Ticky Visits!

Ticky is coming to visit today, so I'm trying to prepare foods I think she would like. I know she likes shrimp, and my shrimp spring rolls yesterday were so good, I decided to make them again.

Top left, are Mr. Hawthorne's carrots from his mini-mandoline. Bottom left, are my carrots, carefully and thoughtfully julienned by my own little hands. Mr. Hawthorne probably did his carrots in 10 seconds. Me? Probably 10 minutes.

But mine taste better.

Top right is cucumber. Bottom right is celery.

In the middle is shrimp. In the little bowl at top right is faux crab. Well, actually it has some king crab in it along with pollock. Top middle is bibb lettuce.

Bibb lettuce, with carrots, cucumbers, celery, shrimp, and faux crab. Roll up in the tapioca sheets. By the way, when you're softening the sheets in water, only do one sheet at a time, and watch it. It will disintegrate if you leave it in there too long. Just do one roll/sheet at a time.

And here are my llllllovely, llllllittle ssssspring rollllls. OK, I'm sooo trying not to be 12 here.

So lllllet's just move on to the horizontal view.

Shrimp spring rolls are done. Refrigerate. Next up, barbecue sauce.

I sauteed garlic and onions.

Added brown sugar.

Cider vinegar goes in.

Some of Mr. Hawthorne's sourwood honey.

Worcestershire sauce.

I had some tamarind barbecue sauce leftover from the coconut salmon and added that.

Ketchup.

Dark corn syrup.

Molasses.

Mustard.

Mr. Hawthorne slathers the sauce over the baby back ribs.

And I cooked the barbecue sauce down until nice and thick.

Now, it's time for cole slaw.

I have cabbage, celery, carrot, and apple. And I really like the halo effect around the carrot and celery.

I sliced the cabbage, chopped the celery, grated the carrot, and sliced the apple.

Add in a couple glops of mayo, salt and pepper, then some sugar.

Add in some cider vinegar.

Then, I had the great idea of adding RAISINS. Everything is ready for Ticky's arrival. I'm getting excited. At 3 o'clock, Ticky called and said she'd be here in an hour. "Great," I said, "That gives me just enough time for my tablescape!" Heh Heh.

Ta DAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! And what a tablescape it is. Let's take a closer look, shall we?

Of course, a tablescape is not a tablescape without booze. Here, I have a precariously structured construction of miniature booze bottles. A darling party favor - the seed packet. Let's not forget the ambiance of candlelight. And, my precious place setting for Ticky, with a cheery "Happy Birthday!"

Moving on to Rosie's place setting, we have another scented candle, the booze pyramid, another seed packet, and the place card with a "Get Well Soon!" message. (Just in case any Sandyfood was used during dinner.)

Now, Mr. Hawthorne's place setting. Booze, scented candle, seeds, and a heart-felt "I Love You." WHOOT!

As for any true Sandyscape, there's plenty of extra booze available - in whatever form you might want - rubbing alcohol or aigstrax.

When I talked to Ticky last night, I asked her was there anything she didn't like. Yes, shellfish. What do you like? Velveeta and shrimp.

So, for my appetizers, I have a Velveeta, cream cheese, and bacon dip (which was the same I used to stuff my jalapeno poppers with). Ticky took one look and gushed, "Is that VELVEETA?" Yup, just for you, babe. On the right, is my tabboulleh.

Next, I had a taste test for Ticky. French Laundry veal stock. Ruhlman's veal stock. Can you tell the difference? They both look exactly the same. But, she picked veal stock B, on the right. I believe Ticky described it as "velvety." I think I said, a "subtle nuance" that made my tongue "shiver." Whatever, we both picked Ruhlman's. Next, more appetizers.

Here are my spring rolls. And assorted condiments.

And here's dinner: Mr. Hawthorne's corn and bacon, baby back ribs, cole slaw, and barbecue sauce.

This corn and bacon is quite a deliciosity. Try it. This time, I made him add cream. Even better, if possible.

Baby back ribs.

Sweet, tart cole slaw with raisins and apples. Darn, thinking back on it, I wish I had added some walnuts.

My plate. I'm like Ticky. I use a fork and knife to get the meat off the bone. I work for it, then am rewarded by a delicious, ready-to-eat treat. The dark spread at the bottom of the plate is my cooked down BBQ sauce. Bacon/corn on the left. Cole slaw at top. I enjoyed this meal thoroughly. Whilst Ticky went to "powder her nose," Mr. H. and I brought out the hidden birthday cake and lit the candles.

Happy belated birthday, Ticky!

Bitch has got some lungs on her. Three feet away and those candle flames were extinguished in a split second.

Ticky, thanks for visiting! Come back soon.

Salmon Two Ways.

We're having salmon. Neither one of us is particularly fond of salmon, but some friends gave it to us and I'm going to give it a shot.

The first thing you have to do is remove that blood vein.

