Can You Guess That Chest? And Hiking. Don't Forget The Hiking.

Let's play a little game, shall we? Without looking at the face, can anyone out there tell who this is?

Ok, I know this is a toughie, so I'll give you a hint.

She's a certain Food Network "star."

Need another hint? She's Italian.

No? Still can't guess who it is? One more hint: Her grandfather was a famous producer.

Well, if you guessed Giada de Laurentiis, you'd be correct.

Here she is holding court before she actually starts cooking.

Not too long ago, I posted about Little Big Head,

the Queen of Cleavage.

And how her production crew always seems to put ingredients just out of Giada's Reach.

And instead of the camera focusing on Giada's mad cooking skilz, the cameraman always zooms in on Giada's anatomy.

I'm sure this is all coincidence. Although when I used to watch Julia Child on PBS twenty years ago, I don't remember the cameramen doing this to Julia.

When I posted last about Giada's "girls," some of my gentlemen readers suggested I make this a weekly feature. Another gentleman called this my "best posting so far." So boys, go ahead and enjoy.

Ouch, I would imagine frying could get a bit dicey. Now, let's get on to the actual subject of this post - Giada and Hubby's recent hike up into the California mountains. Happy Trails.

Oh goodness. Just once, could you give the girls a rest?

I must say, the diamonds make for very nice hiking attire. I mean, I never go hiking without a certain amount of bling. Plus, she was wearing platform gym shoes.

I know this is TV. I know this is contrived. But geeze.

This one was just stupid. She's on a freakin' hike and they have her made up to the nines (Trowel and plaster come to mind.) with false eyelashes to boot. And that's just a really scary look in the harsh light off day. And the food isn't even hike-friendly. Is that a salami she just pulled out?

And the sandwich. I thought she might break a tooth biting into that rock-hard bread. Oooh. That might be cool if Giada broke a tooth. Then she could get a grill. Oh man, Giada would be smoking with something like this. And the grilled veggies with goat cheese? On a hike? Doesn't appeal to me at all.

Nothing like a chocolate raspberry bar with white chocolate and almonds that's been melting in your back pack. Wouldn't all that chocolate be like a rock in your stomach on the trip back downhill? I'm thinking some intestinal distress would be involved here.

But the piece de resistance - as soon as they got to their destination point, Giada broke out the booze. Gee, I know I don't do a lot of hiking. OK. I never hike. But after hiking uphill for a few hours (All right ... I know that's a stretch for Giada too. They rode up in air-conditioned comfort and got out of the car every now and then to pretend hike. I get it.), wouldn't one want WATER to drink? And wouldn't one be re-hydrating on the way up? Who the hell brings out a bottle of wine? You're in the hot, Calilfornia sun. You're sweating. OK, Giada doesn't sweat. She doesn't even glisten. And you pull out a bottle of wine to dehydrate yourself even more. Nothing like hiking downhill with a buzz. I know. I've totally over thought this. I need a life.