hawthorne has been a busy boy.
Since he was getting "low" on his homemade Salsa Ranchera
(I think only a dozen jars are left.),
Mr. Hawthorne has been a bit anxious.
In a burst of energy,
he finally canned another batch the other day.

Salsa Ranchera is not a hot salsa.
It's a more robust, complex salsa.
We use it in omelets.
We add it to rices.
Gives a dish some punch.

I generally despise Food Network competition shows,
but I did watch The Big Waste.
As a consumer who tries her best not to waste anything,
I felt I should watch it.
It was shocking how much is thrown away.
This is why Mr. Hawthorne and I always check dates
on meats and wait for it to be marked down
as it nears its sell-by date.
Because it will be thrown out that day.
I've seen it happen too many times
and I think it's shameful.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that food.

Very little goes to waste in the Hawthorne household,
I'm happy to say.
And I recycle too.
In fact, some days when I go to the grocery store,
I purposefully do not take my canvas bags.
That's because I need the brown paper bags
for recycling my glass, my plastics,
my tin cans, my aluminum cans, my papers and boxes.
So the hallway from the kitchen to the back bedroom and bath
is nothing but an obtrusive recycling center.
I try to do my part in spite of
obstacles along my way.
And they know who they are.

That said, and trying to be mindful of waste,
we went to the rack of rapidly rotting food at Harris Teeter.
Nothing wrong with this food.
It's just not as pretty or as young
as the produce on display.
So it gets banished to The Rack.
And it gets marked down drastically.

So we picked our peppers from The Rack.
We don't care if a vegetable's skin is wrinkled
since this is going to be simmered for a good while.

4 poblanos
handful of serranos
a jalapeno

You can use whatever combination
of assorted peppers.
That's what makes the flavors interesting.

We had 2 Roma tomatoes
and 3 others we found on The Rack.
You want to peel them first,
so put them in boiling water for about 20 seconds.
Let cool, then easily remove skin.

Return to pan.

Those big cans of tomatoes
I got on sale:
Buy 1 can. Get 2 free.

Chop one onion.

This ain't rocket science,
so there are no hard and fast rules here.
Eyeball it for amounts.

Chop the peppers.

Mix all together
in a large pot over low heat.

Bring to a bare simmer, stirring occasionally.

This was kept at a bare simmer for about 2 hours.
You may can it now,
or let the sauce cool and refrigerate it
and do the canning the next day.
Which is what Mr. Hawthorne did.
He was exhausted after all
that bare simmering.

One of the loveliest sounds to my ears
is the sucking pop of a jar sealing properly.

Mr. Hawthorne Bakes A Birthday Cake For Rosie.

2012-01-27T09:08:00.000-05:00

Every year, Mr. Hawthorne makes a cake for me

for my birthday.
I always let him pick out whatever cake he wants,
although I have "hinted" at a few cakes I've seen,
most notably, Ruth Levy Berenbaum's Notre Dame cake.

I mean, who doesn't love a cake with
stained glass windows and flying buttresses?

Apparently, this project was a tad too ambitious
for Mr. Hawthorne.

He suggested a red velvet cake.

Now here's where Rosie gets picky.
Rosie doesn't want a red velvet cake.
The red comes from several ounces of red food coloring.
Rosie doesn't like food coloring.
Rosie hates the taste of food coloring.
Even when she was a little girl,
she wouldn't eat the cupcakes served at school parties
because of the icing.

Food coloring is a deal breaker for me.

So I suggested some natural food coloring - cherries.

Mr. Hawthorne pitted the cherries, then ...

... ran them through the Magic Bullet.

Here's Mr. Hawthorne's mise en place,
which I put together for him,
since he's not all that into the mise.

He came into the kitchen and saw everything laid out for him
and asked me,
"You measured everything, too?!"
Well, duh.
Else we'd still be sitting here
waiting for cake.

Ingredients for Non Red Velvet Cake
2 1/2 cups sifted cake flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 TB cocoa powder
2 oz. red food coloring NOT
I used 2 ounces of cherry puree.
1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup buttermilk, room temperature
1 tsp white vinegar
1 tsp baking soda

Heat oven to 350 degrees.
Butter and cocoa two 9-inch cake pans.
Most recipes tell you to butter and flour the cake pans.
Since this cake has cocoa in it,
I'm using cocoa instead of the flour.
Sift together the sifted cake flour, baking powder, and salt
into a medium bowl.
In a small bowl, mix cherry puree and cocoa powder.
In a large bowl, beat butter and sugar together
until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes,
scraping the sides of the bowl with a spatula.
Beat in eggs, one at a time,
then beat in vanilla and cherry/cocoa paste.
Add 1/3 of the flour, beating well,
then beat in half the buttermilk.
Beat in another third of flour mixture,
then second half of buttermilk.
End with last third of flour mixture,
beating until well combined.
Make sure the cake pans have been buttered and cocoa'd
and are nearby.
In a small bowl, mix vinegar and baking soda.
Add to cake batter and stir well to combine.
Working quickly, divide the batter evenly
between the cake pans and place in a 350 degree oven.
Bake about 20 - 25 minutes.
Check with a toothpick.
Should come out clean.
Cool cakes in pans for 10 minutes,
then remove and allow to cool completely on racks.

Cream Cheese Frosting
2 8-oz. packages cream cheese, softened
1 stick unsalted butter, softened
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
2 TB pure maple syrup
1 cup chopped pecans

Mix butter and cream cheese until smooth.
Turn mixer to low and blend in powdered sugar,
extract, syrup, and nuts.
Frost cake, being sure to use a generous amount
of frosting over the first layer.

Butter and cocoa your cake pans.

Swirl around and remove any excess.

Sift cake flour, baking powder, and salt
in a small bowl and set aside.

Mix the cherry puree with the cocoa until smooth
and set aside.

Beat butter until smooth,
then gradually beat in sugar.

Beat until light and fluffy.

Add in eggs, one at a time.

Beat until smooth.

Add in vanilla.

Add in cocoa and cherry puree mixture.

I had to restrain Mr. Hawthorne
from pouring in red food coloring.

Add flour mixture in thirds.

Add buttermilk in halves.
Beat until batter is smooth.

Mix vinegar and baking soda.

Add vinegar mixture to batter.

Pour batter evenly into prepared pans.

These were ready in 20 minutes.

No.
The cakes aren't burned.
That's the cocoa on the bottom
which makes it look burned.

Mix together the butter, cream cheese, and vanilla.
Beat until smooth.

Beat in powdered sugar on low speed.

I added 2 TB of pure maple syrup.

Cup of crushed pecans.

Level off the cakes.

Always be generous with the icing filling.

Ta daa!!!!
Rosie has Non-Red Velvet Cake.

And it is delicious.
Thank you, Mr. Hawthorne.

Happy Birthday To Rosie!

2012-01-26T20:22:00.013-05:00

Hello, all my friends.
Just popping in to tell you I had a wonderful birth day.
Thank you, Mr. Hawthorne!

Mr. Hawthorne always asks me for a list of possible gift ideas.
I wanted more Joe Boxer leisure attire.And I got it!
Spoons and forks.
Hee!

But the spoonin' and forkin' won't 'nuf.

He got me Joe Boxer Jeans!

Back side.

Front side.
The Boxer Jeans have a hole in the knee.
This is freakin' awesome!

OMG!
WTF!
I got a DROID!
I think.
What's a droid, again?

But it is a Smart Phone, right?
Because it's making me feel dumb as shit.

Compare it to what I've had for the past 15 years.

I do NOT know how to use this phone.

But I did figger out how to put a weather widgit
on my home page.
HAH!

Just can't duplicate it.

Let's move on from my technically challenged self.

Mr. Hawthorne and I went to the Teeter today
to pick up my Birthday Lobsters.

We got home about two-ish
and Mr. Hawthorne steamed the lobsters.

That thar's some clarified butter.

Dip the sweet ethereal lobster meat into the butter
and consume.

Lobster is divine.

Oh yeah.
I made killer fried green beans.

One must have champagne with lobster.
It's a given.

Plus it's my birthday.

After a glorious day of much celebration,
Mr. Hawthorne presented me with one more gift.
Butterflies.

Last week when Mr. Hawthorne took Glowria and me
up to Virginia Beach to meet Ticky at the
Flower and Garden Expo,
I saw all these butterfly frames at one of the vendors.
I loved them.