Mr. H. sliced neatly right behind the bones and removed both the bones and the vein.

Then he carefully felt along the fillet and pulled out the rest of the bones.

And here's my fillet, ready for me to somehow make it taste not like salmon.

Like I said, neither one of us really likes salmon, but when anyone offers us free food, we're going to take it. I cut the salmon into three pieces and I'm going to marinate one piece and cook that later. The other two pieces will be done different ways for our dinner.

First, Mr. Xmaskatie was kind enough to share his recipe with me.

I went out and picked parsley, thyme, cilantro, and fennel.

I placed all the herbs in my Magic Bullet along with some garlic, onion, honey, olive oil, salt and pepper.

Blend away.

This was a really good sauce that I'll be making again to use on something I haven't thought of yet. You should try it. You can taste every ingredient - the freshness and greeness of the herbs, the sweetness of the honey, the bite of the onion and garlic, all combining to produce a happy, aromatic marriage of flavors.

My ingredients: salmon salt & pepper Cajun seasoning herbal blend

Season the fillet with salt, pepper and Cajun seasoning.

Then smear the herbal paste on top.

Bake for 5-10 minutes at 350, then give it a quick broil. Now for my second salmon. Sara, of Sara's Kitchen suggested Coconut Crusted Salmon with Tamarind Barbecue Sauce. Excellent, since I had no idea what to do with the rest of my tamarind and I was looking for suggestions. Thanks again, Sara.

For those of you who don't know what tamarind pods look like, here they are. Should you want to try them, look for them in the Hispanic section of your grocery store.

Inside the pods is a sweet, sticky pulp.

After removing the shell, peel off the stringy fibers.

To make the tamarind extract, I poured 1 cup of boiling water over the tamarind pulp and let it sit, covered, for one hour.

Drain the tamarind mixture, reserving liquid.

Terribly appetizing, isn't it?

Return the pulp back to the pan and pour 1/2 cup boiling water over top.

Stir to combine.

Pour tamarind likker through the sieve.

Press tamarind mixture through sieve, reserving liquid and discarding solids.

Here's the final product - tamarind extract. It's sweet. It's sour. It'll make your mouth turn inside out.

The ingredients for Tamarind Barbecue Sauce: 1 tsp canola oil 1/2 cup chopped shallots 1 TB grated ginger 3 garlic cloves, minced 1 TB tomato paste 1 cup hot water 3 TB tamarind extract 1/2 tsp brown sugar 1/4 tsp ground red pepper 1 TB soy sauce 1/2 tsp dark sesame oil

Here are my chopped shallots, minced garlic, and grated ginger.

Heat canola oil over medium high heat. Add shallots and saute for 2 minutes.

Add ginger and garlic and saute for a minute, stirring constantly.

Add in the tomato paste, stirring constantly for 1 minute.

Add in the water.

Tamarind extract.

Brown sugar.

Red pepper. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Remove from heat and stir in soy sauce.

Finally add in sesame oil. And the barbecue sauce is ready.

Ingredients for the salmon: 3 TB panko 3 TB coconut 1/8 tsp ground turmeric 1/2 tsp kosher salt 1/4 tsp ground coriander 1/4 freshly ground pepper

I mixed all the ingredients together, since I didn't read the recipe that closely. The recipe said to sprinkle the salmon with salt, coriander, and pepper, then dredge in the panko, coconut, and turmeric mixture. I don't think it made any difference.

But I went ahead and seasoned the salmon with the salt, pepper, and coriander.

Then dredged the fillet in the panko mixture.

I sauteed the fillet, skin side up in olive oil and butter for about 2 minutes.

Then I turned the fillet over and placed the pan in a 400 degree oven for about 6 minutes.

Here are both salmon fillets.

My plate. And darn it, I forgot to put the sauce on it.

Ahh. There's the barbecue sauce.

I must say this is a colorful dish. The pink in the background is from just a tad bit of red cabbage Mr. H. put into his coleslaw. After one day, it turns the whole batch pink.

Now, remember. Neither one of us likes salmon, but I liked both dishes. I liked the herbalicious goodness of Mr. Xmaskatie's salmon and I liked the sweet coconut with the tartness of the tamarind sauce on the salmon recipe Sara sent me. When I told Mr. Hawthorne that I was using coconut on the salmon, he was very skeptical. As for Mr. H., he declared both dishes "different." That was pretty much the extent of his comments. Then later, after he'd had time to think and digest, he approached me with one of the stupidest questions a man can ever ask: "Can I just say something without you getting mad at me?" I gave him the look but he continued anyway. Mr. H: "You know how you don't like it when I put A1 on a steak?" R: "Yes. Why would anyone want to crap up a steak with that stuff?" Mr. H: "Well, that's what you've done with the salmon. Just like you tell me the A1 masks the flavor of the steak, the stuff you put on the salmon masks the taste of the salmon." R: "Well, duh. That's the whole point."