Just When You Thought It Was Safe - More Giada Boobage.

I know it's been a long time since I did a Giada post so for those of you who have missed "les girls," here they are.

This is the "squeeze 'em in" position she favors. During this particular episode, she actually said, "I'm going to use my hands ... my best tools ... to toss this together." Hmmm. Care to rethink that, Giada?

Giada was peeling shallots here. The cameraman zoomed in to get a better shot of her shallots.

I don't understand the little cutouts on her shoulders.

Does Giada seem to have more than the normal number of teeth?

This reminds me so much of myself. Whenever I'm planning a meal, I wear a little number like this, pose regally, and talk to my mirror.

Really, this is my casual attire when I'm just just hangin' and chillin'. And I have this exact dress. Ticky, I'll wear it for you next time you come down.

Oooh, Giada. Are they getting heavy?

Sometimes it's hard to concentrate on the food.

Perhaps the hand is there to keep them from falling out.

Giada's got her bitch face on here.

Giada takes a moment to admire her breasts. Yes, Giada. We all have to agree with you. They are faaaaabulous.

She seems quite pleased with them.

Oops! Rache, better leave it to the pros and you're just not in Giada's league. Plus, you've got that disturbing East/West thing going on.

The "Giada Reach." No one can do it quite like our Giada.

Thankfully, Pauler remained covered.

Here she is partnered with Booby Flay.

"Giada, can you hand me that boo ... uh ... I mean spoon."

I guess the cameraman wanted a close up of Giada pouring something into her pitcher. Or maybe he wanted to showcase that little necklace.

Sorry. I just had to put that in. Leaves a bad taste in your mouth, doesn't it. Mr. Hawthorne recently sent me this email:

It's not difficult to make a woman happy.

A man only needs to be:

1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. truthful 42. dependable 43. passionate 44. compassionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 45. give her compliments regularly 46. love shopping 47. be honest 48. be very rich 49. not stress her out 50. not look at other girls

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY: 1. Show up naked 2. Cook some food

I responded with,

"Great, now I've got blistered tits from the splattering oil."