Mr. Hawthorne wasn't even with me physically
at the Expo.
He and Ticky were alone, separately, on their own.

Marilyn and I stayed together.

He got the butterflies for me.
All on his own.
Imagine that.

Happens a lot.

I loved the butterflies.

Don't worry.
These butterflies weren't killed.
There was a butterfly garden.
And people waited, apparently,
for the butterflies to ...
die ...
a natural death.

Oh Golly Gee!

Happy Birthday, indeedy!

Mr. Hawthorne made the cake.
Recipe to follow.

Important point:
Mr. H. says not to skimp on the middle frosting layer.
Keeps it moist all the way through.

I thank you all for your good thoughts and energy today.
It's been a great day.

It's Rosie's Birthday!

2012-01-26T11:42:00.002-05:00

Stay tuned for Rosie's birthday cake,
courtesy of Mr. Hawthorne.

All well-wishers may leave their birthday comments here.
I always love to hear from my readers.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Rosie Makes Birthday Babas.

2012-01-26T09:15:00.000-05:00

Monday was Little Glow's birthday,
so Rosie made Babas au Rhum.

Ingredients for Babas:
6 TB warm water
1 1/2 tsp active dry yeast
1 tsp sugar
1 large egg, room temperature
3/4 cup flour
2 TB unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into 4 pieces

Pour water in a medium bowl and sprinkle yeast and sugar over top. When yeast proofs, add in egg and stir to mix. Put flour in a mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and add the yeast mixture. Mix on low for a minute or two, just until ingredients are blended, then increase speed to medium and beat for about 8 minutes, until the mixture is smooth. Add butter and beat on low until butter is absorbed - about 2 minutes.

Cover bowl with plastic wrap, place in a warm place, and let rise for about an hour. It's not going to double in size, but there will be a noticeable increase in volume and a bubbly lightness.

The Fruit
1/4 cup raisins
1/3 cup dark rum
While the dough is rising, put the raisins in a small bowl and cover with rum.

When the dough has risen, drain the raisins, reserving the rum, and stir raisins into the dough. Fill buttered baba molds halfway. Let dough rise in a warm place until it fills the molds -
about an hour.

Bake in a 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes or until golden, have shrunk slightly from the sides of the molds, and can be removed easily. Unmold babas and let cool on rack before soaking and filling.

The Syrup
2 cups water
1 cup sugar
Reserved dark rum
Put water and sugar in small saucepan and bring to the boil. Boil for 30 seconds and turn off heat. Drop babas, one at a time, into the syrup and let them soak, turning once, for about 1 minute. Using slotted spoon, lift pastries out of the syrup and onto the cooling rack. Allow to cool before dousing with rum and filling with cream.

The Pastry Cream
1 cup milk
1 vanilla bean, split
4 large egg yolks
1/4 cup sugar
2 TB cornstarch
1 TB unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/3 cup heavy cream, lightly whipped

Put the milk in a medium saucepan and scrape the seeds of the vanilla bean into the pan. Toss in the pod and bring the milk to a boil. While the milk is heating, whisk the yolks and sugar together until well blended. Add cornstarch and continue to whisk until thoroughly incorporated. As soon as the milk comes to a boil, pour a little of it into the yolks, whisking constantly. Whisk the yolks back into the saucepan and continue to cook, whisking the pastry cream until it thickens. This happens in about a minute, so be alert.

Remove the pan from the heat and retrieve the vanilla bean. Wash the cream off the bean and let it dry. Then add it to your special bowl of vanilla sugar. Scrape the pastry cream into a bowl and press plastic wrap against the surface to make an airtight seal. Refrigerate to chill. I put the bowl of pastry cream in another bowl filled with ice water to accelerate the cooling.

When you're ready to fill the babas, fold the whipped cream into the chilled pastry cream.

Yeast into warm water.

Sugar in.

I let the yeast proof before adding in the egg.

Add the liquid mixture into the flour.

After beating thoroughly,
I added in the butter.

And this is what the consistency of the dough is like.

It's slowly pulling itself off the paddle.

This makes a tiny bit of dough.
I covered this in plastic,
nuked a damp towel for about 90 seconds,
and wrapped the towel around the bowl,
and set it back in the microwave to rise.

While my dough is rising,
I soaked the raisins in rum.

Butter your molds.

This is the dough after an hour.
It's risen and it's light and bubbly.

This is the consistency of the dough.

Drop in the raisins and ...

... fold in.

Spread the dough evenly in the molds.
Not the easiest thing to do,
since this a very sticky dough.

Try to even the dough out.
Place in a warm area, and let rise until the molds are filled.
(About an hour.)

While the dough was rising, I made the pastry cream.

The Pastry Cream
1 cup milk
1 vanilla bean, split
4 large egg yolks
1/4 cup sugar
2 TB cornstarch
1 TB unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/3 cup heavy cream, lightly whipped

Vanilla beans and pod in milk.
Bring to boil.

While the milk is heating,
whisk eggs with sugar.

Add in cornstarch and continue whisking
until thoroughly combined.

You want your pastry cream to be very creamy and smooth.

Milk is boiling.
Remove from heat
and pick out vanilla pods.

Rinse the cream off the pods
and let them dry out totally,
then add them to your stash of vanilla sugar.

I poured in about a third of the hot milk
into the egg mixture, whisking so the eggs don't curdle.

Pour egg mixture back to milk, whisking constantly.

Return to medium heat, whisking constantly until ...

... the sauce thickens.
Doesn't take long - about a minute - so be alert.

Remove pastry cream from heat, and stir in butter.

Cover with plastic wrap touching against the surface
and refrigerate.
I put the pastry bowl into a larger bowl filled with ice water
to hasten the cooling process.

My babas have risen.
Ready for a 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes.

Lightly golden and pulling away from the sides.

Let cool.

Spongy!
All the better to soak up the goodness.

For the syrup, mix 2 cups water with 1 cup sugar.
Bring to boil.
Boil for 30 seconds.

I soaked each baba 30 seconds each side.

Let drain.

I poured the rest of the syrup over the babas
and let them soak it up.

For heaven's sake,
don't forget the reserved rum.

Let cool completely before piping in the pastry cream.

When you're ready for the Pastry Cream,
lightly whip the heavy cream.

Add the whipped cream into the Pastry Cream and ...

... gently fold it in.

Spoon Pastry Cream into a plastic bag.

And fill each baba with the cream.

The birthday girl got cherries in hers.

These little cakes are very light.
And it's good to know this recipe for Pastry Cream.
That's some excellent stuff.

I Use The Oxford Comma.

2012-01-25T17:23:00.003-05:00

Thank you.

Rosie Is Published.

2012-01-25T12:41:00.001-05:00

Please check out my latest column
in the Outer Banks Voice.

Clam Chowder.

Happy Birthday, Rabbie Burns!

2012-01-25T11:22:00.002-05:00

Today is Robert Burn's birthday
which I acknowledge every year
by making haggis.

Please see here.

Rosie Makes Shrimp And Grits.

2012-01-25T04:45:00.003-05:00

Ahhhh.
Shrimp and grits.
The quintessential southern meal.

This dish deserves a walk-around.

Succulent shrimp and creamy, smooth grits.

I've discovered new grits and they're wonderful.
Lakeside Mill grits.
They are most excellent grits,
and Rosie knows her grits.
Order yourself some and try them out.
You'll be hooked.

Ingredients:
1 lb shrimp
Lakeside Mill yellow grits
Paul Prudhomme blackened redfish magic
1 14.5 oz. can chicken broth
cheddar cheese
butter
Spanish chorizo
hot link sausage
green pepper
celery stalk
onion

Make the grits:
1/3 heaping cup grits
1 14.5 ounce can chicken broth
salt, to taste
1/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Bring broth to a boil.
Pour in grits.
Cook over medium low heat
about 6 minutes until smooth and creamy.
Salt to taste.
Remove from heat.
Stir in a tablespoon or more of butter
and cheddar cheese.
Keep warm.

Grits going into boiling broth.

When cooked, remove from heat and add in butter.

Cheddar cheese in.
Stir to melt.

And you have some of the best grits you've ever eaten.

Another trust Rosie moment.

Next, prepare the sausage and veggies.
Chop sausage into small bits
and chop the trinity - onion, celery, and pepper.

Add in the sausage first
and cook for a few minutes.

