Monday, January 13, 2014

Warning! This Post Comes With A Disclaimer.

Dear Readers,
Images in this post may be extremely disturbing to some of you,
well, any of you with a taste bud.
Please use judgment and protect
 the children, the elderly, and the faint of heart.
Many thanks to my friend, Smurf,
for  sending me the link.
 I have a collection of "vintage" recipes for you.
I present to you ... 
Summer Salad Pie!
Here's a slice!
This is from Betty Crocker's book,
 "Dinner in a Dish," published in 1965.
This delightful dish is described as "pretty as can be!"

I know you want this recipe post haste, so here it is:

Summer Salad Pie
1 pkg lemon flavored gelatin
1 1/4 cups boiling water
1 8-oz. can tomato sauce
1 TB vinegar
1/2 tsp salt
few drops each Worcestershire sauce and Tabasco
dash pepper
1/2 cup each chopped celery and pimiento stuffed olives
1/4 cup chopped onions
Cheese Pie Shell (below)
Tuna Salad (below)

Dissolve gelatin in boiling water.
Stir in tomato sauce, vinegar, and seasonings.
Chill until slightly thickened.
Fold in celery, olives, and onion.
Pour into cooled Cheese Pie Shell.
Chill thoroughly.
Spoon Tuna Salad on top of pie.
6 servings

Cheese Pie Shell
1 cup flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 cup plus 1 TB shortening
1/2 cups shredded sharp Cheddar cheese
2 TB water

Heat oven to 475°.
Mix flour and salt.
Cut in shortening thoroughly.
Stir in cheese.
Sprinkle water gradually over mixture,
1 TB at a time, tossing lightly with a fork after each addition.
Gather dough into a ball.
On a lightly floured board,
roll out 1" longer than inverted 9" pie shell.
Ease into pan.
Flute and prick.
Bake 8-10 minutes.

Tuna Salad
1 6 1/2 ox. can tuna, drained
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tsp minced onion
1 cup diced celery

Lightly mix tuna, lemon juice, onion, and celery.
Season with salt and paprika to taste.
Just before serving, drain and mix in just enough mayonnaise to moisten.

Now, Ladies, can you imagine Mr. Hawthorne's utter delight
when he comes into the kitchen for breakfast tomorrow morning
and sees THIS?
Ham and Bananas Hollandaise!

Ham and Bananas Hollandaise
6 medium bananas
1/4 cup lemon juice
6 thin slices boiled ham
3 TB mustard
2 envelopes (1 1/4 oz.) hollandaise sauce mix
1/4 cup light cream

Heat oven to 400°.
Lightly butter a 2 quart, shallow baking dish.
Peel bananas and sprinkle each with 1/2 tsp lemon juice to prevent darkening.
Spread ham slices with mustard.
Wrap each banana in slice of ham.
Arrange in single layer in baking dish.
Bake 10 minutes.
Make sauce:  Combine sauce mix with 1 cup water, 1 TB lemon juice, and cream.  
Heat, stirring, to boiling.  
Pour over bananas.
Bake 5 minutes longer or until slightly golden.

I don't know about you, but I'm doubling this recipe.
And it uses packaged hollandaise mix!
How sweet is that??

Now this next recipe perplexes me.
It comes with illustrations for cutting a hot dog,
and frankly, (heh) I don't think I'm able to follow the instructions.

I present to you ...
Hot Dog Fondue!

Look at the illustrations for cutting a damn weiner.
I don't think a rocket surgeon could figger this out.

Sadly, there was no accompanying recipe for this treat,
and, for the life of me, I can't find any fondue here.
Where's the fondue?????
 The blue and red mushrooms in the back - salt and pepper shakers?
There's some green (lettuce?) in the background.
Then there's some orange.  No idea what it is.
Something black is lurking next to the orange.
Again, I am perplexed.
There's what looks like a hollowed out 
tomato half stuffed with brown crud (hamburger?).
There's some unidentifiable yellow stuff in front (squash, potatoes?).
And there are the two arthritic hot dog spines.

 I just call it like I see it.

On to the next jewel
May I have a drum roll, please?
I present to you ... Perfection Salad!
And this gives new meaning
 to the words "perfection" and "salad."

I know you're all clamoring for this recipe, so here it is:

Perfection Salad!

2 envelopes unflavored gelatine
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 can (12 oz) apple juice
1/2 cup lemon juice
2 tablespoons vinegar
1 cup shredded carrot
1 cup sliced celery
1 cup finely shredded cabbage
1/2 cup chopped green pepper
1 can (4 oz) chopped pimiento

1. In small saucepan, combine gelatine, sugar, and salt; mix well.
2. Add 1 cup water. Heat over low heat, stirring constantly, until sugar and gelatine are dissolved. Remove from heat.
3. Stir in apple juice, lemon juice, vinegar, and 1/4 cup cold water. Pour into medium bowl. Refrigerate 1 hour, or until mixture is consistency of unbeaten egg white.
4. Add carrot, celery, cabbage, green pepper, and pimiento; stir until well combined.
5. Turn into decorative, 1 1/2-quart mold. Refrigerate 4 hours,or until firm.
6. To unmold: Run small spatula around edge of mold; invert onto serving plate. Place hot dishcloth over mold; shake gently to release. Repeat, if necessary. Lift off mold. refrigerate until ready to serve.
Makes 8 servings.

Truth be told, I actually have a Devo hat mold.
I'll have to find that sucker and make this for you!

For my next offering,
I give you Frosted Ribbon Loaf.
Oh, what a festive presentation!

