I'm watching
The Next Food Network Star Marathon today.
All episodes.
Just to refresh and reconfirm
my personal and culinary points of view
that I basically hated most all
of the contestants.
My favorites from the first episode
were Jeffrey and Melissa.
And it's down to Melissa and Jeffrey.
Melissa's perkiness and eagerness to please
has bothered me intensely
since Day 1.
And God only knows, if she wins,
how the Food Network
is going to take her personality
and make a caricature out of it.
Plus, I don't like how
she wears her
"I'm a stay-at-home Mom"
badge.
But, given that,
she's poised and
she has learned to turn the frenzy down a notch,
i.e.,
she's very smart
and has listened to Kermit and Medusa
and actually heeded them.
Every suggestion they've given Melissa,
she's grabbed it like a dog with a bone.
She's listening to the FN program
and buying it
and it's working for her.
Jeffrey, I've liked from Day 1.
He's calm.
He's knowledgeable.
He can cook.
He exudes confidence.
Nothing rattles him.
He's unflappable.
And at this point,
after saying all that,
I'm thinking,
"Saronaya, Jeffrey.
Don't let the Food Network Studio's
door hit you in the ass
on your way out."
I would watch him.
But, he's also too "Zen" for the FN.
Tushie actually used the
word Zen when talking about Jeffrey.
Jeffrey hasn't changed from
the way he was at the beginning,
which was a comforting,
engaging, informative,
knowledgeable personae.
He's a wonderful "product"
for Food Network,
but I don't think he'd change from his basic self
and evolve into whatever character
Food Network opts for him to become.
And I can't see Jeffrey
ever wanting to do that.
For that,
I applaud him.
Jeffrey also has a way with words
when describing the flavors in his dishes
and how they interact and play with each other.
And that's really not all that easy to do -
describe tastes and flavors and textures
and smells, and aromas.
Trust me on that.
That said,
Melissa will probably win.
She's very eager,
somewhat like an excited puppy,
and she seems quite malleable.
Like clay in the hands of
Bob and Susie.
Looking forward to 9PM.
Now, on to the point of this post.
(Remember,
I'm watching The Next Food Network Star Marathon
on Sunday afternoon,
leading up to the Season Finale.)
On the 4th episode,
when the contestants are on the
Intrepid Sea, Air, and Space Museum,
Melissa is running out
to do her presentation,
and Guy Fieri, being the total tool he is,
takes his time on national TV
to check out Melissa's booty.
Check it out:
Now,
THAT'S MONEY!
Asshat.