Then add in the trinity.

Cook for a minute or two, until onions are translucent.
Set aside and keep warm.

Peel and devein shrimp.

Season with Prudhomme's blackened redfish magic.

Heat 1 TB butter and 1 TB oil over medium high heat.
Add shrimp in, one at a time.

After about 1 minute,
turn shrimp over.

Cook about a minute.
Shrimp should still be a tad gray in places,
as in undercooked.

Add in about 1/4 cup white wine, down the side of the pan.

Remove from heat.
Shrimp will cook through.

Add in a tablespoon of butter to enrich.

And plate.
First a pool of grits.
Then the sausage and veggie mixture.
Top with shrimp.

This was delightful.

Sublime.

That little extra pool of sauce
outside of the grits is from the shrimp juice.

Excellent meal, if I do say so myself.

Not For Sale, But Beautiful.

2012-01-24T16:41:00.009-05:00

Hee!
This picture arrived in an email saying,
"This table reminded me of you.
Not for sale, but beautiful."

Why that's the nicest thing I've heard in a long time.
I thank you, Anonymouse.
Oh wait.

Did you mean,
"This table reminded me of you.
Upside down and musically twisted,
but with hanging nenes."?

It's all Titty Sparkles!

And distorted choreography.

A Macabre Twist On The Barefoot Contessa.

2012-01-24T14:45:00.002-05:00

Picture, courtesy of Caity Weaver.

Thank you to my friend, Mar,
the Ever Vigilant Foodie of Foodies Untie blogdom,
for sending me this delicious jewel.

Visitor On My Piling.

2012-01-24T10:01:00.001-05:00

Great Blue Heron.

A Froggy Day In Colington.

2012-01-24T08:44:00.001-05:00

Sights On 168 Travelling Back To The Beach.

2012-01-24T07:38:00.001-05:00

On the way back.
Intracoastal Waterway.
A lone boater.

I've been meaning to stop and shoot Santa's picture.

Finally got around to it today.

Glowria and I made Mr. Hawthorne stop
so we could go into Mermaids
and pick up applications for employment.

It's been several days already
and we still haven't heard back from them.

Going across Wright Memorial Bridge.
Did I mention it was a gray day?
Colington Harbour is past the last outcropping you see.
Eight-nine miles as the gull flies.

Lunch At Forbidden City In Virginia Beach.

2012-01-23T12:46:00.002-05:00

We'd worked up quite an appetite
at the Flower and Garden Expo,
and eventually ended up at Forbidden City
in Virginia Beach, for lunch.

Handheld shot at 1/4 second.
We liked the intimate raised dining areas with curtains.

And that arrangement in the background with the buddha
was as good as anything we saw at the Flower Show.

I started out with a spring roll with beef, carrots, and garlic.

Mr. Hawthorne had the shrimp and roasted pork egg roll.

That mustard sauce is outrageous.
Let's just say, my sinuses were blown away.
Loved it!

Apparently, this gentleman is responsible
for putting the skip back into Ticky's step,
the twinkle back into Ticky's eye,
the lilt back into Ticky's voice,
the smile back into Ticky's heart.

Crazy kids.

Ticky poignantly wrote about life recently
in her blog, Reinventing A Boomer.

I've never seen corn on a Chinese menu,
except for the miniature ears,
so I ordered the corn soup.

Very fragrant egg-drop broth
with corn, chicken, and shrimp.
Crispy fried wontons.
Rosie likie.

Mr. Hawthorne's dish.
Chicken, sesame, noodles, egg, carrots, onion.
ETA: Singapore Noodles,
which Mr. Hawthorne kept referring to as Shang Hai Noodles.

Ticky's dish.
Szechuan green beans and chicken
in a sweet and spicy sauce.
Loved it.

Glowria's huge soup - Wor Mein -
a quite hearty lobster and shrimp soup
with shredded Chinese vegetables and egg noodles.

I have no idea what this tasted like.
Glow was not offering up any tastes
and she hastily cartoned up what she didn't finish
to take home with her.

Ticky's beau's meal.
ETA: Lo Mein

I realize I haven't seen the first Asian in here.

I ordered the duck with bok choy.
I haven't had duck in ages,
and I wanted different today.

Even the waitress complimented me on my lunch choices:
spring roll,
corn soup,
duck.

The skin was crisp perfection.
I realized I miss duck.

Hmmm.
Wonder if any neighbors would complain
if I picked off a few ducks out in the canal.
I've been hearing shots all morning,
so somebody's out there doing it.
Where's a good retriever when you need one?

The Hawthornes, Glowria, And Ticky Attend The Virginia Beach Flower And Garden Expo.

2012-01-23T05:20:00.004-05:00

My good friend, Ticky,
of Reinventing A Boomer blogdom,
recently emailed me.
She had tickets for the Hawthornes and Glowria
to attend the Virginia Beach Flower and Garden Expo
this past weekend.

Once again, Mr. Hawthorne is the rooster
in this little coven of hens.
Drivin' Miz. Rosie.
And Miz. Glowria.
To meet Miz. Ticky at the Convention Center.

It was a gray and dismal Saturday
Had Mr. Hawthorne been at home,
he'd be curling up to watch his morning movie right now.

Instead, Mr. Hawthorne is a Grumble Bear this morning.
He doesn't like rain.
He doesn't like to get wet.
He likes to stay indoors when there is inclement weather.
He does not like to venture out.
He doesn't like how his hair gets in humidity.

And he's driving two hens 1 1/2 + hours to Virginia Beach
to go to a FLOWER SHOW.
To meet up with another hen.

Just thought I'd set the scene here
for Mr. Hawthorne's Grand Gesture and Ultimate Sacrifice
for our little excursion.
What a sport!

The Virginia Beach Convention Center is huge.
As in 500,000 square feet.
So you can imagine the size of the parking lot.
I alert Mr. Hawthorne to a little red car pulling out of a space.
He pulls in.
We get out and what are the odds
that we would park right next to Ticky's car?

Karma, I tell ya!
This was meant.to.be.

Glowria and Mr. Hawthorne up ahead.

Did I mention this was a gray day?

Inside the convention center.

Many years ago,
XKT took me to this event for my birthday.
And it was truly spectacular.

The displays were set up to draw you in
from one landscaped area to the next.
Each display landscape was like walking into
someone's intimate garden.
The gardens lured you from one to the next.
Very well-designed.
It was quite an experience.

This time was nothing like that.
The place was wide open, with vendors hawking
all sorts of crap.
The lighting was horrible.
I didn't have a proper flash.
Yada yada yada.

There's a display area in the lobby where you can buy plants.
Nothing tickled my fancy.

Then I entered the Flower Show.
Like I said, wide open.
Booths and displays everywhere
but no focal point.
Nowhere to start.
So I immediately turn to my left
and will work my way around clockwise.

The first display is china and flowers
and a volunteer comes up to me
and starts talking about TABLESCAPES!
And this one won the Blue Prize.

My head was starting to spin,
so I left that area immediately.

Here's a nice little area.

I was wearing my Uggs
and having a problem not stepping up when I walked
into the different areas.
There was always a little step.
So I kept tripping.

I liked the waterfall with the cool lights.

Lame beach scene.

Bunch of flower arrangements,
which did absolutely nothing for me.

Gaudy crap.

Auntie Hawthorne used to do the loveliest arrangements.
Nothing here came close to hers.

OK.
I liked this.

I want a smoke feature in my garden.

Uh oh.
Glow's going to try out the hammock.

And speaking of swinging hammocks,
may I just say "Bunk Beds" is the funniest thing I've heard all day.
You know who you are.
And, once again,
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, Dear Readers, can't do it now,
but remind me to tell you that story some day.
After the rawness wears off.

As I said, "Uh oh."
This does not bode well for Glowria.

Not to worry.
Glow quickly recovered.

Then Glow espied a member of the mosquito squad, ...

... and, having the attention span of a gnat,
leaped out of the hammock
and glommed onto to him.
She noticed he'd been working out.

We ran into the Mad Hatter outside.

Stay tuned for our lunch at Forbidden City in Virginia Beach,
in which we meet Ticky's beau.

Cauliflower Soup Turns Into Moreover Oyster Soup.

2012-01-22T16:32:00.001-05:00

We've been enjoying the pureed Creamy Cauliflower Soup
I made the other day,
courtesy of Justin and Johanna Lachine of Cafe Lachine,
who conducted our cooking class
at the Roanoke Island Aquarium last week.

