Mr. Hawthorne Makes Fried Green Tomatoes.

Good Neighbor Bobby was here the other night

at the appointed hour for his Canadian Mist and gingerale

and Mr. Hawthorne made fried green tomatoes for him.

Bobby's from way north of the Mason Dixon line

so he's never had fried green tomatoes.

 Mr. Hawthorne picked a green tomato from the garden

and sliced it.

He had a three-bowl setup:

Flour, egg, cornmeal seasoned with freshly ground salt and pepper.

Dredge the tomato slices through the flour, shaking off the excess,

then bathe in the beaten egg,

and lastly give it a rub through the cornmeal.

Peanut oil.

350°.

Fry until golden brown -

maybe about 90 seconds each side.
Until golden brown

Serve with Rosie's delicious Pig Shack Sauce,

her excellent duplication of Boar and Castle Sauce.

The Hawthornes Have Soft Shell Crabs And Mr. Hawthorne Shows You How To Clean The Little Buggers.

The Hawthornes are having soft shells tonight.
 We won't be dining al fresco
 due to all the smoke from the Pains Bay fire.

Soft shell crabs with Rosie's Remoulade
 and Mr. Hawthorne's cole slaw.

Here's our din din for tonight.
 Four little spiders of the sea.

If you check out the apron,
 you'll see this crab is a female, as were the others.
 I ask you to indulge me now.
 I had this draft all ready to hit Publish Post
  and then I saw this video
 on Cooking Channel's Eat Street
  about how NOT to clean a soft shell crab.
 Now, please check out the video
 of Mr. Hawthorne's method of cleaning soft shell crabs.
 Who's crabs would you want to eat?
 I guess the collective answer now is a NOBODY'S!,
 but soft shells properly cleaned and fried
 are a thing of beauty.
 Once again, Rosie asks you to go out on a limb with her.
 She'll hold your hand.
Trust Rosie.

A face only a mother could love ...

... which Mr. Hawthorne promptly cut off.

To dress or clean a crab,

you first cut off the mouth and face behind the eyes,
then peel back and cut off the apron.

Next, Mr. Hawthorne peeled back the soft shell
 and snipped the gills out on each side.

Then he made a slit halfway down the middle of the shell
 and cleaned out some organs.
 This soft shell batch was all female crabs,
 so I think these might be some kind of lady parts.

I also dispose of the yellow gunk, also known as the "green gland," or "mustard," or "tomalley." Contrary to popular belief, this is not fat. It's actually a main component of the crab's digestive system - the hepatopancreas - which acts as both liver and pancreas. It serves to produce digestive enzymes and is also responsible for filtering impurities from the crab's blood. Research has shown that colorless, odorless, and tasteless chemical contaminants such as PCBs, dioxin, and mercury accumulate in the fatty tissues and concentrate in the hepatopancreas and can increase one's chances of developing cancer, having neurological impairments, or miscarrying. Frankly, I don't want to eat that. Many people consider this mustard a delicacy. I do not. It has a strong, bitter, and unpleasant taste, to me.

To fry soft shells,

we set up a 3-step fry station.
 Flour, Old Bay, salt and pepper on the left.
 Egg bath in the middle.
 Two eggs with 2 TB water.
 Equal amounts flour and semolina flour
 with some Cajun seasoning on the right.

Mix well.

Dredge each crab through the flour and Old Bay,
 then the egg, then the semolina mixture.

Carefully place into 350 degree oil.
 Step back.
 Crabs like to spit at you.
 I fry one or two at a time.
 Never crowd your fry pan.
 It lowers the temperature of the oil
and you end up with pale and greasy and oily,
 not beautiful brown and crisp and crunchy.

2 1/2 - 3 minutes.

Drain on newspapers or paper towels.
 Serve with your favorite cole slaw and Rosie's Remoulade.

