Thursday, October 20, 2011

I Do Not Make This Up. From Mr. Eric Peter. Hee!

I just received this urgent message from Mr. Eric Peter. Snark snark guffaw. My name is Mr Eric Peter, I work with one of the Banks here in abidjan cote d' lvoire. I am the personal accounts manager to one Engr. Norman.R.Frank , a National of U.S.A from new york, who owned a construction company here in Ivory Coast (Cote D'Ivoire)norman construction company my client, his wife, and their three children were involved in the ill fated Kenya Airways crash in the coasts of Abidjan in January 2001 in which all passengers on board died.Since the death of my customer, I have made several inquiries to his embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives but has been unsuccessful. After several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to contact you this huge deposit with our bank here in, where the deceased has an account valued at about US$5 million United States dollars. Being the personal a/c manager of the deceased's bank account, the bank has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin/beneficiary or else the bank will declear the account unserviceable and thereby forfeit the funds to the bank treasury. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over the past 2 years now,I hereby seek your consent (with due respect and honour) to present you as the next of kin to the deceased so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you and then you and I will share the money 50 / 50.All .I require is your honest co-operation to enable us seeing this deal throw However, I urgently need you the following information from you which I have to place in the computer file of the deceased as next of kin/beneficiary: (A) your full name, (B) your date of birth (C) resident address together with your telephone and fax for easy communication I guarantee that this will be executed under all legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Need you be interest, kindly reach me via my private email as indicated above for further details. Thanks in advance as I anticipate your maximum co-operation in this regards. waiting your mail Mr Eric Peter Eric Peter. Indeed! Well, helloooo, Eric Peter. If that's your real name. No, I don't make this stuff up and yes, I am 12. You gotta give me a break here. I've gotten so many emails from the Cote d'Ivoire lately. It appears I've lost all my family in tragic accidents. Not just family. But family I never knew I had. The best kind of family. Please wait for me during my mourning period. Allow me to adjust and then, Mr. Peter (Mr. Peter! Heeeeee!!), May I call you Mr. Peter? Please?! I will send you my social security number, those of my children, my bank account numbers, passwords, and all information to allow you to access my credit card accounts. I look forward to our relationship. Most sincerely, Rosie

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

And don't forget to provide Mr. Peter with your city of birth, mother's maiden name, and first pet's name.

Rosie Hawthorne said...

Heh, Anony. I watched David Letterman interview Bill Gates one night, and within minutes, he'd gotten all this info out of Gates.
Funny stuff.

Anonymous said...

His dad chose his name, not me. But he said to me once, "Gee Mom, thanks for naming me after a penis." But as his granny once said, after he was born (referencing his & his dad's name), "Now we have a big Dick & a little Peter!" I kid you not - from a good Southern Baptist lady. Now the first part of that? I wholeheartedly concur ;-)

Rosie Hawthorne said...

I once worked with a woman named Head.
Her bro wanted a son,
to name him Richard.
This is not a limerick.
The brother/father wanted to hear this over the High School PA System:
"Dick Head. Dick Head. Come to the office please."

True story.