But now we want to put a bit of a twist on the soup.
Remember, Rosie doesn't do leftovers;
Rosie does moreovers.

In this case, we're taking the Cauliflower Soup,
and adding a few vegetables and a mollusc
and turning it an Oyster Soup.

And if you're lucky,
you might be adding some extra protein.

Chop a carrot and a stalk of celery.
No need to peel the carrot.

Add a small tiny-diced potato.
Mr. Hawthorne peeled this since the skin was somewhat iffy.

Saute diced potato, carrot, and celery,
until potato is tender.

Here's a Rosie tip to easily open oysters:
Nuke 'em.

A dozen or so take about 4-5 minutes in our microwave.
Some will pop open;
the rest will be easy to open.
Microwave times will vary
due to different strengths.

Pretty little plump oyster.

Slide oysters and the juice into Cauliflower Soup.

Add in the crabbies!

Add in the veggies and heat through.
And Cauliflower Soup is now transformed into Oyster Soup.

I like to add some scallions and parsley.

I use the shells for accenting pathways in my garden.

Hawthorne Dinner. Fried Delight.

2012-01-22T12:24:00.000-05:00

Here's dindin from the other night.
Soft shell crab, fried oysters, grilled asparagus,
remoulade sauce, cocktail sauce, and tartar sauce.

We probably have 50+ soft shells cleaned and frozen.
That should last us until soft shell crab season rolls around again.
When Mr. Hawthorne wants a soft shell crab,
by golly he wants it now.
And we're working on our second bushel of oysters.

Now that's some good eats.

I Love My Feedjit.

2012-01-22T08:39:00.000-05:00

Look at what people are Googling and how they get to my blog:

Istanbul arrived from google.com.tr on "Kitchens Are Monkey Business: Mr. Hawthorne's Most Excellent Los Barrios Salsa Ranchera." by searching for guy horse fukyy.

17:45:49 -- 34 minutes ago

Acworth, Georgia arrived from google.com on "Kitchens Are Monkey Business: July 2009" by searching for homemade pussy.

21:31:46 -- 11 hours 16 mins ago

Say Wha... Chiarello?

2012-01-21T05:26:00.004-05:00

Last night, I had Food Network on in the background
and thought I heard something stupid.
Imagine that.

I had to rewind Chiarello
on whatever program was droning to check it out.
Oh yeah.
Best Thing I Ever Ate.

And Chiarello, by the way, was quite the prima donna
on The Next Iron Chef, so I'm not fond of him in the first place.

Anyways, I wanted to be sure I heard what I heard.
And I did! I did!

Watch Chiarello wrangle that meat.
"It's fork and knife tender!" he mindlessly exclaims.

One step under chainsaw tender.

Oysters Hawthorne.

2012-01-21T05:10:00.001-05:00

The Hawthornes are working on our second bushel of oysters.
We've grilled them, we've made chowder,
we've made cauliflower and oyster soup,
we've had them raw.

Today I'm making Oysters Hawthorne,
my ersatz version of Oysters Rockefeller.
And I make it differently every time
and every time it's very good.

Half a bag of spinach, steamed and chopped
celery stalk, finely chopped
some red onion, finely chopped
some white onion, finely chopped
scallion, parsley, fennel

I steamed the spinach.

Then squeezed the excess water out.

Chopchop spinach.

Melt butter over medium high heat.
and add in chopped onions and celery.
Cook until onions are translucent.

Add in spinach.

I added a tablespoon or two of heavy cream -
just enough to bind the spinach, onions, and celery.

Freshly ground salt and pepper to taste.
Freshly ground nutmeg to taste.

3 dozen oysters, shucked

I topped each oyster with the spinach mixture.

Half the oysters I topped with the fennel.

The other half I topped with parsley and scallion.

I happened to have some extra Parmesan Cream Sauce on hand:
1 TB butter
1 TB flour
1 cup heavy cream
freshly ground salt and pepper, to taste
splash of sherry
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Melt butter over medium heat.
Add flour.
Whisk and cook about 2 minutes.
Slowly whisk in cream.
Heat until thickened.
Season to taste.
Add a splash of sherry.
Remove from heat and add in Parmesan.

Ladle sauce over top of oysters.

I grated more Parmesan over top.

And gave it a final sprinkling of Panko.

Quick trip under the broiler.

Just long enough to brown the Panko.

The great thing about these oysters
is that the oyster is still wonderfully plump.
As in, not shriveled and dried out,
like so many oysters are when broiled.
Too many people don't know how to properly broil an oyster.
Restaurants rarely get them right,
so I don't even order anymore.

Basically, it's a raw oyster warmed through.
Juicy.
Briny.
Tastes like ocean.

Little Surprises In My Plants.

2012-01-20T14:43:00.002-05:00

Did anybody besides me
read the title as, "Little Surprises In My Pants?"

No?

Is it really just me?

Hmmm.

I'll have to work on that.
Maybe.

SOPA And PIPA Dropped.

2012-01-20T13:39:00.003-05:00

Recently, I posted about SOPA and PIPA
and I posted about where to vote against these bills.

I just received this email:

Hi everyone!

A big hurrah to you!!!!! We’ve won for now -- SOPA and PIPA were dropped by Congress today -- the votes we’ve been scrambling to mobilize against have been cancelled.

The largest online protest in history has fundamentally changed the game. You were heard.

On January 18th, 13 million of us took the time to tell Congress to protect free speech rights on the internet. Hundreds of millions, maybe a billion, people all around the world saw what we did on Wednesday. See the amazing numbers here and tell everyone what you did.

This was unprecedented. Your activism may have changed the way people fight for the public interest and basic rights forever.

The MPAA (the lobby for big movie studios which created these terrible bills) was shocked and seemingly humbled. “‘This was a whole new different game all of a sudden,’ MPAA Chairman and former Senator Chris Dodd told the New York Times. ‘[PIPA and SOPA were] considered by many to be a slam dunk.’”

“'This is altogether a new effect,' Mr. Dodd said, comparing the online movement to the Arab Spring. He could not remember seeing 'an effort that was moving with this degree of support change this dramatically' in the last four decades, he added."

Tweet with us, shout on the internet with us, let's celebrate: Round of applause to the 13 million people who stood up - #PIPA and #SOPA are tabled 4 now. #13millionapplause

We're indebted to everyone who helped in the beginning of this movement -- you, and all the sites that went out on a limb to protest in November -- Boing Boing and Mozilla Foundation (and thank you Tumblr, 4chan)! And the grassroots groups -- Public Knowledge, Electronic Frontier Foundation, Demand Progress, CDT, and many more.

#SOPA and #PIPA will likely return in some form. But when they do, we'll be ready. Can you make a donation to Fight for the Future, to help us keep this fire going?

We changed the game this fall, and we're not gonna stop. $8, $20, every little bit helps.

13 million strong,

Tiffiniy, Holmes, Joshua, Phil, CJ, Donny, Douglas, Nicholas, Dean, David S. and Moore... Fight for the Future!

P.S. China's internet censorship system reminds us why the fight for democratic principles is so important:

In the New Yorker: "Fittingly, perhaps, the discussion has unfolded on Weibo, the Twitter-like micro-blogging site that has a team of censors on staff to trim posts with sensitive political content. That is the arrangement that opponents of the bill have suggested would be required of American sites if they are compelled to police their users’ content for copyright violations. On Weibo, joking about SOPA’s similarities to Chinese censorship was sensitive enough that some posts on the subject were almost certainly deleted (though it can be hard to know).
...
After Chinese Web users got over the strangeness of hearing Americans debate the merits of screening the Web for objectionable content, they marvelled at the American response. Commentator Liu Qingyan wrote:

‘We should learn something from the way these American Internet companies protested against SOPA and PIPA. A free and democratic society depends on every one of us caring about politics and fighting for our rights. We will not achieve it by avoiding talk about politics.’"

#######
(press release is here: https://fightfortheftr.wordpress.com/press-releases/)

Oatmeal Cubed.

