Saturday, January 25, 2025

 Charlie, This One's For You!

I had a plea for help today from one of my fellow beach bums distinguished sunrise followers, who needed a book of recipes for idiots  those who are culinarily-challenged  - for those who may or may not be able to boil water, who may or may not be able to follow directions, who may or may not know where the kitchen is.  I'll make this as painless as possible for you, Charlie.

Now, Charlie, I'm gonna make stir-fry vegetables, rice, (using that lousy-ass rice that comes in a carton from the Chinese restaurants and tastes similar to the carton and is nothing but a rectangular block of crapstarch), and sweet and sour pork, just because I happened to have some frozen pork loins I bought months ago for $1.99/pound and I've been saving them for an opportunity such as this, to edumacate you.

I believe you mentioned a wok, stock, and possibly vegetables, so I gather you have a passing idea of what we can do here.  No real measuring needs to be done.  I think you might can do this on the fly.

Usually I give a step-by-step tutorial, but with you, I'm assuming you have some active brain cells and can pull this together.
 At least I hope so.
 
FYI, here's what we're aiming for:
 
 
So let's start, shall we?

Here are my two pork loins frozen together, along with various vegetables in the background I'll be using, plus that nasty carton of take-out rice, which I will try my best to redeem.

 The loins were about one inch thick,1 1/2 inches wide, and 3-4 inches long, give or take.
 
 
 Here's my hand for comparison.
 
 The best way to slice meat is to have it slightly frozen. 
Cut across the grain.
And make slices about 1/4 inch thick. And maybe 1/2 inch wide.
Drop the pork slices into your batter.
 
Pork Batter:
 You don't need measuring cups.  Eyeball it.
But, if you WERE using measuring cups, here's what I'd measure:
1/2 cup flour
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/2 cup milk
1 egg
1/2 tsp kosher salt 
2 TB sherry
Mix it all together until smooth and drop in the pork slices.  Let 'em take a little bath while you start on the craprice (just some doctoring involved), the vegetables (stir fry!), and the sweet and sour sauce (no-brainer).

  
 
 And here's the box of craprice.
I dumped it in a small pot, added copious amounts of water,or if you want to get fancy, you could add broth, or even orange juice would be delightful here, then salt it like you're putting a lick out for cows.  This rice had NO taste to it.  Heat it up, stir it, then plop in lots of butter. I use unsalted butter since I've already salted the rice TO TASTE.  When it tastes right, cover it and set aside.

Next, I made the sweet and sour sauce.  And sorry, no pics, since I actually made this yesterday and wasn't planning on blogging about it, but since you INSISTED...

Sweet and Sour Sauce
Have your mise-en-place ready.  That means get your shit together.  You don't want to be having a pan smokin' hot and then all of a sudden you go, "Where is that damn eye of newt?"  "Where is that uvula of orangutang?"  "Where did I stash those illegal ortolans when I was sure Fish and Wildlife were dropping by?"  You get the picture.
 
Soooo, have ready:
A small sauce pan,
tablespoon of oil
about 3 cubes of ginger *
4 cloves of garlic
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup sugar
2 TB soy sauce
1 cup soup stock (I used beef broth) mixed with 2 TB cornstarch.
1 small can pineapple chunks with juice

* About that ginger.  I buy whole ginger root, cut it into cubes, then freeze it.  You'll want to use both the ginger pulp and the juice here.  I have found you cannot get juice out of fresh ginger, however once it's frozen, you can nuke the cubes for maybe 20 seconds, then run it through a garlic press, and the juice comes right out.  Mince the pulp.  Also run the garlic through the press and put it in with the ginger juice and pulp.

Now, lets make the sweet and sour sauce:
Small sauce pan.
Heat a tablespoon of oil in it. Medium low heat.  Pour in the ginger juice, pulp, and garlic, stirring.  Be careful not to burn garlic.  It gets bitter.  Add in sugar and vinegar and soy.  Stir constantly.  Now here's a little trick you may want to try:  Stir in some sweet relish, maybe 2-3 teaspoons. Gives it a little oomph.  Next stir cornstarch in beef stock really well and slowly pour that into the pot, stirring and thickening.  Pour in some of the pineapple juice and some of the chunks.  Save rest of chunks for vegetable stir fry.
When thickened, cover and set aside.
 
The rice and the sweet sour sauce can sit patiently.

Lets do the vegetables next, then the meat last.

 
Vegetables for Stir Fry
broccoli florets
baby carrots cut into matchsticks (that's julienned)
chopped onion
minced garlic (4-5 cloves)
red bell pepper
Heat a medium skillet over medium high heat.  Add a TB oil, let it get hot, then add carrots.  I like to sprinkle a little sugar and salt over the carrots.  Sugar helps in caramelization. 
 After a minute of STIR/frying, add in the broccoli, onions, pepper, and garlic. Throw in any pineapple chunks you might have.  And another nice addition would be a can of chopped water chestnuts.  Gives it a nice crunch.  Cook and stir about a minute to coat and slightly thicken.  You want it UNDERcooked.  Transfer to a bowl and set a lid over top. It'll keep on steaming and cooking, so that's why you want it all undercooked.
 
