Oooooh Chocolate! Or, F is For February and Fabulous Fudge.

 

   I was feeling a bit peaked and couldn't quite figger out what my body was lacking, so when in doubt, I always go with chocolate.

Here's a super simple chocolate fudge recipe for you that'll cure whatever ails you.

And it’s just in time for Valentine’s Day, in case you’re of that particular persuasion and you actually celebrate such an occasion. If you’re like me and don’t give a crap about V-Day, then you’re in luck.  You don’t have to share and you get to eat all this wonderful chocolate all by yourself.

Rosie's Chocolate Fudge

1 14-oz. can sweetened condensed milk

1 TB vanilla extract

20 oz. bittersweet chocolate morsels (I used Ghirardelli.)

3 TB unsalted butter cut into 1/2 inch pieces, room temperature

big handful of chopped pecans

handful of mini-marshmallows

Handful of white chocolate morsels

chocolate ganache for icing

For the fudge:

Lightly butter an 8x8 inch baking pan.  Line pan with buttered parchment paper, allowing excess paper to overhang the sides so you can pull it out easily.

In a large, heatproof bowl combine the condensed milk, chocolate, extract, and butter.  Place bowl on top of a pot with simmering water (like a double boiler).  Stir ingredients with rubber spatula until chocolate is melted.  Immediately remove from heat so the chocolate doesn't separate and continue stirring until the mixture is smooth.  Scrape fudge into prepared pan and spread evenly with an offset spatula.  I decided to sprinkle in some pecans here along with some mini-marshmallows, just pressing them into the fudge.  And when I make this again (and I will -  It's that good), I think I'll press in some white chocolate morsels as well, just because.  Another case of more is more.

Refrigerate until set, about 2 hours.  Lift fudge from pan using the overhang and frost with ganache.  Let set, and then cut into squares.

For the ganache:

In a microwaveable bowl, nuke 1/2 cup heavy cream until just simmering.  To the hot cream, I added 2 oz. 70% Lindt dark chocolate and 2 oz. 85% Lindt dark chocolate, but you can use your own combinations.  The general rule for ganache is equal amounts cream and chocolate, by weight, so I used 4 oz. cream with 4 oz. chocolate.  This produces a spreadable consistency for a frosting or glaze.  You can use whatever type chocolate you like - semisweet or bittersweet, just not unsweetened. Stir until melted and smooth.  If your chocolate, for whatever reason, ever seizes up, (water droplets can do this to chocolate) or is too thick,  just heat a little more cream in a small sauce pan and whisk the chocolate mixture, bit by bit, into the hot cream.  It'll smooth right out.  When it's a nice spreadable consistency, pour it over the fudge, spreading it evenly with an offset spatula.  Refrigerate until set. Peel off parchment and then cut into squares.  

Although you may be tempted to do so, you don’t have to eat the entire batch.  You can freeze part of it if you like, hiding it in the deepest recesses of your freezer.  Then, whenever you need a fudge fix, take out a square or two, nuke until melted, plop a scoop of ice cream in there, maybe pour some leftover morning coffee, perhaps drizzle some leftover ganache over top, and have yourself an instant chocolate sundae dessert.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, here are the step-by-steps.

 

I like to have my mise-en-place, with everything ready to go:                                                                          Buttered and parchment-lined baking dish. 

Double boiler (bowl over pot with water).

Sweetened condensed milk.

Bittersweet chocolate morsels.           

Vanilla.    

 Buttah.

 

Combine chocolate, butter, and condensed milk.

Add in vanilla.

Melt slowly over simmering water.

Stir.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keep stirring.

Pour into prepared pan and smooth it out with offset spatula.

 

 

 

 Sprinkle pecans, white chocolate morsels, and mini-marshmallows over top.

Press in.

Let set. 

I cut these first, then poured on the ganache.

You could pour the ganache on, refrigerate and let set, then cut.

But my way gets more ganache over more surface area.

Enjoy.

Rosie Makes Coconut Fried Shrimp.

 

 

 If you're looking for the best coconut fried shrimp, you've found it.

I always have shrimp available.  The Hawthornes stock up in the fall and freeze individual servings, so a shrimp meal is merely a thaw away.

