Saturday, December 31, 2011

Stop The Insanity!

Thank you to Ever Vigilant Marilyn of FoodiesUntie blogdom, for sending me this gem.
Guy Fieri now has his own kewl bling line, called Douches R Us. Notice the headline on the kewl bling link above:

Guy Fieri Jewelry Line Makes Us Question His Taste

No, honey. I've been questioning Guy's tastes long before this crap entered the picture. Witness: Sunglasses worn on back of head. Board shorts 365/24/7. Spiked, bleached hair. Tats. Changing his name from Ferry to Fieri, then Giadaizing his pronunciation of his NOT-name by saying Fee-et-tee. Total overall douchiness. So much more. Tacky bracelet, dog tag, and cuff links. For men. If a man wears any jewelry other than a wedding band, I am suspect. If any man came at me wearing this crap, I'd run hard and fast. "This stuff is off-da-hook. It's some killer bling."
_Guy_ I've never felt this way about anybody before, but I have a visceral hatred for this man.

Happy New Year's Eve.

Happy New Year's Eve to all. If you're driving tonight, please stay safe. If you're not driving, please stay safe. Don't fall off the couch.

Please Check Out My Column In OBV.

I hope you enjoy my New Year's column for the Outer Banks Voice.

Friday, December 30, 2011

I Love My Readers.

Back in March 2010, I experienced my first Kimmelweck rolls at the Outer Banks Taste of the Beach. I knew right then and there that I would have to make these little gems. And I did. Rosie's Kimmelweck Rolls. Oh my. Check out my Beef on Weck. Tonight, almost two years later, I received a comment on the Kimmelweck post from the Great Great Grand Niece of William Wahr, the German baker who brought the Kimmelweck to Buffalo. debcafferty has left a new comment on your post "Rosie Makes Kimmelweck Rolls.": William Wahr is my Great Great Grand Uncle!!!! No kidding. He immigrated from Germany in 1882. His sister, Eva married my Great Great Grandfather, Frederick J. Schraft. The recipe was lost through the generations but I will be trying this one!!! Debra Cafferty Buffalo, New York I thank you Debra Cafferty of Buffalo, New York for responding. I hope I did your Great Great Grand Uncle proud.

New Year's Day Good Luck Dip.

Food is forefront in the celebration of any holiday and, traditionally, certain foods are prepared for New Year's Day to bring health, prosperity, and luck. I'm all for starting the New Year on the best possible footing, so I'm picking me some collard greens out of the garden, for wealth, and cooking some black eyed peas, for luck. Corn tortilla chips will serve in place of corn bread for health. I've been eating a ton of greens lately, so I wanted something different from the traditional cooked down greens. I'm combining Southern Comfort with Tex Mex and dishing up an herbal, earthy, smoky, and spicy Good Luck Dip to serve on New Year's Day. I adapted this recipe from Homesick Texan's New Year's Day Queso Compuesto,
New Year’s Good Luck Dip

1 cup cooked black eyed peas 1 cup collard greens, cooked and chopped 8 oz. sausage along with about 2 oz. chorizo, cooked 2-3 TB red wine 3 jalapeños, roasted and minced ½ onion, chopped 4 oz cream cheese, cubed 2 cups Monterey Jack cheese, grated 1/4 cup heavy cream lime juice cilantro

Rinse beans, add to salted water, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, and let simmer, skimming any scum that forms on the top. After about 20 minutes, rinse beans, refresh water, and cook until tender. Check in 10 to 20 minutes. Rinse beans.

Rinse collards and put in a pot with about ½ inch of water and a piece or two of salt pork. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, and barely simmer until tender. Check in an hour. Mince.

Fry the sausage in an oven-proof skillet, breaking into small bits. Add in chopped onion and cook until sausage is done. Drain off excess grease. Turn heat to high and add red wine to deglaze the pan. Remove from heat. Deglazing means adding a liquid to the pan after you’ve cooked a meat so as to release all the goody bits stuck to the bottom of the pan. It adds extra flavor to whatever you’re cooking.

Slice jalapeños in half and remove ribs and seeds. The heat is in the ribs and seeds, so if you like it hot, keep them in. Stick skewers through the peppers and roast over a flame to char, or you can put them under a broiler, skin side up. Mince.