Now for the battered pork:
Heavy skillet.  About 1/2 inch oil. Let it get hot.  400°.  Tong in pork strips, one at a time, letting excess batter drip off, six strips tops at a time.  You do NOT want to lower the temp of the oil.  You want to maintain it for a crisp fry.  This is the mistake virgin fryers make.  They add too much protein to the skillet which drastically reduces the temperature and gives you a soggy, greasy, disappointing fry. Cook about one minute on each side, until golden brown, then lift out and place on drain.  Continue frying in batches until done.
 
Serve stir fry vegetables on a bed of not-so-disappointing-rice now, with crisp fried pork tenders, and  sauce over top or on the side.
 
TA DA!








 
Bon appétit!











Monday, January 6, 2025

Rosie's Making Rice Rolls.


 

 I was in the mood for something light, yet filling - a semi-substantial meal.  Typically I turn to Asian cuisine for inspiration for such a meal and that's how I came up with the rice rolls.  I started to call these "spring" rolls, then I started researching the subject (i.e. Googling) and found out that in the pantheon of Asian rolls, we have, among others, three basic rolls – spring rolls, egg rolls, and summer rolls. And they're all different animals.

According to my Googling, spring rolls originated in China and were served at Chinese New Year banquets.  They were called spring rolls because the Chinese New Year is also known as the Lunar New Year or Spring Festival and marks the end of winter and the beginning of spring, representing the desire for a new life.  Well, I think we can all relate to that.  Spring rolls have a paper-thin wrapper made from flour and water.  They're filled with whatever combination of pork, shrimp, cabbage, and bean sprouts, and then they're fried.  The wrapper crumbles and shatters into flakes easily when eaten.

 This is different from an egg roll, which is an Americanized variant of the Chinese spring roll.  An egg roll has an egg in the wrapper batter, resulting in a thicker batter.  It's still fried, so you have a blistered and bumpy skin, whereas the spring rolls, although fried, are smooth.

Now, if you're still with me, a summer roll has a translucent wrapper and is not fried.  It's served room temperature or cold and goes by such names as Vietnamese spring rolls, fresh spring rolls, or salad rolls.  The wrapper is rice-paper and they're based on the Chinese spring roll but were taken by Chinese immigrants to Vietnam, Thailand, Laos, and the Philippines. Ingredients varied due to local climates and existing culinary traditions, so the summer roll is a lighter, fresher offering.

That said, let's make some (summer) rolls.  I'm not calling my rolls Vietnamese, because that would probably be offensive to the culture, and I don't want to start off my year being offensive to any one particular culture.  I prefer to be pan-offensive, so, for now, I'll just try to keep my rolls culture- and gender-free.  I'll just call them Rosie's Rice Rolls, if only for alliterative purposes.  Whatever you call them, I think you'll enjoy them.

 
 
 Rosie's Rice Rolls
 
Makes about 12 rolls.
 
1 package of rice paper
 
For the filling:
1 cup cooked white rice*
1 lb. ground pork
4 TB soy sauce or tamari sauce**
1 shallot, minced
2 garlic cloves, finely minced or pressed
4 baby carrots, julienned***
1 large radish, julienned
6 scallions, thinly sliced
butter lettuce leaves****
 basil leaves, chiffonaded*****

  
 For the pork:
In a medium bowl, combine the pork with the soy or tamari sauce.  I mixed by hand until well-combined.
In a medium skillet, heat 1 neutral-flavored oil until shimmering hot, then add shallots and pinch of kosher salt.  Cook, stirring, until light brown, 3-4 minutes.  Add in minced garlic and cook about 30 seconds.  Transfer to bowl.
Add another tablespoon of oil to the skillet, let it get hot, then add the pork mixture, breaking it up with a wooden spatula, until brownish.  Add in the rice and stir until evenly incorporated.  Transfer to bowl with shallots and garlic and let cool to room temperature.  Stir in scallions.
 
*For the rice, I used 1/3 cup uncooked basmati rice, poured it into 1 cup salted water, brought it to a boil, reduced heat, covered it, and cooked 15-20 minutes, until water was absorbed, then added in a plunk of unsalted butter.  You could use jasmine rice, if you like.  Both are long-grain aromatic white rices  Basmati has a nutty flavor, whereas jasmine is slightly sweeter and has a floral fragrance.

