The Squeaky Wheel Gets What It Wants.

 

 

I have a trio of sweet delights for you today.

 

 The squeaky wheel has been squeaking for some time now and it's gotten to the point where I had to grease it to make it shut up.  Unable to forage and fend for himself lately, Mr. Hawthorne has been whining for Rice Krispy Treats and Granola Bars.  He used to make them all the time, but, because of circumstances, he's had to stay OUT of MY kitchen for the time being.  But he wouldn't shut up about the sweet treats he wanted.  I finally broke down and made the dang things for him.  Plus I threw in a bonus - blueberry muffins.  And I have to say, mine, of course, were better than his.  He's scowling, so I think that means he agrees.

Let's start with the Rice Krispie Treats.

 

Rice Krispie Treats

I kinda went with the original recipe, and then I didn't.  Because that's just how Rosie does things.

5-6 TB  unsalted butter

1 10-oz package mini-marshmallows 

6 cups rice krispies cereal (I used Food Lion Crispy Rice cereal cause it's cheaper and because they spell it correctly.)

kosher salt to taste (maybe 1/2 tsp)

 

And my secret ingredient that's not so secret because you can plainly see it in the mix -

Chopped up pretzels (Maybe 2-3 cups.)  I like sweet and salty.  And you can experiment with the amount of pretzels you throw in.

 

Melt butter in medium sauce pan over low heat.  Add in marshmallows and stir constantly until marshmallows are melted. Add the salt.  (I gave you some wiggle room with the butter because of extra items you might find to add to the basic rice krispie/marshmallow scenario.)

 

Have cereal and pretzels in a large bowl and pour the butter/marshmallow mixture over it all, scraping and turning with a spatula until everything is coated and combined.  You need to go rather quickly with this as the marshmallow glop will get stubborn to deal with. Press evenly into a buttered 9 x 13-inch  pan.  I put plastic wrap over top, then use a mini-rolling pin to press down and compact the mixture and I use an offset spatula to press along the edges.  Let mixture cool, then cut into small squares.

 

These are from the first batch I made, before I thought to put the pretzels in there.

 And these are from the second batch.  With crushed up pretzels.  YUMMY!

Hmmm...  Just thinking out loud here.  Now here's a what if:  What if --- you folded in a handful or two of white chocolate chips right before you spread the mix into the pan?  They'd just melt slightly, but still kinda hold their shape.  Yep.  Think I gotta try that next time.

 ETA:  Yup.  I was right!

 Those white chips are tyro-rrific.

 

 

Up next - GRANOLA!

 

Rosie's Granola

1/2 cup almonds

1/2 cup pecans

1/2 cup walnuts

1/2 cup dried cranberries

2 cups coconut

1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar

1 cup packed light brown sugar

3 cups quick cooking oatmeal

Combine all ingredients very well.

1/3 cup light corn syrup

1/4 cup honey

3 TB molasses

1/3 cup coconut oil

2 TB vanilla

1 tsp kosher salt

In a small sauce pan, combine corn syrup, honey, and molasses.  Bring to a simmer and cook about 2 minutes.  Remove from heat and stir in coconut oil, vanilla, and salt.  Let cool a bit.

Slowly pour syrup into dry ingredients, stirring to coat evenly.  Take your time here, because you want that syrup distributed throughout the oats and nuts.

Line a 10 x 13 inch pan with parchment paper and heat oven to 325°.

Press granola mixture evenly into pan.

 I use an offset spatula to press around the corners, then I cover the mixture with plastic wrap and use a mini rolling pin up and down and back and forth to press and even out the mixture.

Bake in a 325° oven for 35-40 minutes total.  Every 10 minutes or so, rotate the pan and press down the granola mixture with your rolling pin.

When it's golden, remove from oven and let cool a bit.  Lift parchment and granola out of pan and slice into bars.

   

Rosie Note:  Sometimes, in spite of our best intentions and worst distractions, we leave things in the oven a minute or two longer than we should. Not that that's ever happened to me. Should this happen to you when making granola, your granola won't be burned, but it will be rock-like and could possibly inflict dental damage.  NOT TO WORRY!  What you do, is take all those granola squares, put them in a zip-lock bag along with some slices of apple.  Wait a couple of hours and your granola will be toothsome and delightfully delicious with a subtle apple flavor imparted to them.

 

Lastly, Rosie made Blueberry Muffins because Food Lion had blueberries on sale and they were actively growing mold on the drive home from Nags Head Food Lion to Colington. I hate it when that happens.  Usually, it's a race to get the strawberries home before they turn on me.  But I digest.

