This post is from a draft
I wrote August 18, 2011,
and I'm just getting around to posting it now:
Last Thursday morning,
XKT picked me up and we headed to Manteo
for the 30th New World Festival of the Arts.
Generally, I despise arts and crafts festivals,
and at first, Wednesday night, I'd told XKT, "No, absolutely not."
Then I woke up Thursday morning around 6:17,
took the dogs for a run,
came back, vacuumed all the dog hair up,
started on breakfasts
(Yes, plural, since my children wake up at different times
and eat in shifts.),
then I said to myself,
"Self? This is crazy. You need to get away today."
So's I called XKT,
and she picked me up around 9,
and that's how Rosie ended up
at the dreaded Farts and Craps Festival.
Karma is a funny thing.
It can up and bite you in the ass at any time.
That's what happened today.
One must respect karma.
Manteo is a lovely, quaint town.
It is the ultimate quaint town.
You must see it to believe it.
One of these days,
I'm going to get XKT and Glowria
to take a photographic walking tour of Manteo with me.
Then I'll blog about it
and you will fall in love with Manteo too.
I love the "homey" atmosphere.
I love the homes in Manteo.
They have individuality.
They have uniqueness.
They have personality.
They have soul.
I also love the gardens in Manteo.
They truly show the soul of the tender.
XKT and I arrived in Manteo
and parked on one of the side streets.
I was immediately drawn to this garden.
Loved the zinnias in the foreground
and the fruit tree in the background.
XKT and I were greeted
by one of the most gracious ladies I've ever met.
Every gardener I've met is a lovely person
and always tries to give me a gift from their garden.
We gardeners appreciate those
who appreciate what we do.
If you notice in the above picture,
I've pixilated the gardener's face.
I've never, ever, pixilated a face before.
I asked the gardener if I could shoot pictures
and she said yes,
but I was so struck by her garden
that I forgot to ask her for permission to use
her picture in my blog.
So I pixilated.
As I was looking around her garden,
I noticed these lovely agaves.
When I asked about them,
she offered me a baby agave
and gave me directions to find it
on her planting bench in the back of her garden.
Her backyard was ...
Inviting.
Calming.
Personal.
Intimate.
Revealing.
Charming.
Delightful.
Friendly.
Beckoning.
Tomatoes behind Rosie, holding her treasured agave gift,
so's you can get an idea of the height of the tomatoes.
This is where the karma kicks in.
We're talking to the lovely lady who lives here and XKT tells her about my garden and about how I have a blog where I post about my garden and food and how I review local restaurants. And "Rosie, Rosie, give her one of your cards!" I fumble around and hand her one. Then, lovely lady, upon hearing that I review restaurants, perks up. Uh oh.
"Have you ever been to the
XXXX Restaurant," she asks me?
Me: "Uhhhh. Yes, yes I have."
Now, Mr. Hawthorne has always told me never to play poker.
Apparently, my poker face belied me.
And then she says to me, "Well, give it another chance.
My daughter owns it!"
Let's just say I've been there and did not give it a very charitable review.
XKT is unable to look me in the face at this point
and we thank the lady and make a hasty retreat,
each of us carrying our baby agaves.
I ask XKT if perhaps she should move her car,
which is parked right across the street,
since if Lovely Lady actually goes to KitchensAreMonkeyBusiness
and does a little research or mentions me to her daughter,
we might come back to slit tires.
Such is life.
XKT and I walk over to the Arts and Crafts display.
Along the way:
Check out the size of those sunflower heads.
I soooo wanted to go grab some seeds.
Should've taken the time to go ask permission.
This is Roanoke Marshes Light
in the Manteo waterfront.
It's a reproduction of the original
Roanoke Marshes lighthouse off Wanchese.
This is the original Manteo Court House
where I was once a juror.
And what do you know?
I just got another jury summons for September 6.
Manteo has a brand new court house
and administration buildings now.
Personally, I think Manteo is doing
too damn much administrating.
XKT and I took a walk down Sir Walter Raleigh Street.
XKT wanted to go into this shop.
She likes shopping.
I hate shopping.
I saw the bench in the background
and wanted to buy it for my garden.
