Thursday, July 31, 2008

Oh Goodness, Ticky.

Just Ask Rosie. I never should have offered. Ticky has sent me email after email with somewhat dubious culinary suggestions. Ticky is trying my patience here. Where do you find this stuff, Ticky? At least I have a nice wine to go with the ass. Oh please, Ticky, No more. Oh my. That's it, Ticky. I need to go research all of this. I'll do my best not to let you down.

Just Ask Rosie.

Remember this post?

Just Ask Rosie.

I thought I'd offer this service for my loyal readers: If any of you have culinary questions, or recipes you would like to try, or dishes you would like for me to make and blog all the results, please don't hesitate to ask. If you see something, say on Food Network, and are wondering, "Would that be good or taste like ass?" Just Ask Rosie. I'm always up for a challenge. Just Ask Rosie. Send your suggestions/questions to: I look forward to hearing from you. Oh, and for the record, if you ask me to cook something involving brains, eyeballs, or genitalia, just to let you know, you'll be very low on my go-to list. Just sayin'. Just Ask Rosie. We'll, I've been taken to task by Ticky. Here's her suggestion. It's gonna take me a while, Ticks, but I'll try to do you proud. Now, I know I said no eyeballs, brains, and genitalia, but ASS is real damn close, Ticky!

Rosie Prepares Dinner Tonight. Sweet And Sour Pork.

I decided to clean some meat out of the freezer tonight.
I grabbed a few pork loins and began the prep work for sweet and sour pork.

Here are my vegetables, ready for stir frying:
Clockwise from top left:
Radishes, carrots, broccoli, onions, broccoli, onions, garlic,
red, green, and orange peppers, snow peas.

I have everything ready for the sweet and sour sauce:
cornstarch, vinegar, tamari, Maraschino Cherries (just for the juice), pineapple juice, brown sugar, and pineapple.

Here's the beginning of my sauce:
Clockwise from top left:
2 TB corn starch mixed with 2 TB cold water
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup chicken consomme (Yes, yes, that's more that a quarter cup there. I just took the container out of the fridge.)
leftover juice from the pineapple can with some Maraschino Cherry juice mixed in
1/4 cup cider vinegar mixed with 1/4 cup Tamari Soy Sauce
pineapples from a small can

In the front, for my sauce,
I have minced garlic, chopped carrots and green peppers.

Check out my spread.

On the back right, I have my veggies ready to stir fry.
On the back left and front left, I have the ingredients ready for my sweet and sour sauce.
In the middle front, I have the ingredients ready for my batter for the pork.

OK, for the sweet and sour sauce:

Back left:

2 TB cornstarch mixed with 2 TB cold water
1/4 cup brown sugar
leftover pineapple juice from the small can of sliced pineapples
with a bit of Maraschino cherry juice
1/4 cup cider vinegar with 1/4 cup Tamari
chopped pineapples

Front left:

green peppers

Now, to make the sweet and sour sauce.

For the sweet and sour sauce, heat oil,
the add minced garlic, carrots, green peppers.

Add in the pineapples.

1/4 cup brown sugar.

1/4 cup Tamari and 1/4 cup cider vinegar.

The pineapple and cherry joos.

Finally add in the cornstarch slurry and stir to thicken.

Here are the ingredients for the pork batter:
1 egg
1/4 cup corn starch
1/4 cup flour
1 tsp salt
1/4 cup chicken consomme
(My consomme is the real thing. It's been in the fridge. That's why it's jelly.)

I chopped my pork loins into 1 inch cubes.

Batter ingredients are ready to go.
1 egg
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup chicken consomme
Forgot 1 tsp salt.

Pork in batter.

Next, start stir frying.

I heated oil in my wok, then added carrots and broccoli.

Stir fried a bit in the oil.
Then added water to steam the veggies.
Removed to a bowl and placed a plate over top.

Stir fried the radishes, peppers, and onions.

Added in the snow peas.

Fried and tossed.

Added to the bowl of broccoli and carrots.

Next, I heated up some oil.
I prefer peanut oil for stir frying.

Added in the battered pork pieces.
When browned, take out of wok and drain.

Add in veggies to wok.

Pour in pork.

Toss to mix.

Add in sweet and sour sauce.

Mix thoroughly.

This is Middle and Youngest Hawthorne's friend, BrycerSweetness, loading his plate.
He loves my cooking.

Sometimes, I just lurve my cooking.
This was one of those times.

Oh, by the way, that's a sweet, black rice I cooked to accompany the pork.

