Friday, July 18, 2008

A-Mowing We Will Go. Gotta Love Those Neighbors.

On June 20, 2008, anonymous commented: Anonymous said...

Do you fight with all your neighbors? As well as with waitresses in restaurant who don't give you five lemons, and anyone else that looks at you wrong? You seem like an angry person. Life is too short, honey, just too short.

June 20, 2008 3:37 PM

I responded with: Rosie Hawthorne said...

Anonymous, honey, I don't fight with any of my neighbors. I just comment and call them on their shit, dear. If you had seen how F-t-F had taken over the entire cul-de-sac and disrupted life as we know it when he was building his house, you might even have been a tad "put off." And I never have fought with a waitress for my five pieces of lemon. I just ask for them. I enjoy life. I embrace life. I exude joie de vivre. Go back to my December posts and notice that I bake every single day throughout the month to make Christmas goodies for friends and neighbors. I do this because it makes me happy and everyone appreciates it. Christmas Eve is rather special for me, since I deliver all my goodies to the neighbors and sit and chat with them for a bit. Truly, I am not an angry person. Sorry if you felt that. :) BTW, you seem to have a bit of a twig up your ass.

Here's the actual post (scroll down) if you want to refresh your memory. Now, why do I bring this up? Because I had a sichayshun this morning. I was in bed, happily dreaming away, minding my own business, when I was rudely awakened by hhrrrrnnnnnnn, hhrrrrowhhhnnnnnnnn, hhhruhhhhhhnnnnnnn. Bleary-eyed, I staggered to the window to look out. Some woman I've never seen before was cutting the grass at the home of my neighbors, 2 houses over. I looked at my clock. The time was FREAKIN' 5:23 AM! Yes, you read that correctly. 5:23 AM. I tried taking deep breaths. I tried putting a pillow over my head, which, let me tell you, was not conducive to taking deep breaths. My fists were clenching. My teeth were grinding. I couldn't take it any more. This is after I put up with F-t-F building his house, having random workman parking in my front yard, having the entire cul-de-sac disrupted by cars, vans, and trucks parked illegally, having my driveway blocked so I couldn't get out, having my son's car blocked in so he was late to school and had to attend ASD (after school detention) because they wouldn't accept the excuse that he was blocked in and couldn't get to school on time because, as they told me when I complained about the unfairness of that, "he could have taken the bus and gotten here on time," having $1800 worth of damage done to my fence by one of his workers, having a friggin' port-a-potty placed on my property so that people were actually taking CRAPS in my front yard ... did I miss anything? Probably, but I'm getting my headache again. Anyways, at 5:30 IN THE MORNING, I went outside to speak with this woman. Now, where the heck are the people who call the cops on my kids playing music at 9 PM and I let them continue because they were really good and INTHEZONE. When she saw me approach, she cut off the lawn mower and I asked her,"Are you aware of what time it is?" "Excuse me?" she responded. "Do you need to do this at 5:30 in the morning?" "Well, I wanted to cut the grass before the sun comes up and it gets all hot." "But it's 5:30 in the morning." Finally, I noticed a light bulb over her head. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm soooooo sorry." I just shook my head and walked back home, to bed, unable to sleep. I could hear a lawn mower roaring inside my head, a little brain worm wriggling through. Now, I was polite to this woman. She probably still went inside, crying, and told my neighbors about this total bitch next door that came out and made her stop mowing the grass. Hell, I would have offered to cut their damn grass at high noon if she'd just turn off the mower at 5:30 in the morning. Had I had my senses about me, which, for whatever reasons, I don't at early morning hours, I would have taken my camera with me with the date and time stamp and documented all this. Alas, I just don't think well when suddenly roused from a sound sleep at an ungodly hour. Now, certainly, I can be a bitch, a talent, mind you, I come by very naturally, but I don't go out looking to bitch at people. As I've said before, I am a shit magnet. I don't go out looking for it. Shit just finds me. And shit found me at 5:30 this morning. So, anonymous, before you judge me and call me a petty, tyrannical, angry, life-hating bitch, just consider I might not really be all those things. I might just respond to bad situations in the best way I know how. I tried to nip this one in the bud. I don't think I was in the wrong here. Comments, anyone?

9 comments:

  1. Oh, ho, Rosie, how little your neighbors understand! Why don't you move Big Rosie out there and THEN they will appreciate the sweetness and light spread about by her daughter?

    Give 'em Hell Rosie!

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  2. Mowing before 5:30 in the freakin' morning? Girl, you ain't a sh*t magnet, you're a moron magnet. You handled it well, I must say.

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  3. I am impressed that you were even able to physically get yourself over there at that time of day. Even if I am awake that early I can't verbalize anything. Good for you to go over there and ask this woman to stop.

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  4. Hey Ken. Thanks for commenting. I haven't seen you here before but I did go to your blog, http://www.kenandmckenna.blogspot.com/ and I've been reading and enjoying it. Thank you so much for putting me in your blog list.
    Love, Rosie.

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  5. OMG. You most certainly were not wrong for doing that. for fun, you should see what your city ordinances say -- they generally have allowable times for nuisance noises. You can always keep that in your back pocket if it happens again. 5:23 a.m.???? WTF? Does this person not have a life, or need sleep. And the F neighbor sounds like a real joy. I don't take BS at all, so I would have reacted the same as you. Thank god I have great neighbors!

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  6. don't you hate when strangers call you "honey"
    ugh. I'd rather be called bitch.

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  7. Oh Lane, I hate for the insincere Honey! Call a bitch a bitch. And you know, we come from a long line of bitches. You should be proud.

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  8. I'm glad you stopped by my blog--what a way for me to greet a new reader!

    I love your blog and have been reading it almost since the beginning, I think. It's one of my favorites and I check it at least once a day ;-)

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  9. Oh yeah, Rosie. 5:30 am lawn mowing is a felony, dammit. I'm glad you told her to stop.

    --notmuchofacook

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