Flash Back!

Remember this post about Neighbor Frank ? It happened back in August. All I wanted was for the owner of the truck to move his vehicle off of my newly sodded lawn. It's ROSIE'S LAWN for crying out loud, but it ain't gonna happen. It was Frank, my neighbor's, truck. Frank, you're not going to bullnose your way into this neighborhood. You're not going to be a bully around me. You're not going to be an arrogant asshole without being called on it. And Rosie would be the chief of police of assholes. So, tonight, after the Christmas Parade of Boats, Frank is having a party. Dixie started barking and Mr. Hawthorne went to the back window to see what was going on. "Rosie," he called, "Someone is parking on your lawn!" OH CRAP. I immediately flew outside and called out to the two guys going into Frank's house. "Hello," I politely said, "Would you mind moving your vehicle off my sod and irrigation system and it would be just fine if you parked on my lot right over there behind my Jeep?" "Oh, so sorry. We apologize." "No problem." "Well, hey. You guys friends of Frank?" "Not exactly. We're neighbors." "Well, HELL! Come on over to the party!" "Hmmm, I don't think so." "Well thanks for letting us park on your property." "No problem." "HEY, you want a PBR?" (I'm thinking peanut butter something or other.) "PBR?, I ask" "Pabst Blue Ribbon!" As he stumbles and drops cans in the cul-de-sac. These guys are totally drunk. "Uhhh, no thanks." "Well, just come on over to the party." "MMMmmmm, thanks but no thanks. I'll pass." Just so I don't have to put up with any more shit tonight, I took out my garbage can and parked it in the middle of my sod at the front right of my driveway, where everyone feels they are free to park. And garbage pick-up day isn't until Monday. I thanked the drunk gentlemen who I offed off my lawn and offered them my next door lot to park on. Do go over to DEAR FRANK and tell him about his lovely neighbor. And maybe Frank will CHOKE.