"It's strictly for company and simply delicious!"
What, you mean you can't serve this to your family????
"You slice through the luscious cream cheese frosting 
to reveal pretty layers of ham and egg filling.
Tomato rose is fitting trim."
Here's the recipe:
Frosted Ribbon Loaf

Ham Filling:
1 cup ground cooked ham
1/3 cup finely chopped celery
2 TB pickle relish
1/2 tsp horseradish
1/4 cup mayonnaise

Egg Filling:
4 hard-cooked eggs, chopped
1/3 cup chopped stuffed green olives
2 TB finely chopped green onion
2 tsp mustard
1/4 cup mayonnaise

Unsliced sandwich loaf
4 3-oz pkgs cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup milk

Combine ham filling ingredients
Combine egg filling ingredients
Trim crusts from loaf.
Slice bread lengthwise in 3 equal layers.
Butter slices.
Spread first slice, buttered side up, with ham filling, second slice with egg filling, ending with thrid slice.  Wrap in foil and chill.
At serving time, beat cream cheese with milk until fluffy.
Frost top and sides of loaf.
Sprinkle generously with parsley.

I really have no words for this one.
It's called Lobster Relish.
It scares me.
Looks like it's gonna crawl off my plate and eat me.
I recognize shrimp and green olives and lettuce and nothing else.
As I said,  it's scary.
the green oozing out of the middle!
Do I even want to know what that is?

Lobster Relish

First layer:
1/2 envelope Davis Gelatine
3/4 cup hot water
1/4 cup vinegar
1 tsp sugar
salt and pepper

Second layer:
1/2 envelope Davis Gelatine
1/2 cup hot water
1/4 pint cream
small cucumber
green coloring
lobster meat
1/2 envelope Davis Gelatine
1/4 cup hot water
1/2 pint mayonnaise

Dissolve gelatine in hot water, add vinegar, sugar, pepper, and salt to taste.  When quite cool, place a little in the mold and turn the mold until it is entirely masked with a thin film of jelly.  The coating may be thickened by adding more of the mixture and repeating the process.  Arrange shrimps or other decoration.

Mash the pulp from a small cucumber.  Add gelatine dissolved in hot water and add salt to taste.  When cool, stir into cream and strain.  Color a delicate green.   Pour carefully into the mold.  When firm, pack the lobster meat into the mold and add the clear jelly.  

Serve with jellied mayonnaise.  Dissolve gelatine in hot water.  Add to mayonnaise.  Pour into small molds.

Decorate with lettuce.

 I love the direction to "color a delicate green."

Also, consider the measurements:
who says to use 1/2 pint or 1/4 pint?

A pint is 2 cups.
1/2 pint is 1 cup.
1/4 pint is 1/2 cup.
Who deals in pints?

Now, are you ready for a little palate cleanser?
Here it is:
By golly, it's a Jellied Tomato Refresher!
I know I'm game.

Let's just jump in!

Jellied Tomato Refresher
1 envelop unflavored gelatin
1/4 cup cold water
3 cups tomato juice
2 TB dehydrated green pepper flakes
artificial sweetener to equal 2 tsp sugar
2 tsp lemon juice
1 packet instant beef broth and seasoning mix or 1 beef bouillon cube
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1/4 tsp garlic salt
1/8 tsp ground cloves
1/2 medium green pepper, cut in rings (optional)

Sprinkle gelatin over cold water to soften.  Combine tomato juice, green pepper flakes, sweeterner, lemon juice, broth mix, Worcestershire, garlic salt, and cloves in saucepan.  Bring to boil, then remove from heat.  Add softened gelatin and stir to dissolve.  Pour into bowl.  Refrigerate until set.  Just before serving, beat lightly with fork.  Spoon mixture into serving dishes/glasses.  Garnish with pepper rings, if desired.

I agree with my friend, Bruce,
when he commented on this "recipe" on FaceBook.
I think he said ...
I agree.

Throw out the water and throw in the Smirnoff!

The 1960s were a horrible time.
It's a wonder we made it.


Rocquie said...

I love this! I remember my Mother making "fancy" foods like this. Though none of these exactly. She has a gazillion congealed "salad" recipes. If I had to eat one of those, I would choose the frosted ribbon loaf.

And I don't know which would be worse, the first one with the tuna salad and jello layers, or those weenies.

Thanks for the fun,

Lea said...

My family still makes that perfection salad. Well, with lemon or lime jello not the plain with lemon juice. But with the same vegetables. My mother CRAVES it several times a year. I don't consider jello to be food unless I am prepping for a I don't eat it. Blech.

Rosie Hawthorne said...

Glad you enjoyed the retro trip, Sage. If you "had to eat one." Hahahaha! Did you mean at gunpoint?

I'm sorry, Lea, but I don't see the "perfection" here.
And I don't eat Jello either. Not even for a colonoscopy.

Rosie Hawthorne said...

Interesting, Lea, that you came up with "colonoscopy" after reading this post.

tortietat said...

Brings to mind a concoction Mama made when we were growing up. Called Luau Weenies, it had a sauce made of ketchup, yellow mustard, oil, sugar, brown sugar, vinegar, sliced green peppers and onions to which sliced hot dogs were added and simmered until heated through. Recipe instructions were to serve "piping hot" over white rice. Will have to admit it was one of my favorite meals in those days, but don't think I'd have the nerve to try it now!

Rosie Hawthorne said...

Oh, Tortietat, stop. Stop! Stop! I can't take this any more.

Lea said...

You would need a colonoscopy after eating all that food! At least the cleanse would feel good ;)

Marilyn said...

"It's strictly for company and simply delicious!"

Only if you never want said company to never come over to your house again!

I remember the salads in jello molds showing up at potluck dinners and for holiday dinners with the family. I always thought that was a horrible way to ruin both jello and salads.

Although, with food like that, it's easy to see why people were thinner back then; who would want to eat that stuff?