 

 

 

 

Rosie's Blueberry Muffins 

 2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder
1 stick unsalted butter, softened
1 1/4 cups sugar
2 eggs, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup buttermilk

1 pint fresh blueberries, stemmed, rinsed, and dried

Crumb Topping

4 TB unsalted butter, softened

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup flour
2 tsp cinnamon

zest of one lemon

With a fork or pastry blender,

combine all ingredients until crumbly.

I  used lemon zest since lemons and blueberries

seem to be made for each other,

but you could use orange zest

or a combination thereof.

Either one.

I like the citrus spark.

For the muffins:

Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt.

Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy.

Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition.

Add vanilla.

Add flour mixture alternatively with buttermilk,

starting and ending with dry ingredients

beating until well-combined.

Fold in blueberries.

Line a 12-cup muffin tin with liners

and fill each evenly with batter.

Top with crumb mixture.

Bake in a 375° oven for about 30 minutes,

or until tester comes out clean.

Remove from pan and let cool about 30 minutes.

 

 

Enjoy.

 

 

Happy Pi(stachio) Day!

Rosie has a column due for the Outer Banks Voice.

What to do?  What to do? 

Welcome to the mind of Rosie...

Every March. I present a pie in honor of Pi Day, which is on 3/14. This year is no exception, although I find myself writing the column before I’ve even conjured up the pie in my mind, much less physically baked the pie.  Somehow, there’s a plan.  Lurking.  And I’m trying to entice it out of my brain into tangibility. Into reality.  And into edibility.  And I can’t begin to imagine the photographability yet. 

That said, I’m letting loose the dam in my brain, sitting back, and watching what washes by.  And here’s what I’m seeing.  I see chocolate first.  And that chocolate leads me to the chocolate oreo crust for the pie.  And somewhere back in my brain, I’m thinking, “Golly, St. Patrick’s Day is somewhere up ahead,” so then the color Green pops out.  And I’m pondering, “OH, Nuts! How am I going to make it green?”  And all of a sudden, all these pistachios start swimming by in my stream of consciousness and I have part of my answer.  Next, do I make a pistachio custard or a pistachio pudding for my pie filling?  Well, being the multitasking, hyper-achieving, angst-ridden being that I am, I decide to do both.  And there you have my convoluted mental process leading to my Pie for Pi Day.  It’s an Oreo-based crust with a pistachio custard first layer (which are baked together) and a pistachio pudding filling (which is just spooned on) for the second layer. 

Before I start, let’s differentiate between custards and puddings.  A custard, by definition, contains egg yolks to thicken it. It has a heavier, richer, firmer, and denser texture than pudding. And custard needs to be cooked, generally in a double boiler or water bath, to keep the eggs from curdling. Pudding, on the other hand, uses a starch like flour or cornstarch for its thickening agent, resulting in a slightly looser texture and a more gelatinous consistency.  And a pudding is not as fussy as a delicate custard.  It can be cooked and thickened over the stovetop without having to worry about egg proteins coagulating as they might in a custard, ending up with scrambled eggs.

Here’s the process:

Make the Oreo crust, which needs a bit of cooking, which you’ll do concurrently with the custard.

Make the Pistachio Custard and pour it into the unbaked crust.

Bake the custard and crust.

Let cool.

Make the Pistachio Pudding and spoon it over top of the Pistachio Custard.

Refrigerate.

Decorate.

 Before I start, let me emphasize the beauty of this.  I’m starting out with a deep-dish pie dish and I’m making a super simple crust, then  I’m making both custard and pudding layers.  You, on the other hand, can take a regular pie dish and you can choose:  Crust and Custard?  Or Crust and Pudding?  You have options.  My launch sequence has been set already, so I’m going with Crust, Custard, and Pudding.  And beyond that, I have whipped cream topping lurking somewhere, perhaps something else green for St.Patrick’s day, maybe some chocolate leaves.  It’s totally open for me.

 Enough intro.  Here's the column I wrote for the Outer Banks Voice:

 

Celebrate π Day With πstachios

 

Every March, I offer a pie recipe in honor of π Day, March 14, or 3/14.  My contribution this month is a twofer – I’m making Pistachio Pie using both pistachio custard and pistachio pudding.   I’ll be starting with a chocolate and mint crust, then adding pistachio custard and baking the pie.  It’s perfectly fine if you want to stop here and just serve the custard pie as is, but I’m taking it one step further.  I’m adding a second layer of pistachio pudding on top.  Then I’ll decorate with some whipped cream and crushed pistachios and call it a day.