2012-01-20T08:27:00.003-05:00

Thanks to Lea,

of The Adventures of Alpha and Omega blogdom,
I now know the pleasures of steel-cut Irish oatmeal.
I recently wrote a post about Not Yo Mama's Oatmeal,
and Lea commented about steel-cut Irish oats:

Lea said...: Have you tried Irish Oatmeal or Steel Cut oats? Oh MAN, such an improvement!!!!; January 13, 2012 10:30 AM

I have now tried them , Lea,
and there's no going back to to regular oats.
Just like when I ate stone-ground grits for the first time
and I knew there was no going back to Quaker grits.
I will continue to use the regular oatmeal
for oatmeal cookies,
but for my porridge in the morning,
it's McCann's Steel Cut Irish Oatmeal.
There is one drawback:
the price.
That 24-ounce canister was over $6.00.
But it's worth every penny.

Let's take a look:
Regular oatmeal on the right.
McCann's steel-cut Irish oatmeal on the left.

Oatmeal is made from the ground or rolled seeds of oat grass
(Avena sativa).
Oats thrive in cold climates with a short growing season,
hence its prevalence in Germany, Scandinavia,
Scotland, and Ireland.
In these European countries,
oatmeal became a basic foodstuff.
However, in the United States,
oats were nothing more than horse feed
until Ferdinand Schumacher, a German grocer,
emigrated to the United States in the mid-19th century
and saw a ready market for oatmeal
in the growing immigrant population.
Most of the US was farmland at that time
and breakfasts consisted of meats, eggs,
breads, potatoes, fruits, and vegetables.
Immigrants arriving in the growing urban areas
had neither the means nor the resources to produce such morning meals.

The climate of the American Midwest was conducive to
growing oat grass and in 1854,
Schumacher began grinding oats in his Akron, Ohio, store,
using a hand mill.
In 1856, he opened The German Mills American Oatmeal Company.
Schumacher used a water wheel to generate power
and rotate two large millstones,
a method for grinding oats that had been used for centuries.
Oats were hulled by passing them through two mill stones
turning in opposite directions.
The hulls and residue were sifted out of the oat grains, known as groats,
and crushed under a second set of stone wheels.
This produced an oatmeal that needed a 3-4 hour cooking time.
Oatmeal manufacture involves harvesting,
washing, steaming, and hulling.
Quick-cooking oats are additionally rolled
between cylinders to produce a flatter flake.

Steel cut oats are different.
Steel cut oats are whole grain groats,
which is the inner portion of the oat kernel.
The outer husk has been removed from the oat kernel
and steel discs are used to cut the oats.
No steaming and rolling like conventional oats.
This results in a distinct texture and nuttier flavor.

Which oatmeal would you prefer
if choosing just by looks?

The quick cooking oatmeal
was the only type I saw at the Teeter.

I cooked the oats according to package directions,
and I added in frozen blueberries,
sliced strawberries,
some cream, some butter,
and sourwood honey.

Swirl around to semi-combine.

I don't totally combine my ingredients.
I like pockets of flavors.

To this oatmeal,
I added slices of apples, some raisins,
brown sugar, cinnamon, and Pure Maple Syrup.

My stomach is so happy, it's singing.
And I feel positively virtuous.

Oh Please, Rachael. Use Restraint.

2012-01-19T15:35:00.002-05:00

Unfortunate screenshots.
What can I say?
Rachael offers a lot of these.

RayRay and half a Douche-ierri!

Wait.
It gets worse.
|
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.....
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..
.

Send the children out of the room.
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.

The Rache gives birth to a tongue.

This woman looks freakin' possessed.

Lunch At The Hawthornes.

2012-01-19T08:08:00.002-05:00

Welcome to lunch at the Hawthornes.
I'm taking a break from making soft pretzels
to prepare our lunch.
The dough is resting and rising.

I must thank Justin and Johanna Lachine,
of Cafe Lachine,
who conducted our last cooking class
at the North Carolina Aquarium on Roanoke Island,
for the inspiration for this meal.

We placed seared cod on a bed of orzo
mixed with caramelized grape tomatoes and pesto,
and covered the whole with a terrific Parmesan cream sauce,
spiked with just the right amount of sherry.

Pesto Orzo with Tomatoes
1/2 pound orzo pasta
1 cup grape tomatoes, sliced
3/4 cup pesto

I made that pesto the day before Hurricane Irene
came aknockin' at my door.
I went out to the garden and cut every last bit of my basil
and made a gallon or more of pesto.
I freeze it in ice cube trays,
then pop my pesto cubes out into freezer bags.
I can pull out a pesto cube in the midst of winter
and have summer on my plate.

Start on the orzo first.
Cook orzo according to directions.
Keep warm.

Heat pan over medium heat,
add 2 TB each butter and oil,
and throw in the sliced grape tomatoes.

Toss the tomatoes and keep them moving.

I like to add in a pinch of sugar to help in the caramelization.

Salt and pepper

Add orzo and pesto to the tomatoes.
Stir to coat thoroughly.
Hold warm.

Next, the Parmesan Cream sauce.

Parmesan Cream Sauce
1 cup heavy cream
1 TB butter
1 TB flour
1/2 cup Parmesan, grated
freshly ground salt and pepper
splash of sherry

Heat butter over medium low heat.
Whisk in flour.
Cook for about 3 minutes to get rid of the raw.
Heat cream separately.
Add heated cream to butter/flour mixture.
Heat until thickened.
Season with salt and pepper.
Add splash of sherry.
Taste test.
Remove from heat
and whisk in grated Parmesan.

Melt butter and whisk in flour.

Whisk away for about 3 minutes.

Slowly whisk in heated cream.

Heat until thickened.

Splash of sherry.

Remove from heat and add in grated Parmesan.
S & P to taste.

I'm loving this sauce and thinking
of all sorts of different ways I can use this.

Keep sauce warm, while you prepare the fish.

We're using cod filets.

I had to cut the cod into different sized strips
since the filet was not of even thickness.
Lightly S & P.

We started out with the thicker pieces first.
Cast iron skillet.
Medium high heat.
2 TB oil.

Next the thinner filets went in.

About 3 minutes per side on the thicker filets.
About 2 minutes each side on the thinner ones.

You can put pesto on anything
and I'll like it,
so the orzo was quite a hit.

The cream sauce was divine.

Someone pass me a straw.
Please.

Excellent lunch.
You should try this.

You Can Vote.

2012-01-18T15:06:00.008-05:00

To vote AGAINST SOPA and PIPA,
click here.

To contact your representatives,
click here.

For an explanation, click on
The Oatmeal.

Do it for the kittens.

More info here.

I really wanted to blacken my site today,
but I had no idea how to do it.

So I'll just blog about blackening.
In the spirit of things.

I Don't Like This Turn Of Events.

2012-01-18T10:07:00.005-05:00

I was writing a post about orzo
and tried to go to Wikipedia for some information.

Orzo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Try out the link, folks.

It's Black Out Day.

In protest of government legislation
to censor the Internet,
some of your favorites sites are Blacking Out today.

I found this on Facebook:

Strike Against Sopa!

sopastrike.com

Internet goes on strike — blackout everywhere.
This Wed Jan 18,
many of your favorites sites will be unavailable to you
to stop web censorship.
Tell everyone, petition even more sites to join.

Kelly Jaggers via Evil Shenanigans

Evil Shenanigans will be going down 1/18/2012 to protest SOPA (House of Representatives) and PIPA (Senate).

For those who do not know SOPA and PIPA is are bills currently in congress that would give the federal government the terrifying power to censor the internet and block/shut down websites if they so choose. There are plenty of laws that allow corporations to fight illegal content sharing. Why do we need more? It will infringe on the 1st Amendment rights of all Americans if it is passed and set a dangerous precedent.

Evil Shenanigans is going to be down in protest, and if you care about free speech I would ask you to call your representatives in congress and let them know you will not stand for unbridled federal internet censorship! They are voting on January 24th so there is still time to tell congress what we think! Wouldn't it be great if we could bring down the congressional switchboard?

For more information click the link ... and rest assured I will be back Thursday with a yummy treat ... Four-Cheese Grilled Pimento Cheese and Bacon Sandwiches!
· · 3 · 10 hours ago ·
Kelly Jaggers
Thinking of going black on Evil Shenanigans tomorrow to protest SOPA.

This is all a very sad state of affairs.
At least Kelly has her priorities in order:

"...and rest assured I will be back Thursday
with a yummy treat ...
Four-Cheese Grilled Pimento Cheese and Bacon Sandwiches!"

Whew.

Dogwood And Giada Come To Visit.