Oooooh Kaaayyyy.
Let's get the response.

Mr, Hawthorne: "This is excellent."
"This is wonderful."
"This is better than Mei Long's."
(Mei Long was the long-time proprietor of Long River Restaurant in Danville, Virginia, where I had THE BEST Chinese meals in my entire life.)

Rosie: "Well, goodness, thank you.
That's high praise indeed."

Mr. H.: "This was just put together perfectly. A perfect blend.
Maybe next time you could ADD SOME CASHEWS."


He told me it was perfect already.
Now, I'm supposed to add freakin' CASHEWS?

Oh, but Dear Readers, it gets better.

Mr. H.: "All your food is good. But this flavor is superb ... unmatched.
You know what?
I would've sliced the pork thin.
Like in slices, not chunks like you did."

MY God. Do you people see what I'm dealing with here?

Then I told Mr. H, "The 1-inch cubes worked with the batter and with the stir fry. Had I sliced the pork like you suggested, then it would be all fried batter."
Mr. H.: "There's no batter on this pork."
Me: "Yes, there is."
Mr. H.: "No, there isn't."
Me: "Excuse me, but I beg to differ."

Here's the pork in the BATTER,
You Asshat.

I am weary now.
I had prepared what I thought was an excellent meal.
But then, after listening to Mr. Hawthorne's critique,
I feel somewhat drained.

But, it's all PERFECT, just the way I cooked it.
Color me confused.

Oh, Sister Dear? I Think We Need To Take A Trip.

Sister Dear, You may want to STOP right here
and go no further.
I certainly don't want to offend your delicate sensibilities.
And it is quite possible you my find this post offensive.
Proceed at your own risk.

Readers, if you recall, Sister Hawthorne took issue with me last week
for my liberal use of the f word.
I think she won't like this post too much.

A Little Austrian Town Named . . .
. . .

The newspaper article below is even funnier than the sign!

Are the residents called Fuckers?

What are the mothers called?

What would you be learning at the Fucking High School?

Does the Fucking Hospital help you with anything else?

If your friend came from another town, he wouldn't be your Fucking friend.

So nice to know that China is ready for the Olympics and the resulting influx of American tourists.

All this reminds me of the story told to me by a friend I used to work with.
Her last name was "Head."
And she said her brother had decided to name his first-born son "Richard."
This was so when he was called to the principal's office in high school the following would be announced over the PA system:
"Dick Head ... Dick Head ... Please report to the office immediately."

Chill, people.
These are just words.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Internet Connection Crap.

Check out the post I made earlier about my lack of internet service. Notice there's a comment from Jenny of Embarq (My ISP) who is actually addressing my problem. Apparently, Jenny reads my blog and is trying to help. Or at least let me know what's going on. And after I asked, she assured me she will pro-rate my service this month. Thank you so much Jenny. In the meantime, I've been shagging off F-t-F's service next door. Apparently, the bastard is good for something. Anyways, his "unsecured" connection sucks too, since I keep being kicked out and have to connect over and over again. I'm really suffering from Internet Withdrawal Symptoms. I can't get my email, or at least the way I want to. I'm having trouble blogging. I want my Embarq back. Sad. So sad that this has become my life now. Yesterday, Mr. Hawthorne had a hankerin' for some Major Nachos. So we headed to Lucky 12 Tavern, which, as you can see, offers some kick ass nachos.
By the way, I've never had a bad meal here. And also, I had the most fun at this establishment during the Taste of the Beach Week, when Mr. H. and I went and had all those delicious OYSTERS. The owner, Mark, always goes out of his way to acknowledge me. When we went there yesterday, he was driving out, saw us, and stopped to chat. I appreciate that. He remembers me. And trust me, I'm a totally forgettable person.
Here's my entree. One of the specials today was a salad with grilled scallops and shrimp. The seafood was quite spicy. The coolness of the pineapple was a very welcome touch. Very nice flavors.
Both good meals.
On to Ace Hardware.
And here's little Edith Ann in her chair at Ace Hardware. Oh wait. No. I believe a village somewhere is missing its idiot.
I told Mr. Hawthorne I wanted this chair. "What the hell for?" "So's I can be lifeguard at the pool." Sadly, I don't think I'm getting it. Tonight's dinner:
It's tile fish fillets. Mr. H. pulled out the pin bones with a small pair of pliers. I placed the fillets on foil, seasoned with s&p, lemon juice and slices, parsley, basil, and white wine.
I made little ramekins of blue cheese souffles.
WHOOT! Lookie at my souffles.
Here's the fish, cooked for about 25 minutes.
This was a delicious meal. I poured the orange/soy glaze into a little pool on the plate, then added some edamame, then topped that with baked tile fish and the crunchy, light, flavorful radish/carrot salad. Added a blue cheese souffle with powdered sugar sprinkled atop and sourwood honey drizzled o'er. then accessorized with a prosciutto wrapped date with blue cheese.