Here are the step-by-steps to my go-to coconut fried shrimp.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First, shell and de-tract shrimp.  That black line on the back of the shrimp is not a vein.  It's the digestive tract. So I say de-tract, not de-vein.  And I get rid of it. I'm saving the shells to use for shrimp stock.

My peeled shrimp is on the left.  Then I have a 3-part station the shrimp will be going through.

First is a fairly equal combination of flour and cornstarch, with Old Bay sprinkled in.  Mix it up.

Next is eggs.  Beat 'em.

Last is the coconut flakes with a little bit of panko bread crumbs mixed in.

Dredge the shrimp through the flour mixture, then the beaten eggs, and finally roll around in the coconut.  Place all the shrimp on a plate and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.  This gives me time to clean up my mess, make the dipping sauce, and heat up the oil.  It's always nice when you're sitting down to eat to not have to look at a colossal mess in the kitchen that you're dreading to clean up and which will ultimately diminish and distract from your enjoyment of your repast.

Now for the dipping sauce.  I'll give you the basic proportions as a starting point, then you can taste-test and adjust for however you like.

 

Pineapple Dipping Sauce

1 small can pineapple with juice (I used chunks which is all I had and I minced them up.  You could use crushed.  Same thing.)

1/4 cup orange marmalade

1 TB soy sauce

1 TB horseradish

1 TB Dijon mustard

1 TB sriracha

Mix all ingredients together in a small pan and heat through.  Remember to taste test and adjust for yourself.  You could, for example, substitute apricot for the orange marmalade.  Or an Asian sweet chili sauce for the sriracha.  A stone ground mustard for the Dijon. Have fun with it.

My pan is heavy-duty fry pot. 4 inches deep, 6-inch diameter at bottom, 8-inch diameter at top.  I poured in about 1/2 inches oil.  Heated it up hot. Usually I fry at 375°, but I start out hot because the temperature is going to drop as soon as you put cold shrimp into it.  If you are going to fry, it's best to have an instant read laser thermometer.  Fairly inexpensive and worth every penny.  If your oil is not hot enough, your food will be greasy and soggy because it doesn't develop a crisp crust as intended and will absorb excess oil.  Too hot and you'll burn the outside and the inside will be undercooked.  Get a thermometer.  It takes the guess work out of frying.  

Place shrimp in hot oil, one at a time, so as not to drastically lower the temperature of the oil.  I fry 6 at a time for about 1 minute 15 - 30 seconds, depending on size of shrimp.

Remove from oil and drain on a rack.

Serve with dipping sauce and I like some chopped cilantro over top.

Enjoy.

 Charlie, This One's For You!

I had a plea for help today from one of my fellow beach bums distinguished sunrise followers, who needed a book of recipes for idiots  those who are culinarily-challenged  - for those who may or may not be able to boil water, who may or may not be able to follow directions, who may or may not know where the kitchen is.  I'll make this as painless as possible for you, Charlie.

Now, Charlie, I'm gonna make stir-fry vegetables, rice, (using that lousy-ass rice that comes in a carton from the Chinese restaurants and tastes similar to the carton and is nothing but a rectangular block of crapstarch), and sweet and sour pork, just because I happened to have some frozen pork loins I bought months ago for $1.99/pound and I've been saving them for an opportunity such as this, to edumacate you.

I believe you mentioned a wok, stock, and possibly vegetables, so I gather you have a passing idea of what we can do here.  No real measuring needs to be done.  I think you might can do this on the fly.

Usually I give a step-by-step tutorial, but with you, I'm assuming you have some active brain cells and can pull this together.

 At least I hope so.

 

FYI, here's what we're aiming for:

 

 

So let's start, shall we?

Here are my two pork loins frozen together, along with various vegetables in the background I'll be using, plus that nasty carton of take-out rice, which I will try my best to redeem.

 The loins were about one inch thick,1 1/2 inches wide, and 3-4 inches long, give or take.

 

 

 Here's my hand for comparison.

 

 The best way to slice meat is to have it slightly frozen. 

Cut across the grain.

And make slices about 1/4 inch thick. And maybe 1/2 inch wide.

Drop the pork slices into your batter.

 

Pork Batter:

 You don't need measuring cups.  Eyeball it.