2012-01-17T21:34:00.000-05:00

My babies came back to see me.
Dogwood and Giada.

Rosie Makes Soft Pretzels.

2012-01-17T07:15:00.000-05:00

Sunday afternoon, Rosie wanted to bake in her new, old oven.
I decided to make soft pretzels
from Alton Brown's recipe.
Thank you to my friend, Mar,
of FoodiesUntie blogdom,
for sending me the recipe,
since I was too lazy to look it up myself.

These turned out quite nicely.

Especially dipped in some coarse grain mustard.

Soft Pretzels
1 1/2 cups warm water
1 TB sugar
1 package yeast
2 ounces unsalted butter, melted (and apparently imaginary)
2 tsp kosher salt
approximately 4 1/2 cups all purpose flour
10 cups water
2/3 cup baking soda
1 large egg yolk, beaten with 1 TB water
coarse salt

Combine warm water, sugar, and yeast.
Let sit until proofed, i.e. the mixture becomes foamy.
That means the yeast is active.
The yeast eats the sugar and carbon dioxide is released,
hence the bubbles.
If you have no bubbles,
toss it and start over.

Add melted butter and,
using the dough hook attachment,
gradually mix in flour on low speed until well combined.
Change to medium speed and knead until the dough
is smooth and pulls away from the side of the bowl.
Remove dough from bowl,
wipe bowl clean,
and coat with vegetable oil.
Return dough to bowl, cover with plastic wrap,
and let sit in warm place until dough has doubled in size.

Heat oven to 450 degrees.
Line 2 sheet pans with parchment paper
and lightly brush with the vegetable oil.
At least that's what Alton says to do.
I don't think the oil does anything,
since it just pools on the parchment.

Bring 10 cups of water and baking soda to a rolling boil.

Turn the dough out and divide into 8 equal pieces.
Roll out each piece of dough into a 24-inch rope.
Make a U-shape with the rope.
Holding the ends of the rope,
cross the ends over each other and
press onto the bottom of the U
to form the shape of a pretzel.
Place onto parchment-lined pan.

Place pretzels, one at a time, into the boiling water,
for 30 seconds.
Remove from water and return to the sheet pan.
Brush top of each pretzel with the beaten egg yolk and water
and sprinkle with coarse salt.
I sprinkled a few with fennel seeds
and some with caraway seeds.
Bake until dark golden brown in color, about 14-16 minutes.
Transfer to rack to cool.

Sprinkle the yeast onto the water.

Then the sugar.
Watch as the sugar crystals grab the yeast granules
and plunge to the bottom.
Or do the yeast granules
cling onto the sugar crystals?
Stir to mix.

Let the yeast mixture proof.
Puffy and bubbly.

With machine running,
add in melted butter.

Add in salt.

Gradually add in flour.
Slowly at first.

Then turn speed up to medium.

Continue kneading until dough forms a ball
and pulls away from the side of the bowl.

I pulled the dough off the hook
and worked it a few turns on my board.

Nice, smooth dough.
I put the dough in my oiled bowl,
covered it in plastic and with a hot, wet towel,
and stuck it in the microwave to rise.

While this was rising,
I made lunch,
consisting of orzo with caramelized tomatoes and pesto,
and cod with a Parmesan cream sauce.
Post to follow.

When the dough doubled in size ...

... I turned it out onto my board.

Mix baking soda with water
and eventually bring to a rolling boil.

Cut dough into 8 pieces.

Roll into balls.

Roll evenly into ropes.
Try to do better than I did.
Mr. Hawthorne's two ropes at the end look pretty good.

Fashion into pretzel shapes.

Place onto parchment-lined pans.

Drop singly into boiling water
and cook for 30 seconds.

Uncooked pretzels on left.
Puffy cooked pretzels on right.

Brush with yolk mixture.

I'm using coarse sea salt.
Use sparingly.

Sometimes I get caught up in getting just the right picture,
and I shoot an action shot over and over again.
And that's what happened to the salt on my pretzels.
I was trying to get the picture.
And ended up using a lot of salt.

I added fennel seeds on some.
Caraway seeds on others.

Bake at 450 degrees for about 16 minutes.

Cool on racks.

Way too much salt,
but remember, I was trying to get the sprinkle action shot.
I scraped off most of the salt before I ate.
But the salt also makes it look real pretty.

I liked the caraway.

Dip it in some coarse grain mustard.

Very nice soft, bready texture inside.

Hot pretzel straight from the oven.
Butter and mustard.

Now, I need a recipe for a hard pretzel.
And Alton happens to have one.
Same ingredients.
Different process.
I guess I'll have to try this.

Ouch.

2012-01-16T10:41:00.011-05:00

Giada, Dogwood, and Daughter Hawthorne
are visiting for a couple of days.
Giada came into my bedroom, as usual, at 6:43 AM,
to get my sorry ass out of bed
and take her for a run through the neighborhood.
I obliged.
It was quite painful though.
Even with heavy gloves on,
my Raynaud's kicked in immediately.
Got back home in about 45 minutes
and checked the mailbox
since I forgot to on Saturday.

I found a plain hand-written envelope.
It was a bill.
Not just any bill.
A bill from my vet.
From September 15, 2011.
Four months after the fact.

Date Description Amount

09/15/2011 Exam - Routine Exam 49.00
09/15/2011 Misc* 25.00
09/15/2011 Euthanasia - Large Dog 70.00

Invoice Total 144.00

*Misc - abdominal tap and tube

Gut punch.
As in I can't breathe.
Oh please, this was no routine exam.
Tell me, what the hell was routine!??!
The Miscellaneous part,
for Dixie,
and for me,
was the most visceral.

Sorry, I tend to over-punctuate when mad and hurt.

I'm reading this and reliving everything.
It made it real all over again.

On the bright side,
this week can only get better.

Rosie Makes Appetizers.

2012-01-16T05:08:00.000-05:00

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon.
Cold outside.
The kind of day when I turn on the instant fireplace
to give some warmth and coziness
and I can sort of feel good about things
I accomplished over the week.
My to-do list, although still staggering,
is almost at a manageable point.
It's the reorganization of the New Year
and it can be overwhelming.

I'm very happy to have my oven fixed,
so instead of finally baking something hearty
on this cold day to celebrate the day and good fortune,
I decide to make a cold appetizer.

It starts with Cold Smoked Alaska Sockeye Salmon.

My "recipe:"
Triscuits
Cream cheese
Cucumber, thinly sliced
Salmon sliced
Red onion, chopped
Fresh dill sprigs
Capers

Assemble.

Now, I could have just posted all these pictures
and you probably wouldn't even notice that
there are no capers involved whatsoever.
I was out of capers.
Quel horreurs!
I know. I know.
Rosie is slackin' off.
There really is no excuse.

So in the interest of full disclosure,
I am disclosing that the round things in the pictures
are peppercorns, not capers.
I prefer capers to peppercorns,
and don't suggest using peppercorns
unless you really really like them.
I just used the peppercorns
to sub for the capers in the picture.

And I probably could have left this explanation out
and you never would have noticed.
In fact, there have been times when I've sneaked
certain ... objects ... into my mise en place
and no one even noticed.

Tell you what.
Here's a contest for you.
If you don't have a life,
go back through my posts,
checking out the mise en place
and see if you can find:
1. A condom package.
2. My Smith & Wesson 38 special.
Winners will receive a gift package from Rosie.

Heh.
I showed the photograph to Youngest Hawthorne
and, without hesitation, he asked me,
"Mama, why is your gun in the picture?"
He notices things like that.

Anyways, you just have to pretend that little ball is a caper.

Excellent little morsel.

I love all the flavors and textures together.
Crunchy triscuit on the bottom,
then the creaminess of the cheese.
Cooling cucumber, the bite of the onion,
smoky salmon, herbalicious dill.
And if I actually had capers in there,
you'd have this salty, tangy, pungent thing going on in your mouth too.

Trust Rosie.
Make this and throw in the capers.

Steingarten With A Fly In His Hair.

2012-01-15T19:12:00.003-05:00

OYSTERS!

