Sunday, June 26, 2011

Rosie Is Pissed. But Then She Zenned Out.

Rosie has a pet peeve. Imagine that. It's about people that can't back up a damn car. To wit #1: I have a dog-leg driveway. On either side I have rose bushes in berms. Too many people backing out of my driveway like to straighten that dog-leg out. That means they go over a small 1-foot tall step-stone wall and then go over the roses in that little berm. I have watched people back out of my driveway and do this. Time and time again. I know they must feel it when their tires crunch over rock and they must know something is awry, but they never stop. They just keep going. Rosie's blood pressure rises. NOTE TO GARDENERS: You CAN repair rose bushes with duct tape. Another Trust-Rosie-Moment. To wit #2: This is what sent me over the edge this afternoon. Do you remember this post? It was about proudly picking our first tomato the other day from a plant that was a volunteer. In the mulch. At the end of my driveway. Next to the driveway of an absentee neighbor who occasionally has renters. Who did indeed have renters moving in today (Saturday). And said renters could not back the damn car into the driveway. This absolutely frosts my butt. They kept maneuvering the car in and out for the first ten feet. And they ran over my cherry tomato bush. The first bush that produced a ripe tomato. A volunteer that had absolutely no water until the rain a few nights ago, but was still about the healthiest tomato plant you've ever seen. How much abuse can one woman take, I ask you? Rosie, take deep breaths. Let the good air in. Let the bad air out. Rosie's trying hard here, but she has a breaking point. Straw? Meet camel's back. Rosie had to take action.
Rosie wrote a note to the offender. This was my first draft.
Rosie edits herself constantly. She needed to be more forceful. One doesn't mess with Rosie. Without repercussions. I spell out my boundaries pretty much exactly.
I strode next door and put the notice on the window. One can only hope to catch a glimpse of Rosie in full stride.
Nice tape job. What else can Rosie do, I ASK YOU? Well, I'll just tell you.
Rosie took her broken chair and placed it at the end of her property. Next to the miscreant renter's driveway. Protecting my two volunteer tomato plants.
Get a clue!
Here's a visual for you. I have two tomato plant volunteers here. They ran over half of one plant. I'll probably lose that half. The other half seems OK. I dare you to touch that chair. I DOUBLE-DOG dare you.
Here's MY space on the left of the concrete drive and that's YOUR space on the concrete. Respect the CHAIR. Respect my SPACE. Respect my TOMATOES. At this point, Rosie nose-dived into a funk. I may have nose-dove. Rosie's not sure which. But she had to stop, back off, and take a walk through the garden. That always helps.
Five-six-foot tall coral gladioli. Black-eyed Susan- Rudbeckia. Sunflowers in the back. Coneflower or echinacea there too. Way back.
My roses here are resting after blooming furiously two months ago. I will give them a good dose of Miracle-Gro tomorrow. Hopefully I'll do all the roses, three times a week with the Miracle-Gro. At least that's the plan. I've done it before with freaking stellar results. Unfortunately it wasn't in my own garden. It was in the garden of neighbors down the street. And their roses ROCKED!
All the larkspur and bachelors buttons have given away to spent foxglove (digitalis), coneflower (echinacea), and black-eyed Susan (rudbeckia). A garden is always a work in progress. There's no such thing as being done. There's always something to be done. You can trust Rosie on that. It's a fact.


Anonymous said...

PLEASE post the pics of your pretty green chair either decorated with tread marks or floating in the canal! Go get 'em ROSIE!

Rosie Hawthorne said...


Don't worry, Anony.

Rosie is keeping vigil. She may sit out in that chair tonight. In her cammies. With her night-vision glasses and her Nikon CoolPic on video mode.

Stay tuned for more drama.

SweetPhyl said...

Oooh, if you reeeeeally wanna go all Colington on the offendor...get rid of the paper and use a can of spray paint instead! Someting in a nice florescent green, I'd say. We're talking Summer tomatoes here, after all...


Rosie Hawthorne said...

SweetPhyl,don't worry. I got me a Can o' Colington Whup Ass.