** Both soy sauce and tamari are fermented soybean products, but tamari is generally made without wheat, so if you want a gluten-free option, there it is.  Typically, soy sauce is thinner and saltier with a sharper flavor and a bit of a bite whereas tamari sauce has a longer fermentation process, resulting in a thicker sauce with a smoother taste and a richer, deeper umami flavor.

*** Julienne is a French cutting technique in which the food is cut into very thin, even strips, like matchsticks.  I cut the carrots and radishes into thin planks and uniformly stack them, then cut into matchsticks.

  **** Butter lettuce is also known as Bibb or Boston lettuce.  This is a soft, leafy, tender green which pairs well with crunchy ingredients and, because of its delicacy, lends itself nicely to wraps. You'll find butter lettuce usually encased in a plastic dome with the roots still attached, which keeps the head fresh longer.

***** Chiffonade is a another cutting technique where you stack your fresh basil leaves on top of each other, roll them up tightly lengthwise, then slice crosswise, cutting the leaves into very thin strips or ribbons.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Dipping Sauce for Rice Rolls:
juice of two limes
zest of one lime
1 garlic clove, finely minced or pressed
1 serrano chili, pith and seeds removed, minced
1 tsp sugar
1 TB soy sauce or Tamari sauce
1 scallion, sliced
Combine all ingredients, whisking until sugar dissolves.
Cover and refrigerate until ready to use.
 
Optional: minced ginger with its juice.  I buy whole ginger root, cut it into 1-inch cubes, and freeze it.  That way, I always have ginger on hand.  Also, freezing ginger is the best way to get the juice out of it.   I take the frozen knobs, nuke them for 15-20 seconds, then simply squeeze the juice out and it comes out readily and abundantly.  Use 1-2 knobs of ginger for this sauce, or to taste.
 
 Assembling the rolls:
Set a lightly oiled baking sheet nearby to place the assembled rolls on.
Fill a wide, shallow dish with warm water.  Soak one rice paper wrapper in the water until it just starts to soften, about 10 seconds. (If you leave it in the water too long, the wrapper will disintegrate.)  Lay the softened paper on a cutting board and place a lettuce leaf or two along the bottom third.  Place julienned carrots and radishes on leaf, then the pork mixture.  Top with chiffonade of basil. Fold lower portion of wrapper up over the filling, then continue rolling, tucking in the sides, to create a tight bundle.  Set on oiled sheet and cover with plastic wrap. Repeat with remaining ingredients until the pork mixture is used up.  Serve now, or let sit at room temperature, covered, for up to 2 hours. To serve, slice each roll into fourths and accompany with dipping sauce.  
 
If you're serving these rolls for a crowd, it's always fun to make a do-it-yourself spread.  Lay out all the ingredients and let everyone assemble their own.  This can be quite entertaining as you observe the range of your guests' rolling skills - from the totally inept (I'm looking at you Rhymes-With- Schmarilyn.  Yes, I've seen your pathetic attempts at the cooking classes at the NC aquarium.) to those whose muscle memory from a misspent youth suddenly kicks in and they're rolling like Snoop Dog (although I think Snoop actually has someone on the payroll whose job it is, forsooth, to roll his blunts.
 
Toppings:
 Chopped parsley or cilantro
 Red pepper (sweet bell or hot), diced
 Toasted sesame seeds
 Sliced scallions and/or curled scallion strips  (Use mostly the white parts down to the bulb for slicing, the top greener parts for curling.)
 
 
For the toppings, sprinkle chopped parsley or cilantro, small slices of red peppers,  toasted sesame seeds, and sliced scallions.  For a nice little flourish, you might want to make curled scallion strips also.  This is a technique that can come in handy when you want to add a bit of a decorative and tasty accent to your plate.  Using mostly the green part of the scallion, cut it into very thin strips lengthwise.  Submerge the strips in ice cold water.  The chill causes the fibers in the onion to contract and the strips curl up.  Takes about 7 minutes.

 Curling your scallion strips.


 Look in the Asian section of your supermarket for the rice rolls.






Sauce ingredients ready.


On white plate:  shallot and garlic.

On cutting board: julienned carrots and radishes, sliced scallion.




Mix pork and soy sauce by hand.


Saute shallots and add in garlic.


Transfer to bowl.





Hot skillet with a little oil.
Brown the pork.
Mix in the rice.
Add in the shallots and garlic.


Stir in the scallions.

Rolls ready for assembly:
pork
butter lettuce
carrots
radishes
basil


Soften the rice roll wrappers in warm water.








Place lettuce leaf, carrot and radish matchsticks on bottom of wrapper.






 
 
 

Spoon on pork and rice mixture.

Add basil.


And commence to rollin'.

Some people are just naturally better at it than others, but as I have found, practice makes perfect.

Lay finished rolls on lightly oil baking sheet.  Serve immediately or cover and let sit at room temperature for up to 2 hours or so.

















Go for the additional toppings.


Spruce it up!





ENJOY!