2012-01-15T08:53:00.000-05:00

The Hawthornes just procured our second bushel of oysters.
And one of my favorite ways to eat oysters
is grilled with a buttery Parmesan/Paprika/Sugar topping.
The original recipe calls for 2 cups grated Parmesan
and a quarter cup each paprika and sugar.
Each time I make it,
since it's just the two of us,
I scale it back and readjust for my tastes -
1 cup grated Parmesan
3 TB hot Hungarian paprika
1 TB sugar

Also, be sure to use a good quality Parmesan cheese.
Buy a few different wedges and taste test
since Parmesans vary widely in flavor, intensity, and saltiness.
Using what's available at the Teeter,
my favorite, right now, is Il Villagio,
but I'm always willing to try something else.

To cook the oysters, we placed them on a fired-up grill,
poured melted butter over each oyster,
and sprinkled the Parmesan mixture over top.
Helps to have an extra set of hands here.
One to pour the butter
and one to sprinkle.
And you'll get lovely flare-ups on the grill.
Close the grill for about a minute.
When the liquid is bubbly, they're ready.

I'm getting my oyster fix
and it feels gooooooood.

For a change of pace,
I'm topping the grilled oysters off with some raw ones.
Nothing needed more than melted butter and lemon juice.

Rosie is happy.
Very happy.

Sweet. Juicy. Briny.
Tastes like the ocean.

Zzzadig, too bad you missed this.
Not to worry though.
I'll have some more today,
just for you.

I Love My Feedjit.

2012-01-15T08:26:00.003-05:00

Le Mans, Pays de la Loire arrived from google.fr on "Kitchens Are Monkey Business: Dixie's Noodle. Glowria And Dixie Frolic Once Again." by searching for rectal pineapple insertion.

06:30:04 -- 1 hour 57 mins ago

Who the hell Googles rectal pineapple insertion and why?
Wait, I don't think I want to know.

The Wait Is Finally Over. The Oven Issue Has Been Resolved.

2012-01-14T23:15:00.002-05:00

Good news, folks.
My oven was finally fixed today.

- Let me hear a collective sigh of relief from the cyberspace. -

On Friday, December 16,
during the midst
of my annual Rosiethon
of Christmas Baking,
my oven died on me.
I found there were only two settings:
Off and Hell.

We went through 3 or 4 different appliance repairmen
and the first ones didn't want to touch our stove.

This one did.
Jim came out December 28 to check out our situation.
Mind you, Mr. Hawthorne had already spoken
numerous times to Dacor, the manufacturer,
and they had overnighted about $500 worth of parts to us,
based upon the error message I read on the display panel.

Repairman comes out and determines
that the oven is not the way to access the defective control panel.
I also find out from Jim on December 28
that I could have been using the "Pure Convection"
setting all this time, since that works off a different panel.
Great that I found that out
after almost two weeks of no oven
and three previous non-repairmen.

Jim finds out he needs to get to the panel from the cook top.
And here's the glitch.
There's a certain tool he needs
to release the thingies that are under the burners.
He ordered the tool he needed.
It was supposed to come in the next day.
That was over 2 weeks ago.

Didn't come in until yesterday.

And this is it.
This is what I've been patiently awaiting.

There's no other tool or way
to twist off the thingamajiggies.
This tool is specific to the particular
dingywingies on my oven.

And the holes there are to put something through
so you get the leverage to twist
and get the thingamabobs off.

If I get too technical for you,
stop me and I'll tone it down.

Here's my wonderful repairman
taking off the cook top.

See those little rings on the right hand counter?
They came off those little watchamacallies
arranged arround the burners.
And that's what the special tool, $16, was for.
To get the doodads off.

You engineers, jump right in here
with the proper terminology
whenever you can.

Guts of my stove.

The offending panel is being removed.

This guy was good.

This is like open-heart surgery.
I winced more than once.

Piece o' crap.

I love it when I find no mouse nests inside my stove.

Oven back together.
Total time - about 50 minutes.

And Rosie's back in business.

Jim rocks.
I thank you.

The Hawthornes Entertain. Creamy Cauliflower Soup With Shrimp.

2012-01-14T15:49:00.002-05:00

XKT and Glowria stopped by this afternoon.
We've already had salsa and chips
and asparagus roll ups.

Since I enjoyed it so much at the NC Aquarium cooking class,
I'm making a creamy pureed cauliflower soup,
with a few variations.

I chopped the cauliflower into florets
and chopped an onion.

Melt 2 TB butter and add in onions.
Cook over medium heat until onions are translucent.

Chop 1 large potato.

Add in cauliflower and ...

... potato.

Cover with broth.
I used one can of vegetable broth
and two cans of chicken broth.

Cook over low heat until potato and cauliflower are tender.
You should be able to squish the cauliflower
with tongs and have it crumble.

Ladle the soup into a processor and ...

... process.

You need to do this in batches.

Return puree to pan
and pour in 1 pint heavy cream, heated.
Heat over low to thicken.

Instead of $14.99/pound scallops,
I'm using the shrimp I already have
($2.75/pound).
I sprinkled some Paul Prudhomme
Redfish Magic over the shrimp.

1 TB butter and 1 TB oil in pan.
Medium high heat.
Add in shrimp.

Cook for a minute until the shrimp is just done.
Generally, people tend to overcook shrimp,
so be careful.
Turn off heat when there's still
a tiny bit of translucence of the gray.
Carry-over cooking will finish it off.
If you'd like to throw in a swig of sherry
or white wine, now's the time to do it.

The soup was not as thick as we wanted,
so I'm making a beurre manie (kneaded butter) to thicken it up.

Mix 1 TB softened butter with 1 TB flour.

Knead the mixture until the flour is thoroughly incorporated.

Keep going.

Like this.

Add to soup.
Stir over low heat until thickened.
Taste test and add freshly ground salt and pepper to taste.

For my toppings,
I'm using bacon, scallions, chives, and black truffle oil.
And don't forget the shrimp.

Just a light drizzling of the truffle oil.
You don't want the earthiness to overpower.

Soup time!

I always like a little extra pepper.

Salty crunchy bacon complemented
the smooth creamy cauliflower.
Nice greenness from the chives and scallions.
Sweet succulent shrimp with a slight heat to them.
And the je ne c'est quoi of the truffle oil.
Another happy meal.

Glowria does another face plant in her soup bowl.

Geeze, Glow.
Just ask for another bowl.

I have plenty of soup.

Glowria loves seeing herself on the World Wide Web.

Thanks imaginary XKT
and Glowria for coming.

Glow, you did see XKT there that night, didn't you?

She's so happy to be out of that European boarding school.

The Hawthornes Entertain. Asparagus Roll Ups In Puff Pastry.

2012-01-14T11:52:00.003-05:00

The Hawthornes have guests this evening.
XKT and Glowria are stopping by.
How exciting!

For an appetizer,
I'm taking Mr. Hawthorne's Asparagus Roll-Ups

to the next level, by wrapping them in puff pastry.

When shopping for asparagus,
look for tightly formed heads,
not loose and spindly.

These were the best I could find.
Sam's Club in Chesapeake or Virginia Beach, VA.
I never know where I am when we drive there.

I dropped the asparagus into boiling water.
One minute.
No more.

Immediately plunge into ice water
to stop the cooking and set the pretty green color.

Drain on a green-striped kitchen towel.

Wrap in shaved maple ham.

Wrap in puff pastry.
Bake in a 400 degree oven for 15-20 minutes,
or until puffy and golden brown.

These were lovely little appetizers.
I served them with a coarse-grained mustard,
but when I make them again,
I'll spread the mustard first on the inside of the puff pastry,
then wrap the asparagus.
More bang for your buck.

Enjoy!

Stay tuned next for my take on
Cafe Lachine's Creamy Cauliflower Soup
from our last cooking class at the aquarium.

The Hawthornes Entertain. Salsa!

2012-01-14T06:50:00.004-05:00

The Hawthornes are having guests this afternoon,
so I'm making a quick salsa for an appetizer.
XKT and Glowria are dropping by.
I'm excited to see Glowria again.
A few months ago, she was sent off to a European boarding school,
but now, thankfully, she's back.
Welcome back, Glow!
We missed you.

Making a salsa is so very simple
and the end result is superior
to anything you can by in the store,
even when using crappy winter tomatoes.
By the way, Roma tomatoes
will be the least crappiest in the wintertime.

Salsa is not rocket science.
Put your own spin on it.
Go crazy!
Use a red onion!
Use multi-colored sweet peppers in addition to the hot ones!
Add garlic!
Parsley!

Here's how I made it.

