Something's Very Wrong Here.

Mr. Hawthorne and I took a trip to the KMart yesterday for a few gardening items. I know it's September and all so I was expecting Halloween crap. But I don't want to see Christmas already! Is that too damn much to ask? And the Christmas stuff was in the forefront. You had to go back several aisles to

find the Halloween stuff.

This is what greeted me when I walked in. Pastel baby girl pink and baby boy blue ornaments. Well, maybe that would look good on an Easter tree.

There were the usual bunch of ugly fake trees ... ... some of which appeared to be decorated by crack-smoking monkeys.

Ahh . The wire reindeer with lights. My neighbors down the street have a set with the buck, the doe, and two little babies. I remember driving home one night with the Hawthornelets and when we got to the neighbor's reindeer display, someone had taken the buck and "adjusted" him so he was mounting the doe. I said something under my breath about the vulgarity and it's Christmas, for Christ's sake! And my children started laughing hysterically. Imagine a mother's pride upon finding out her own issue was responsible for this carnal Christmas display.

Nothing says Christmas like a couple of penguins in a sailboat ...

... except maybe a lit-up gray hippopotamus and a lit-up pink pig. And I guess Santa said screw the reindeer, I'm flying this year. Freakin' reindeer unions. I'll show those little bastards. Merry Christmas, all!