WHOOT!
I'm so 'cited!!!
Ticky is visiting me tonight.
And she brought GIFTS!
I love presents.
I got a Christmas present
AND
an early birthday present.
First, my Christmas present.
I put it in my Norfolk Island Pine.
Do you see it?
I'm well on my way to my
very own Cocktail Tree!
Next, my early birthday present:
WELCOME TO HELL'S KITCHEN.
This is perfect for me.
And I thank you, Ticky, so much for it.
For you TWoPers out there
with long memories,
I used to be SeventhHell
and Ticky used to be Rootie
until we both got banned by
the Nazi Goderators at TWoP.
Rootie actually got banned for
defending SeventhHell.
Then she re-materialized as TickyTock,
I PM'd her because she sounded familiar.
Turns out it was Rootie.
And our friendship
was cemented.
Ticky and I finally met in person
2 years ago, when she came down
for my birthday in January.
And tonight, she showed me her
cell phone contact list.
She actually has Rosie on there as
HELL HOME
and
HELL CELL.
Ticky, you're a HOOT.
A HOOT, I tell ya!
Later on during the night,
Ticky asked me about what was on TV.
Well, HELL, Rosie doesn't know.
"Well," Ticky said, "Just use your remote control
to find out."
"Huh? Wha???"
Now, I've had this particular TV for over a year
and of course Mr. Hawthorne knows how to work
every feature.
I only know the number buttons, the volume buttons,
and the up and down channel buttons.
It took me about a month
before I figured out which
remote control to use and which
buttons to push to actually
turn the thing on.
He's tried to teach me,
but it never took.
Then, tonight, Ticky enlightened me.
I learned the GUIDE button,
the INFO button,
the ARROW buttons,
and the EXIT button.
And lemmejestellya,
I am a channel searching fool.
Lemmejesshowya
what I found:
Apparently, there is a cocky cornucopia of carnality -
nay - a virtual plethora of porn -
a fertile, fetid field of fecundity,
a slippery smorgasbord of smut -
a library of libidinous lasciviousness -
a buffet of boisterous beastiality -
an eyeful of erogenous erotica -
on the upper channels.
I had no idea.
Check it out.
I was amazed.
Ticky and I have our credit cards out.
$12.99 a pop.
My favorite here is
Fillmore Butts.
40 Year Old Mother Load has a nice ring to it.
Here's Ticky shooting a pic for her blog.
"Real Public Affairs 2"
probably should have been
"Real Pubic Affairs 2."
I'm guessing that was a typo.
Oooh.
Strap-On Adventures
has a nice ring to it.
Oh my.
Slut Licking Good
and
Humping in the Hood
are my personal favorites.
Ticky shooting another pic.
I had NO IDEA such stuff
was on my TV.
Thanks Ticky for learnin' me some tech stuff!
Oh my. Rosie dear, step away from the remote. Go back to the kitchen where things are nice and safe.
ReplyDeleteWhere was Mr. H during the festivities?
ReplyDeleteMr. H. was in his bed watching TV all night. Occasionally, he'd pop into the living room when Ticky and I got too loud which would have been when we were reading the names of the movies and guffawing. Yes, we guffawed.
ReplyDeleteWell Rosie, maybe I haven't looked enough, but I couldn't find those channels on my TV. Rats.
ReplyDeleteWell, Kathy, you're more than welcome to come back down here and check out my channels.
ReplyDelete