4 tomatoes
1 jalapeno pepper
1 serrano pepper

1 small onion

I don't like tomato skins,
so I'm removing them.
Drop tomatoes into boiling water.
Leave for about 10 seconds, then remove.
Skin peels right off.

I don't like tomato seeds either,
so I slice the tomatoes in half,
stick my fingers in the gel sacs,
and squeeze with the other hand.
Seeds and juice are expelled.

1 cup peeled, seeded, and juiced tomatoes
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup minced hot peppers

Add in a scant tablespoon of sugar.

And a tablespoon of cider vinegar.
Season with freshly ground salt and pepper.
Maybe two grinds of salt
and 5 grinds of pepper.
Rosie likes her pepper.

Add in 2 TB chopped cilantro.

Cover and refrigerate
for an hour or so to let the flavors meld.

Perfect balance of flavors.

Next up, another appetizer:
Asparagus in puff pastry.

My Feedjit.

2012-01-13T20:41:00.004-05:00

It's funny how this happens.
So many times,
several people are looking for the same thing
in the same time frame.
Interesting.
It happens a lot.

Tonight it's Julia Child's English muffins.

This, from my Feedjit, tonight:

Charlotte, North Carolina arrived from google.com on "Kitchens Are Monkey Business: Rosie Makes Julia Child's Homemade English Muffins." by searching for julia child and company english muffins video.

20:43:26 -- 1 minute ago

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania arrived from google.com on "Kitchens Are Monkey Business: Rosie Makes Julia Child's Homemade English Muffins." by searching for julia childs english muffins.

19:36:46 -- 1 hour 4 mins ago

West Bloomfield, Michigan arrived from google.com on "Kitchens Are Monkey Business: Rosie Makes Julia Child's Homemade English Muffins." by searching for julia childs recipes for english muffins.

19:31:19 -- 1 hour 15 mins ago

Oh Pauler, Pauler, Pauler.

2012-01-13T19:54:00.006-05:00

As if this disturbing image weren't enough,
now I find this:

Robert?
See what lying through your teeth on your resume
will reduce you to?
You're Pauler Deen's bitch, for God's sake!

Tampa Bay Times first outed Chef Robert Irvine's "misrepresentations."

And you gotta love the butter jockey.

Shocking News!

2012-01-13T14:16:00.015-05:00

Thanks again to the Ever Alert Marion

for sending me this item.

Paula Deen's Big Fat Secret.

Wow!
Who could've seen that one coming?

Butter Rider!
Butter Jockey!

Let's see.

Paula's made Deep-Fried Lasagna.
She's Deep-Fried Mac and Cheese.
She's Deep-Fried Black Eyed Peas and Ham Bites.
She's made Deep-Fried Cranberry Sauce Fritters.
She's Deep-Fried Chicken Pie.
She's Deep-Fried Ham.
She's Deep-Fried Cannoli.
She's Deep-Fried a Bagel Sandwich.
She's Deep-Fried Stuffing on a Stick.
She's made Hamburger With Glazed Doughnuts For The Buns.
She's Deep-Fried Cheesecake.And, bless her artery-clogged, blocked, and diseased heart,
Paula has made Fried Butter Balls.

Not to worry though.
One of the Deen boys
(I forget which one - whether it's Dumb or Dumber.)
is cashing in on this with his new show,
"Not My Mama's Meals, Just My Mama's Coattails."

Not Yo Mama's Oatmeal. Part Deux.

2012-01-13T10:20:00.001-05:00

I'm on an oatmeal kick.
Bear with me.

Oatmeal and apples today.

Some brown sugar.

Some raisins.

A little cinnamon.

Strawberries.

Cream.

Don't forget the buttah!

And now Rosie likes oatmeal.

Never liked it before.
But this made my stomach happy.

Very happy.

Now I need to find something else I don't like,
or you don't like,
and make it likeable.

That's a challenge.
Any suggestions?

Rosie Makes Not-Yo-Mama's-Oatmeal.

2012-01-13T00:11:00.002-05:00

Mr. Hawthorne, like anyone our ages,
tries to eat healthily.
I guess none of us thought we'd really live this long,
since probably we were not so kind to our bodies
back in the day when we should have been.

So now, we have those weekly pill boxes
(I have two. A week goes by so fast these days.)
that tell us what day it is.
My pill box is my calendar.

And Mr. Hawthorne goes to the GNC store
every month, the first week,
and uses up his ol' man crap semi-deals
to load up on whatever
he thinks his body needs after whatever
abuse was inflicted upon it.
Years ago.

I SWEAR.
I hear noises in my kitchen
as I type.
Hopefully,
it's mice.

Heh.
Never thought I'd write,
"Hopefully, it's mice."

Back to Mr. Hawthorne trying to eat healthy foods:
Throughout the week,
Mr. Hawthorne eats fiber-rich cereals with skim milk,
an egg white omelet with his Salsa Ranchera,
or a bowl of oatmeal.
He allows himself bacon or Eggs Benedict
or a real omelet loaded with cheese only on the weekends.

Me?
I eat whatever I want.
Whenever I want.
Life is short.

Back to the oatmeal.
I was watching Mr. Hawthorne eat that oatmeal glop one day
and I just had to have a taste.
And guess what.
There was no taste.

If I could conjure up anything,
it would be "wallpaper paste."
Not that I've licked paste before.
Ever.

I knew right then and there,
I had to make this stuff palatable.

And I did.

Oatmeal in salted water.
Heat up.
Cook according to directions on oatmeal box.
Does one need directions to cook oatmeal?

I added some frozen blueberries.
See?
I can do healthy.

Then I added some Craisins.

Some wheat germ.
Healthy!

Strawberries!
I'm feeling healthier already.

Handful of pecans.

Mr. Hawthorne's sourwood honey.

Big chunk o' buttah.

The last of the pure maple syrup.
Not to worry.
I have another bottle.
I've been saving it to do the
whipped maple syrup recipe
E.A.Marion sent me.

Might as well use the rest of the jar of honey.

It truly needed some heavy cream.

Serve with additional butter.
Now THAT'S oatmeal.

Hmmmm.

Tomorrow, maybe apples, cinnamon, and brown sugar.
Along with the butter, the cream, and the nuts and honey.

Sounds like a plan.

Wait!
What about molasses and corn syrup?
Another type of nut?

Mo buttah??

Kitchens Are Monkey Business

The Deen Machine Continues To Roll.

Mr. Hawthorne Cans Salsa Ranchera.

Mr. Hawthorne Bakes A Birthday Cake For Rosie.

Happy Birthday To Rosie!

It's Rosie's Birthday!

Rosie Makes Birthday Babas.

I Use The Oxford Comma.

Rosie Is Published.

Happy Birthday, Rabbie Burns!

Rosie Makes Shrimp And Grits.

Not For Sale, But Beautiful.

A Macabre Twist On The Barefoot Contessa.

Visitor On My Piling.

A Froggy Day In Colington.

Sights On 168 Travelling Back To The Beach.

Lunch At Forbidden City In Virginia Beach.

The Hawthornes, Glowria, And Ticky Attend The Virginia Beach Flower And Garden Expo.

Cauliflower Soup Turns Into Moreover Oyster Soup.

Hawthorne Dinner. Fried Delight.

I Love My Feedjit.

Say Wha... Chiarello?

Oysters Hawthorne.

Little Surprises In My Plants.

SOPA And PIPA Dropped.

Oatmeal Cubed.

Oh Please, Rachael. Use Restraint.

Lunch At The Hawthornes.

You Can Vote.

I Don't Like This Turn Of Events.

Orzo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Kelly Jaggers via Evil Shenanigans

Kelly Jaggers

Thinking of going black on Evil Shenanigans tomorrow to protest SOPA.

Dogwood And Giada Come To Visit.

Rosie Makes Soft Pretzels.

Ouch.

Rosie Makes Appetizers.

Steingarten With A Fly In His Hair.

OYSTERS!

I Love My Feedjit.

The Wait Is Finally Over. The Oven Issue Has Been Resolved.

The Hawthornes Entertain. Creamy Cauliflower Soup With Shrimp.

The Hawthornes Entertain. Asparagus Roll Ups In Puff Pastry.

The Hawthornes Entertain. Salsa!

My Feedjit.

Oh Pauler, Pauler, Pauler.

Shocking News!

Not Yo Mama's Oatmeal. Part Deux.

Rosie Makes Not-Yo-Mama's-Oatmeal.