Ingredients for Rosie's Remoulade:
 1 cup mayo
 2 TB onion, minced
 1 TB celery, minced
 2 garlic cloves, minced
 1 heaping teaspoon capers, minced
 2 TB white vinegar
 2 TB coarse ground mustard
 10 grinds black pepper
 4 grinds sea salt
 1 tsp cayenne
 1 tsp cumin
 fresh cilantro and fresh, green coriander seeds
 If you don't have the fresh, green coriander seeds
 you can substitute a teaspoon of ground coriander,
 but you just won't have that surprising citrus pop
you get from the fresh coriander.
 Mix all ingredients.

Celery and onion going into mayo.

Capers.

Add in salt, pepper, cayenne, and cumin.

This is fresh cilantro and the fresh green coriander seeds picked from my garden.

Add in and mix well.

Rosie must have her lemon.

And don't forget Rosie's Pig Shack Sauce!
 (AKA Boar and Castle Sauce)

Bon appetit!

More Oysters For The Hawthornes.

You know the Hawthornes love their oysters.

One of the nice things about my foot surgery is being waited on, kinda, by Mr. Hawthorne. And Mr. Hawthorne makes the bestest fried oysters.

He served these with a remoulade sauce and Rosie's Pig Shack Sauce, my version of Boar and Castle sauce.

Mr. Hawthorne seasoned his flour with freshly ground salt and pepper.

Then he added in a little fine corn meal.

Here's his fry station. After Mr. Hawthorne shucked the oysters, he left them in their likker until ready to fry. Then he dredged them in the flour mixture, shaking off the excess, and dropped them one by one into the hot oil.

These should fry up in about a minute. If not, then your oil isn't hot enough. If you don't have a thermometer, use a wooden utensil. Stick the end of a wooden fork or spoon into the hot oil and watch for the bubbles. Bubbles should vigorously bubble out of the spoon when the temperature is hot enough.

Drain on paper towels.

Rocquie's cabbage salad was the perfect accompaniment to these oysters.

Tell me you don't want some.

Ouch! Just felt that stab again. Zzzadig? Put the pins away, man.

Mr. Hawthorne Makes Dinner.

Mr. Hawthorne is making dinner tonight. For joy!

Apparently we're having stuffed peppers. Those are sweet, not hot, peppers, and I want to grow them in my garden this summer. They're the perfect size. Mr. Hawthorne sliced off the tops and cleaned out the seeds before stuffing.

Apparently, Mr. Hawthorne is Semi-Ho'ing dinner. Unbeknownst to me, he tossed in a few extra items in the basket while we were at Food Lion - Rice-A-Roni Spanish Rice and a package of shredded Mexican cheese. Usually, I'm on top of things in the supermarket, but somehow these items got past me. I could have whupped up some excellent Spanish rice and I'm perfectly capable of grating my own cheese, thankyouverymuch.

Mr. Hawthorne stuffed the peppers with the rice and cheese, then secured the tops with toothpicks.

Mr. Hawthorne is going to batter and deep fry these babies. At least he didn't Semi-Ho the tempura batter: 3/4 cup cornstarch 3 cups cake flour 2 tsp baking soda 1 tsp Kosher salt Mix 3 parts tempura mix with 2 parts sparkling water. And he used club soda. I'd have to have a side-by-side tasting to tell the difference.

I liked these glass beads on my counter top.

Mr. Hawthorne's fry station - stuffed peppers, tempura batter, hot oil. I'm going to clean the kitchen tomorrow. Really I am. That corner is killing me.

Just a few stuffed peppers at a time. You don't want to crowd the oil and decrease the temperature.

Drain on paper towels.

Fried stuffed peppers and fried sliced pickles.

What? You never had fried pickles? Try 'em!

The squiggle down the center is Rosie's Pig Shack Sauce, her excellent version of Boar and Castle Sauce. On the left is my Mango Habanero Pineapple Salsa. On the top right is Mr. Hawthorne's Tartar Sauce and the bottom right is a delicious Remoulade Sauce. I got the recipe from Mark, the owner of Lucky 12 Tavern in Nags Head.

Perfectly fried. Excellent. Good job, Mr. Hawthorne.