But, if you WERE using measuring cups, here's what I'd measure:

1/2 cup flour

1/4 cup cornstarch

1/2 cup milk

1 egg

1/2 tsp kosher salt 

2 TB sherry

Mix it all together until smooth and drop in the pork slices.  Let 'em take a little bath while you start on the craprice (just some doctoring involved), the vegetables (stir fry!), and the sweet and sour sauce (no-brainer).

  

 

 And here's the box of craprice.

I dumped it in a small pot, added copious amounts of water,or if you want to get fancy, you could add broth, or even orange juice would be delightful here, then salt it like you're putting a lick out for cows.  This rice had NO taste to it.  Heat it up, stir it, then plop in lots of butter. I use unsalted butter since I've already salted the rice TO TASTE.  When it tastes right, cover it and set aside.

Next, I made the sweet and sour sauce.  And sorry, no pics, since I actually made this yesterday and wasn't planning on blogging about it, but since you INSISTED...

Sweet and Sour Sauce

Have your mise-en-place ready.  That means get your shit together.  You don't want to be having a pan smokin' hot and then all of a sudden you go, "Where is that damn eye of newt?"  "Where is that uvula of orangutang?"  "Where did I stash those illegal ortolans when I was sure Fish and Wildlife were dropping by?"  You get the picture.

 

Soooo, have ready:

A small sauce pan,

tablespoon of oil

about 3 cubes of ginger *

4 cloves of garlic

1/4 cup cider vinegar

1/4 cup sugar

2 TB soy sauce

1 cup soup stock (I used beef broth) mixed with 2 TB cornstarch.

1 small can pineapple chunks with juice

* About that ginger.  I buy whole ginger root, cut it into cubes, then freeze it.  You'll want to use both the ginger pulp and the juice here.  I have found you cannot get juice out of fresh ginger, however once it's frozen, you can nuke the cubes for maybe 20 seconds, then run it through a garlic press, and the juice comes right out.  Mince the pulp.  Also run the garlic through the press and put it in with the ginger juice and pulp.

Now, lets make the sweet and sour sauce:

Small sauce pan.

Heat a tablespoon of oil in it. Medium low heat.  Pour in the ginger juice, pulp, and garlic, stirring.  Be careful not to burn garlic.  It gets bitter.  Add in sugar and vinegar and soy.  Stir constantly.  Now here's a little trick you may want to try:  Stir in some sweet relish, maybe 2-3 teaspoons. Gives it a little oomph.  Next stir cornstarch in beef stock really well and slowly pour that into the pot, stirring and thickening.  Pour in some of the pineapple juice and some of the chunks.  Save rest of chunks for vegetable stir fry.

When thickened, cover and set aside.

 

The rice and the sweet sour sauce can sit patiently.

Lets do the vegetables next, then the meat last.

 

Vegetables for Stir Fry

broccoli florets

baby carrots cut into matchsticks (that's julienned)

chopped onion

minced garlic (4-5 cloves)

red bell pepper

Heat a medium skillet over medium high heat.  Add a TB oil, let it get hot, then add carrots.  I like to sprinkle a little sugar and salt over the carrots.  Sugar helps in caramelization. 

 After a minute of STIR/frying, add in the broccoli, onions, pepper, and garlic. Throw in any pineapple chunks you might have.  And another nice addition would be a can of chopped water chestnuts.  Gives it a nice crunch.  Cook and stir about a minute to coat and slightly thicken.  You want it UNDERcooked.  Transfer to a bowl and set a lid over top. It'll keep on steaming and cooking, so that's why you want it all undercooked.

 

Now for the battered pork:

Heavy skillet.  About 1/2 inch oil. Let it get hot.  400°.  Tong in pork strips, one at a time, letting excess batter drip off, six strips tops at a time.  You do NOT want to lower the temp of the oil.  You want to maintain it for a crisp fry.  This is the mistake virgin fryers make.  They add too much protein to the skillet which drastically reduces the temperature and gives you a soggy, greasy, disappointing fry. Cook about one minute on each side, until golden brown, then lift out and place on drain.  Continue frying in batches until done.

 

Serve stir fry vegetables on a bed of not-so-disappointing-rice now, with crisp fried pork tenders, and  sauce over top or on the side.

 

TA DA!

 

Bon appétit!