I'm sure all of you are anxiously awaiting the results of my visit
with Chris,the Association Manager.
Mr. Hawthorne and I went up to the office promptly at 9 o'clock this morning and sat down to have a nice chat with Chris, an aging hippie with white hair pulled back in a ponytail halfway down his back.
"We'd like to know what's going on with Frank."
Chris started out saying that he was composing a letter to send to the cul-de-sac members (I don't know if that's just my cul-de-sac, or all the cul-de-sacs out here.) imploring the residents to be "good neighbors." I explained to him I've lived here for 24 years and I have been a good neighbor to all my neighbors and have never had a problem with any of them until now. I then explained the truck incident on Sunday and how F-T-F was just trying to provoke me. I told him what both Frank and his wife had said to me, which Chris also interpreted as threats, and how Frank had disregarded the entire neighborhood when he was building his house, and how Frank is basically a real pain in the ass. Apparently, Chris already knew about the pain in the ass part. Then I went on to say how he could send out all the letters he wanted, but that Frank is the problem, not me or the other neighbors and I would imagine a letter to Frank asking him to be a good neighbor and play nice would fall on deaf ears since I imagine Frank's elementary report cards had a lot of "Doesn't play well with others" in them.
Next I asked him about the stone wall Frank had complained to him about, which I denied having to Good Neighbor Bob last night when he called to ask about the going's on in our little Peyton Place/Knot's Landing. Just call me Valene, who, by the way, have you seen lately? Girlfriend has had some really bad work done on her. What the hell was she thinking?
And it just gets worse.
And worse.
Oh my gosh, I'm kinda gettin' a Sandra Lee vibe here.
The funniest picture is of Valene lunging in to lay one on terrified castmate Donna Mills who is recoiling in horror.
But I digress.
Where was I? Oh yeah, my "stone wall."
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you ...
MY STONE WALL:
Ta DAAAA!!
This is the wall of contention.
I put these pavers around the edges of my rose beds because certain people are unable to negotiate the dogleg of my driveway and just want to back straight out to the point where they actually drive up on the berm and over top of the actual roses. By the way, if this ever happens to you, duck tape works wonders.
F-T-F has complained to the Association Manager about this eyesore of a stone wall.
He wants it taken down.
Frank, you are nothing but an arrogant bully and a shit stirrer and everybody knows it.
No pig pickin' for you next weekend, since the other Frank-The-Good hand delivers his fliers and I don't believe you made the list. Also, you just lost out on my Christmas Cookies.
You probably kick kittens and pummell puppies and bludgeon baby bunnies and pull wings off butterflies in your spare time.
Bad Frank!
BAD Frank!
4 comments:
I really hate, when there is a problem with one person, the person in "charge" thinks everybody has to get a letter, or go to a meeting, or stop what they're not doing. This happens so much and I think it's beyond cowardly. This used to happen where I worked. I used to ask, "How many of us are doing (not doing) this?" No answer, of course. Frank needs to get the letter and only Frank. Good neighbor letter to all, my ass.
Wow not much of a cook, you said it all, and very well. That is soooo true. Rosie, you didn't ask for my opinion but since I read your blog, I say: Don't let this idiot make you cry, or get angry. I know it's hard, but he's so not worth it. He even looks like a thug -- and the wife? Well, she's probably been through hell with his affairs, drunkenness, probably even jail. They both look a little low-class to me. I would definitely get a lawyer to write a letter that basically says nothing more than "if you threaten any more, such and such will happen." I have had to do that, and the lawyer letter works wonders. Good luck hon, this is a ridiculous situation.
It's like in elementary school when one kid acted up, the whole class had to miss recess.
I told Good Neighbor Bob to be looking out for his "letter." He just said "F Frank and the damn letter. I ain't gonna be nice to that ass hole."
And kelley from columbus, your comments are always welcome, along with anyone else's. Thank you for reading.
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