Heat oven to 375°. Stir the black eyed peas, collards, and jalapeños into the sausage. Top evenly with the cubed cream cheese and grated Monterey Jack. Pour the heavy cream over top and bake, uncovered, 15-20 minutes, or until cheese is bubbling.

Stir in a little lime juice and sprinkle with chopped cilantro. Serve with tortilla chips.

Mr. Hawthorne soaked the black eyed peas overnight, but I've never bothered with that.
I went out in the garden and picked collards, along with a mess of other greens. Yes, all those greens will fit in that little pot. Greens cook down like spinach.
Mr. Hawthorne tucked a few pieces of salt pork in between the greens, covered, and cooked them down.
An hour to an hour and a half. Taste test. You want them nice and tender.
Mince your greens.
I sliced my jalapeños, ribbed and seeded them.
Skewer and char over an open flame or under the broiler.
Generally, I go with whatever I have in the freezer or fridge. I found 8 ounces of Jamestown Hot Sausage and a small package of chorizo.
While I was cooking the sausage ...
... I chopped my onion and ...
... added it to the sausage. Be sure to break up the chunks of sausage.
These are the goody bits of which I speak.
Turn heat up and add in the wine to deglaze, scraping up the goody bits.
Add in collards.
Add in black eyed peas.
Roasted jalapeños in.
Cube the cream cheese.
Dot evenly with cubed cream cheese.
Sprinkle on grated Monterey Jack.
Pour heavy cream over top. Bake at 375° for about 20 minutes.
You want the cheese to be nice and bubbly. I stirred in a bit of lime juice for bit of a tang.
Sprinkle with cilantro and serve with chips.
I happen to like collards. I like black eyed peas. I know a lot of people who intensely dislike greens. I'm betting that the Greens-Haters, and you know who you are, EAM, not to mention any names, would enjoy this dip, especially if they didn't know greens were involved. It's a nice hearty appetizer dip. Once people start digging into it, it is not the most attractive of dishes, but it can be easily prettified. Just spoon it into another ramekin, add more cheese on top, and give it a run under the broiler. Perhaps annoy the collards and black eyed peas with some grated lime zest, sour cream or creme fraiche, chopped red onion, and more cilantro. Parsley if you prefer.
The Hawthornes wish you all a healthy and prosperous 2012. You Mayans out there, do as you please.

What People Google And How They End Up On My Blog.

I do not make this stuff up, so don't shoot the messenger. It's always interesting to find out how people get to my blog. I have a Feedjit Live Traffic Feed on the right hand side of my blog and it allows me to see when people visit my blog and how people find my blog - whether they come in directly by typing in or if they Google a particular search item and find themselves able to link to my blog. On my blog, you can scroll way down to Live Traffic Feed on the right, click on Real Time View at the bottom of the feed, and see who's coming from where and how. Sometimes Googlers will simply Google seemingly innocuous things, and pick me out of the list that Google provides. I get a lot of hits from people Googling stuff like crab slough oysters, galumpkis, Julia Child's Gateau of Crepes, Julia Child's English Muffins, Kimmelweck rolls, vegetable gateau, kick ass onion soup, blackened mahi mahi, savory calzones, how to clean soft shell crabs, penis bread, Parmesan crisps, Giada de Laurentiis boobs. Try Googling any of the above and see if I don't have a presence. And the one thing that I got over 6000 hits in ONE DAY for and still get hits for Every.Single.Day. : the Nancy Grace nip slip. Nancy Grace busted. Here it is so you don't have to go look it up. Sometimes, people are a bit more explicit in what they Google. To wit: (These entries were taken from my Feedjit Live Traffic Feed.)
Watching for visitors
Arrival or Departure Country Browser OS Website Long description Current time: 16:14:26 GMT-0500 (Eastern Standard Time)
16:13:22 -- 1 minute ago
15:57:38 -- 10 minutes ago
07:18:16 -- 4 hours 28 mins ago
08:30:46 -- 4 hours 38 mins ago
Nagu, Western Finland arrived from on "Kitchens Are Monkey Business: Giada Boobage Update." by searching for miss molly pornstar.
07:34:47 -- 5 hours 34 mins ago
Now that I know what people are looking for and see how they get to my blog that way, you'll be sure to have more of these gems coming your way.