Saturday Night Dinner With Maxine.

While prepping dinner, Maxine and I opted for a few appetizers.
Here, I've wrapped dates in prosciutto.

And sauteed them in a little butter.

Maxine sliced apples and made pesto for them.
I had never thought about that combination but it's very good.

Pesto and apples.
Dates and prosciutto.

And what's really good is topping the dates with a bit of blue cheese, in this case
Rosenborg Danish Blue.

Delicious combinations.

Now, on to supper.
I'm starting off with Blue Cheese Souffles.
Yes, I know I've blogged about them before, but Maxine has never had them and they're worth doing again. And again.

Here, I'm preparing my roux.
Melt 2 TB butter, add 2 TB flour, and cook a bit to get rid of the raw flour taste. Don't brown.
Gradually add in 2/3 cup milk/cream mixture and whisk until nicely thickened.

In a separate bowl, whisk the egg yolks until they become light, frothy, and lemon colored.

Add yolks into roux mixture.

Then add in about 1/2 cup blue cheese and a tablespoon of sugar.

Beat egg whites with a bit of cream of tartar until stiff peaks form.
The cream of tartar stabilizes the whites.

Now, when I'm beating egg yolks or whites, I beat them at room temperature.
That way, you can incorporate more air into the eggs and get more volume.

(If you're beating cream to make whipped cream, then the cream should be very cold along with the beaters and bowl.)

I stirred in about 1/3 of the whipped cream to make a lighter roux.
Then I gently folded in the rest of the whites and poured into little buttered and sugared ramekins.

Bake at 350 for about 25 minutes.

And here are my souffles ready to be served immediately.

Next, I'll show you what I prepared for the rest of the meal.
First, I'm making an orange-soy glaze
which looked pretty darn good when I read about it in Carol's French Laundry Blog.

Maxine juiced enough oranges to make about 2 cups of juice.

Then I sloooooooow-ly cooked it down until it was reduced to about 1/4 cup.

This orange flavor is very concentrated and intense.

I whisked in about 2 tablespoons butter.

And 2 tablespoons soy sauce.
Set aside and keep warm.

Next, I rinsed my scallops and patted them dry, salted and peppered them, added a little freshly squeezed lemon and orange juice, then rolled them in panko bread crumbs.

I sauteed them in butter and oil.

Maybe two minutes on each side.
Then drained on paper towels.

Next, I decided to try a version of Carol's radish salad.

I julienned carrots, radishes, green onions, and cucumbers and kept them in ice water to keep them crisp.

For my dressing, I have olive oil, salt and pepper, and a splat of balsamic vinegar.

I added in some fresh lemon juice and ginger, whisked all together, then poured over top of the julienned veggies.

This is very light and refreshing.

Now, on to plating our dinner.

I put a little pool of the orange/soy glaze and topped it with edamame and placed two little dates alongside.

Next a couple of scallops on top.
(Scallops, not moi, seeing as I, unlike Carol, don't have a fishmonger with, shall we say, the types of feelers and connections, questionable or not, necessary for the procurement of moi.)

I added the radish and carrot salad on top.

Then I plated the blue cheese souffle and sprinkled powdered sugar over top.

And finally drizzled some sourwood honey over top.

Here's Maxine's table.

The sweetness of the dates and scallops was perfectly complemented by the lightness and freshness of the radish salad. The orange/soy glaze was a wonderful addition. The souffle was light, creamy, delicious. The crunchiness of the salad was a nice textural contrast to the creaminess of the souffle.
All in all, a winning dish.

Our dinner table conversation went something like this:

M: Ohh.
R: Oh yeah.
M: Oh my.
R: Mm.
M: Mmm.
R: Mmmm.
M: Mmmmm.
R: Mm...Mmmmmm.
M: Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

We probably spilled some food since our eyes were closed the whole time.

This was an excellent meal.
Sometimes the flavors and textures all just POP and this was one of those times.
It was so good, that I'm making another version of it tonight, only I'll be using tile fish.