Then I saw the cat in the foreground
and shot pictures of him/her.
Manteo is a very cat-friendly town.
We went to the door to the shop.
It was locked.
But there was a note to call this number
and someone would be there within five minutes.
I didn't call.
Sorry.
You missed the sale.
Next time, be there.
This is the way I am:
If I want to buy something,
I want to buy it.
Now.
Don't make me work
to give you my money.
Make it easier for me
so it doesn't hurt as much.
Oh my heavens.
What I endured next.
It was the Shell Shop.
XKT saw some dresses on a rack outside
this place and HAD to try something on.
I keep reminding myself that I
actually consented to go,
against all reason and sanity,
in an oddly ironic attempt to keep my reason and sanity.
Karma.
Ouch.
What's that?
Oh, another chunk outta my ass.
Now here starts the part I don't understand.
I'm sitting outside in sweltering heat
on the front porch of yet another
"charming shop"
and XKT sticks her head out
and tells me to come in and look
at some dumb-ass dress she likes.
I reluctantly and hesitantly shuffle in.
She leads me through a maze of rooms
and to a rack of summer dresses.
My head is spinning.
My pulse is racing.
I don't like this.
XKT starts pulling hangers out
and asking me,
"How do you like this?"
I do not understand this.
I turn to leave
and she tells me to wait.
She's going to try on one dress
and ...
get this ...
she.wants.my.opinion.
HUH?
Bitch.
(And you know I mean that in the nicest way possible.)
The dress is for YOU!
You have a mirror.
Why would you ask me for my opinion?
And, for the love of God,
have you taken a good, hard look at what I'm wearing?
OK.
Next time, XKT,
not there's gonna be a next time,
I'm immediately going to tell you
IT MAKES YOUR ASS LOOK BIG!
So don't ever put me through that again.
As for what happened next,
I left the shop and went back outside
and sat on a bench.
XKT eventually came out and told me
she had called Glowria to come
and give her opinion on her frock.
Apparently, Glow was on the other side of Manteo.
XKT kept coming out,
wearing the dress,
asking me where the hell was Glowria
and if I wanted to come back inside in the cool.
Nope.
To many freakin' SHELLS!
Not only do I have Bozophobia
(fear of clowns),
I also have molluskophobia
when encountered in high concentrations.
The cuteness of this shop damn near killed me with insulin shock.
Hell,
look at the cat above.
Cat's wearing a freakin' necklace with shells.
Elizabeth II replica.
Can you imagine sailing across the ocean in a boat this size?
Then we had a mediocre meal at a Manteo restaurant
that was so mediocre I didn't even bother to blahg about it.
Took pictures,
but just didn't have enough energy to talk about the blahness
of this meal.
The blahness took my breath away.
Whew!
I'm so glad to get this post out.
Been festering since August.
Hahahaha Hohohoho Heeheeheehee! Rosie going clothes shopping. Priceless.
ReplyDeleteNo I did NOT. I was forced to go.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, wonder if Rosie will be invited anywhere again w/XKT. I bet she'd even graciously let you borrow her clothes for an event when you asked.
ReplyDeleteAnony, XKT will invite me again. She's one of the most gracious people I know.
ReplyDeleteYou will invite me again, won't you?
I do love Manteo, and it has been far too long since I was there. When we used to vacation at Nags Head we would always spend a day riding our bikes through Manteo.
ReplyDeleteYes, Rosie, you do need to do a post on Manteo. What little I saw of it was very charming.
ReplyDeleteYou went to Manteo and didn't go to The Christmas Shop?! Sacrilegious! I would LOVE to have been with you on your very first, and probably last, visit to that charming institution!
ReplyDeleteOh,I've been to the Christmas Shop, SweetPhyl. It makes me dizzy.
ReplyDeleteAre you a bah humbug, Rosie?
ReplyDeleteHave you ever been to the Christmas Shop, Mar?
ReplyDeleteIf you're prone to epileptic seizures, I wouldn't recommend it.
Don't go if you're hungover either.
And if you did anything in the 60's that you probably shouldn't have done, you might have a flashback.
Just sayin'. Mmmmkay?