Rachael Ray bugs the crap outta me. The woman is overexposed and way past annoying. And I hate her Rachaelisms - her stupid catch phrases: EVOO, Sammies, BLD (It's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner), Stoups (Thicker than a soup, thinner than a stew.) YUM - O! Delish! Oh My Gravy! Her raspy, hoarse voice, her flailing arms, her perkiness - all work on my very last nerve. And I've always thought Rachael bore an uncanny resemblance to Jack Nicholson's Joker in Batman. See HERE for confirmation.
Emeril has his BAMMM!!!! Mario has his CLOGS. Pauler has her BUTTAH. Ina has her snooty Hamptonite friends, her gay posse, her roast chicken, her lemon zest, her fennel, her Dick-in-the-windmill, her whalepants, and her Jeffrey. Sandra Lee has her precious booze and seasoning packets. Guy Fee-YE-tee has his arm bands, his sunglasses on the back of his head, his bling, his spiked, bleached hair, and his general douchiness. And Rachael Ray has her "CARRY." The absurdity of this drives me just a little bit nuts. It's like she's training for an Olympic event. At the beginning of every episode she goes to her refrigerator and gets out an armful of ingredients, then she goes to her counter and adds bowls, pans, and more ingredients, then to her cabinet to get yet more ingredients, and finally to her pantry to top off her load with even more crap, precariously balancing it all until she gets to her work area where she dumps everything. Personally, once, just once, I'd like to see her drop everything. That would give me great satisfaction. I don't even understand why she does this. The kitchen ain't that big. But, I guess everybody has to have their shtick. It's just that this particular shtick is shtoopid.
I'd had this post in mind for several weeks as I forced myself to watch the first few minutes of 30 Minute Meals, to take pictures of "The Carry," and then FoodNetworkHumor beat me to the punch. Oooh. Lookey here. It's a letter to RayRay found in her garbage bowl: (And don't get me started on the garbage bowl.) Dear Rachael, Bitch, Make two trips. Love, Mom