 

 For the crust:

 1 package chocolate mint Oreos (36 cookies)

1 stick unsalted butter

Process Oreos until fine crumbs, then pour in melted butter.  Pulse several times to combine.  Press crumbs firmly into a deep pie dish, using a spoon to press where the bottom and sides meet so when you slice it the side crust doesn’t separate from the bottom.

 

 Pistachio Custard

 Heat oven to 350° while you prepare the custard.

1 cup lightly salted roasted pistachios

½ cup sugar

4 oz. cream cheese, softened

4 oz. ricotta

½ cup sugar

4 eggs

¾ cup 2% milk

¼ cup cream

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp almond extract

 Process the pistachios and ½ cup sugar until you get a fine crumb.

In another bowl, beat the cream cheese, ricotta, and remaining ½ cup sugar until smooth.  Add eggs, one at a time, beating and mixing well after each addition.  Slowly beat in the milk and cream until well-combined.  Stir in the extracts.  Whisk in the ground pistachio/sugar mixture.

      
Rosie Notes: 

1)      If all you have is an 8 oz. stick of cream cheese, you can use that and leave out the ricotta.  You don’t need to buy ricotta specially for this recipe. I only had ½ stick of cream cheese so I subbed ricotta, which I already had, for the rest.

2)      You could use whole milk instead of the 2% and the cream.  I just never have whole milk on hand, but I always have either skim, 1%, or 2% and cream, so I used a combination of 2% with cream. 

 Pour custard filling into Oreo crust.  Bake at 350° about 55-60 minutes, covering the edges with foil about halfway through baking.  Custard may be a little jiggly in the center, but will firm up as it cools.

Cool completely, about 2 hours.  Then refrigerate for at least 2 hours.

 

 Now, if you’d like to call it quits here, you certainly can, but I would decorate with whipped cream, crushed pistachios, and perhaps some chocolate curls for good measure.

 If you’re still up for more, I’d recommend the pistachio pudding to spoon over top.  The pudding uses pistachio butter which gives it an intense earthy and nutty flavor.  You’ll end up with two layers when you slice the pie.  When it comes to desserts, I live by the philosophy “More is more.”

 

 Pistachio Pudding

 1 cup pistachio butter

¾ cup sugar

3 TB cornstarch

½ tsp kosher salt

3 eggs

3 cups whole milk 

 2 TB unsalted butter

1 tsp almond extract

 Rosie Note:  As with the custard, I used a combination of 2% milk and cream for the whole milk.  In this case 2 cups 2% milk and 1 cup cream.  Again, I opt for more fat. 

 Make the pistachio butter:

  I shelled a one-pound bag of raw, lightly salted pistachios.  This yielded about 2 cups of nuts which processed down to about 1 cup of pistachio butter.  Pour the nuts into a mini-processor and blend on high speed.  First, process to a fine powder and use a spatula to scrape down the sides.  Continue processing until the pistachios start to clump together and keep scraping every now and then.  Eventually, after enough processing, the pistachios will release their oil and turn into a creamy paste.  Be patient.  This takes about ten minutes or more of processing, depending on the strength of your processor.

In a medium size pot, whisk together sugar, cornstarch, and salt.  Whisk in eggs, milk, and pistachio butter until fully combined.  Cook mixture over medium heat, whisking constantly, until mixture has thickened and large bubbles are plopping up, about 6-7 minutes.  Remove from heat. 

 Optional step at this point:   If you like, you can strain the pudding through a fine-mesh strainer to leave behind any pieces of nut and get a creamy smooth pudding.  I happen to like the bits of nuts, so I didn’t bother to strain.  Plus, I’m lazy.

 Stir in the butter and almond extract.

 Pour the pudding over top of the custard filling and wrap with plastic to prevent skin from forming.  Chill at least 4 hours.

 Rosie’s Riffs: 

This pudding recipe would make a fine pie on its own.  Simply pour it into an already baked pie crust, refrigerate until set, then decorate with whipped cream, pistachios, and chocolate.  You could use crumbled Oreos or perhaps make chocolate curls or shavings with a vegetable peeler, or sprinkle on grated dark chocolate.  Lots of possibilities here.

You could also use the pudding to make a pistachio pudding trifle.  Using a clear glass deep bowl so you can see the distinct layers of this dessert, layer cubes of angel food cake or pound cake with pudding and whipped cream.  Tuck in additional whole pistachios, cherries, and chocolate crumbs for accents.

 Happy π Day.

 Enjoy.