Tuesday, March 18, 2014

North Charleston Is Lovely. Except NOT!

When the Hawthornes first drove across the United States, I signed up for the Choice Privileges program.  I use a Choice Privileges Visa card and receive 5% off my stays, plus I accumulate points which I can redeem for a free night's stay.  Now, the Choice program says "Stay 2 nights and get the third night free."  This just ain't true.  It all depends on the points you accumulate and different hotels give you and require from you different amounts of points.  Anyhoos, I am limited to a certain hotel chains supported by the Choice program.  So whenever we travel, I have my all my AAA Tour Books, and when we're ready to settle down for the day, I consult the books and find a hotel that's in the program, call the toll-free number, and make my reservation.
Saturday afternoon, in Charleston, I checked out my Tour Book and found only 3 hotels available. We'd stayed at one of them before and didn't like it; the second we'd already passed ten miles back; the third was nearby and I took it.   Bad choice Choice hotel.

The hotel was the Clarion in North Charleston.

Here's a heads-up, people:  If anybody is traveling through Charleston, SC, and decides to stay at the Clarion Hotel at 3640 Dorchester Road in North Charleston, LISTEN TO ROSIE AND DON'T DO IT.  Rosie and Mr. Hawthorne have stayed at shithole hotels all across this great country of ours, and this place is THE WORST.

First of all, we requested a room on the first floor.  When we entered said room, it hadn't been cleaned.  I went back to the desk clerk who admitted she didn't think that room had been cleaned, and then I got a room on the seventh (and top) floor.  There were two elevators and only one was in operation.  About a five minute wait for the elevator anytime I wanted to go up or down.  Normally,  I would take the steps, but we had the cart with all our stuff on it.  Whenever I was at the ground floor and the elevator opened, it was like a clown car with everybody exiting.

We get to our room and settle down for the evening.  Mr. Hawthorne is watching TV and I'm on the computer.  Starting around 8:00, a group of 4 took the room next to us and we couldn't hear the TV over their talking.  At 12:00, Mr. Hawthorne finally went next door to ask them to pipe down.  And they did.

And I could smell smoke.  HATE!

This is the loudest place I've ever stayed in.   The balcony door didn't close all the way, so there was a 1/4-1/2 inch gap.  We tried closing the curtain in the door for a buffer.  Did not work.  The traffic was GAWDAWFUL!  Sirens, motorcycles, engines, boomboxes.  The noise was deafening.  Might as well pitch a tent at the end of an airport runway.  Oh, almost forgot.  Train tracks are nearby.  And I noticed a Grayhound bus station next door.  Joy.

Then I heard what I'm pretty sure were gunshots.

The next door noise, however, was NOTHING like what went on at 2:00 that morning in the parking lot.  I wasn't sleeping so I got up to check it out.

Please enjoy the videos!

Perhaps the guy with the flashlight is looking for gun casings.

Then I remembered the ear plugs XKT had given me before we left.  Stuck those in and slept like a baby.  Thanks, XKT!

XKT also sent me a link to trip advisor for the Clarion in North Charleston.  I think it might behoove me to consult trip advisor in the future.  Thanks again, XKT!

I would be remiss if I neglected to comment on the continental breakfast.  This is the first time that I've EVER had to pay for breakfast at a hotel.  $5.00.  The eggs were incredibly inedible.  The grits were like wallpaper paste.  There was no meat.  Only white bread was available.  No whole wheat.  So I starting bitchin’   critiquing the breakfast.  Mr. Hawthorne was not happy with this turn of events since other people might hear me - like I give a crap. 

 So then I started savoring the bites, eyes closed, breathing heavily, moaning.  
Oh, God! Oh, God!! Yes! Yes!! YES!!!  
Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally" got nothing on me.  Mr. Hawthorne was not amused. 

Then my friend Smurf, sent me this video about Key and Peele's Continental Breakfast
Thanks, Smurf.


Marilyn said...

Wow! We stayed once at a hotel at the airport in Indy that happened to be right under the runway for one of the freight carriers, so that every two minutes, a plane was taking off, directly over our room. The hotel was nice enough to supply us with ear plugs and a sleep CD. But I would still take that over yours!

Rosie Hawthorne said...

Ain't life on the road grand?!!?