Thursday, May 1, 2008

May Day Dinner.

Happy May Day everyone!

I've just come inside from exciting May Pole activities involving rent-a-kids
and I'm ready to fix dinner.

Remember this EPISODE
from Sandra Lee.

Here is one of my all time favorite SLoP arussippees.
From that EPISODE.

Can you imagine actually feeding that to a child?
This recipe was designed to be fed to the children
(Sandy's rent-a-kids)
frolicking around the Maypole.

Look closely at the picture in "SLoP arussippees."

What, at first glance appears to be 6 bite-sized pieces of dainty sandwich, is actually, on closer inspection, one great, big, honking FLOWER CUTOUT that's big as crap, with the
6 dainty sandwiches being petals (???).

The six "petals" are weighted down with Sandy Krap.
Sandy Krap inkludes salmon cream cheese, tarragon, and capers ... for CHILDREN!

And if one were so inclined,
how the hell is one supposed to eat that konkokshun?


OK, back to dinner:

I had bought numerous chicken bosoms on sale the other week for $1.49/pound and pulled two out of the freezer.

And now I'm thinking to myself, " Self, how can I do chicken differently?"

Hee! Who else would I be thinking to?

Oh, I know, I know. Imonna think to the DOG. "DOG, take the garbage out and pick up all the pine cones in the yard and put them in a neighbor's yard. Good DOG! Good DOG!"

It's like Daddy used to say, "... in my own mind ... ."
And Mama would say, "Well, who the hell else's?"
Oh, God. I'm turning into my mother.
But I digress.



Not knowing exactly where I'm going with the chicken, I start getting my ingredients together.
Right now, I'm playing it by ear.

Here, I have black sesame seeds, sesame oil, Mandarin oranges, Grey Poupon Dijon mustard, some almonds, fresh asparagus out of my garden, snow peas, cucumber, and lemon.


I'm starting a dressing here. I used the juice of one lemon, then added some of the Mandarin orange joose, and then decided it needed the juice of one lime.
Some Dijon mustard and sesame oil go in, then I whisked in some Bertolli Extra Lite Olive Oil.
Ooh, ooh! Looking at the picture, I remember now that I put some minced garlic in it too.





It needs some more, so I added chopped cucumbers and black sesame seeds.



Next, I toasted the sliced almonds and chopped the snow peas, asparagus, and green onions.




I salted and peppered the slightly pounded chicken bosoms and sauteed them in a combination of butter and olive oil (Land o' Lakes unsalted and Bertolli Extra Light Olive Oil).



After the chicken was done, I tossed in the snow peas and asparagus for a minute or two.


I chopped up the chicken and added the snow peas, asparagus, almonds, and oranges.


This is looking pretty good.



Then I added the sesame/cucumber dressing.

Oh, I forgot.
I decided to add in some chili-garlic sauce to the dressing, about 1 teaspoon.



Add in the scallions and toss thoroughly.


Place on a tortilla with shredded lettuce.



Wrap the tortilla up (And yes, I used toothpicks.), place in the toaster oven, and toast all over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know this one is a tad overly "toasted."
But I like it like that.



Youngest Hawthorne ate two wraps.

This was different and quite good.

I have some leftover chicken mixture which would be really good on a salad.


OK, next up ... the cleaning of the stove.

Me: The stove is filthy. I've cleaned it the last 12 times. It's your turn.

Mr. H.: I don't want to.

Me: I know you don't want to. Neither do I. But I'm tired of doing this crap all the time while you just sit there and watch TV.

Mr. H.: Quitcher naggin'. I wanna see the news.

So's, I go take the grills off the stove top, sighing heavily and quite audibly, and commence to rip off about a dozen sheets off the paper towel roll.

Mr. H: What the hell are you doing?

Me: I'm cleaning the stove.

Mr. H.: But you're wasting paper towels!

Me: No I'm not. I need these to clean the stove with.

Mr. H.: Oh for crying out loud. Get the hell out of the way and let me do it.
You're doing it all wrong

Me: Well, if you really think so.

Mission accomplished.
Heh.



I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but Mr. H. is a Virgo.
Attention to detail.
Here, he's taken the burner tops off and is cleaning underneath.



There was some particularly stubborn matter next to this one burner.
Mr. H. is using is finger nail to scrape it up.

If I said he was anal, that would be a bit of an understatement.

I'm surprised he doesn't suck up the furniture when he sits down.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you are a bunch of freaks ya dont have anything else better to do?
you have to paint your dogs nails??
uuuusshshsshshshs!!! its scary...
hahaahahhaha its amazing how there can be people so bored in this planet buah ke asco de friki