Rosie Rises To Ticky's Challenge

If you recall, Ticky, in responding to Just Ask Rosie, challenged me to make a nice fried ass
Always being up for a challenge, I headed off to FoodLion yesterday to find me an ass.
Trust me, I found more than one.

As luck would have it, rump roasts were on sale.
And I saved a whopping $0.33!
And, Ticky, I do believe rump qualifies as ass.

Looks nice, doesn't it.
Just wait until you turn it over and see what every cut of meat at FoodLion
looks like on the other side.

Only about an 1/8 - 1/4 inch slab of fat that they leave on hidden underneath.

Here's Mr. Hawthorne cutting the fat off.

For a side dish, Mr. Hawthorne is preparing mashed potatoes.
This is the butter he used:

Last week when we left Danville, we stopped at Yoder's Amish Market in Yanceyville, NC
and bought a bunch of stuff including this delicious butter.

Here Mr. H. is adding milk to the mix. He wanted to add horseradish, but I asked him if he wanted the boys to actually eat any of the mashed potatoes, instead of taking a bite and spitting it across the room. So he wisely omitted the horseradish.
Hasn't this man lived with these children for 18 and 20 years?

Mr. Hawthorne prepared a light salad with onions, tomatoes, cucumbers, and dill slices with a dressing of rice vinegar, olive oil, salt, and pepper.

Here are Mr. Hawthorne's seasonings which he's rubbed into his ass:
salt, pepper, onion powder, Adobo Seasoning, and Blackening Seasoning.

I came back and sprinkled sugar all over, which I rubbed evenly into the meat.

Now, Ticky, here comes the fried ass part.
We seared the meat on all sides in a combination of canola oil and butter.

Now, I just don't know what a dry fry is.
But I'm doing the best I can here.
Work with me.

After searing all sides, Mr. H. poured in some water and scraped up the goody bits.

He inserted a probe and cooked until the temperature registered 115 degrees.
After letting it rest, the temp actually went up to 129.
Notice, the meat is cut on a slant,
so not all will be as rare as I like it.

Five minutes before taking out the roast, he added
frozen asparagus we get from Schwann's which ain't half bad.

I steamed some broccoli until just tender.

Mr. Hawthorne!! What the hell are you doing?
At this point I had to grab his knife and take over.
If you look carefully, he's cutting the meat WITH THE GRAIN.
BAD Mr. Hawthorne.

Here's my plate:

I had some leftover (from Eggs Benedict last Sunday) gloppy Hollandaise Sauce which I spooned over the broccoli. Looked not too good, but tasted delicious.
A slice of fried ass.
An asparagus spear.
Mashed taters.
And cuke/mater/onion/pickle salad.

The next day I made an ass sandwich for lunch.
I sliced the fried ass against the grain, very thinly, put it on a toasted whole wheat bread slice, with smeared sour cream and horseradish.
And I savored this sandwich.

Hee. Dixie and Beau.
She just wants to be left alone.
He just wants to be close to her.
Ain't that the way it always is?

After a damn good meal of fried, then roasted ass, we had a lovely downpour.
WHOOT! I had just finished cutting the grass.

Thanks, Ticky, for your suggestion.
Hope this satisfies.