Mr. Hawthorne and I took a trip
to the KMart yesterday for a few gardening items.
I know it's September and all
so I was expecting Halloween crap.
But I don't want to see Christmas already!
Is that too damn much to ask?
And the Christmas stuff was in the forefront.
You had to go back several aisles to
find the Halloween stuff.
This is what greeted me when I walked in.
Pastel baby girl pink and baby boy blue ornaments.
Well, maybe that would look good on an Easter tree.
There were the usual bunch of
ugly fake trees ...
... some of which appeared to be decorated
by crack-smoking monkeys.
Ahh .
The wire reindeer with lights.
My neighbors down the street have a set
with the buck, the doe, and two little babies.
I remember driving home one night
with the Hawthornelets
and when we got to the neighbor's reindeer display,
someone had taken the buck and
"adjusted" him so he was mounting the doe.
I said something under my breath about the vulgarity
and it's Christmas, for Christ's sake!
And my children started laughing hysterically.
Imagine a mother's pride
upon finding out her own issue
was responsible for this carnal Christmas display.
Nothing says Christmas
like a couple of penguins in a sailboat ...
... except maybe a lit-up gray hippopotamus
and a lit-up pink pig.
And I guess Santa said screw the reindeer,
I'm flying this year.
Freakin' reindeer unions.
I'll show those little bastards.
Merry Christmas, all!
