Tuesday, January 26, 2010

What's Going On At Rosie's.

Did I ever tell you about the time
in 2005? Actually February 11, 2005. Youngest Hawthorne and a friend were out in the yard, playing. I was inside, "working" on my computer. Suddenly, I heard the boys screaming. I ran outside. Seems there was a brush fire on my lot. A rapidly spreading brush fire. I called 911 immediately. The wind was whipping the fire out of control. And it was heading towards the boat with filled gas tanks not to mention my neighbor's house. Nothing I could do with 5 gallon buckets of water although I tried. The Colington Fire Department arrived within minutes and took care of everything and the police confiscated certain items from my son. How did the fire start, you ask? Ahhh. Good story there.
See that deer out there in the yard? My son was into archery at the time and would practice with Bambi. On this particular day, Youngest Hawthorne and his friend discovered a small hole where the deer mold was poured. Combine that with some Black Cat Fireworks. Bottom line, Youngest Hawthorne and his partner in crime were shooting Black Cats out of the deer's butt hole.
And it got a little out of hand.
When Youngest Hawthorne and I went over to the neighbors' to apologize, the woman actually told me, "You know? I'd been watching them for about 15-20 minutes and I knew something was going to happen." Well, excuuuuuuuuuuse me, but why the hell didn't you open your kitchen window and tell them to stop what they were doing or why didn't you pick up the phone and call me?
I look at it positively. Got rid of lots of weeds. This was not my first encounter with the Colington Fire Department. Years ago, I was cleaning out the ashes from my fireplace. I placed them in my ash bucket, poured water over top, and set it outside on the deck for 2-3 days, until I took the bucket down to my compost pile, stirred the ashes in, and sprayed water over top. That was early morning - about 9 AM. Fast forward to 3 AM that night. Neighbors across the canal had called the fire department since I had set the bulkhead on fire. Apparently, embers can be damn persistent.
Then, back in March of '94, I had gone down to the car port to bring up some more logs to keep the fire going and the log pile shifted and a huge-ass log fell on my left foot, crushing my toes. The pain was excruciating and I had to sit down with my head between my legs and breathe. I thought I was going to pass out and that was not an option. Mr. Hawthorne and Xmaskatie were upstairs and probably wouldn't have missed me until the next morning when they might have found my frozen body which they would have to scrape off the concrete. Anyways, I fought my brain haze and limped back upstairs, with the damn logs, leaving a bloody trail behind. (I do logs like Rachael does her "carry.") The next day I headed to the emergency room. After oohing and ahhing over my foot which I believe one of the doctors described as "looking like somebody dropped a ripe plum 3 storeys," they took X-rays. That's when the fun began. I heard the X-ray technician calling everybody else to come and look at this. Then the doctor came in with my X-rays and asked me, "How long have you had that needle in your toe?" Say whaaaaa? Yes. I have a broken sewing needle in my foot. And it will set off a metal detector. Both my boys were hits at school when they got to the letter "x" and they brought in my X-rays.
Now, where, you ask, am I going with this post? Don't worry, I'm getting there. I love my fireplace. But I don't remember the last time I had a fire in it. Face it. It's a pain in the ass. When the wood is delivered, I'm the one who stacks it. I'm the one who builds the fire. I watch it. I keep it going. I dispose of the ashes. (And you saw how well that worked.) I clean the fireplace. And then I start the whole damn cycle over again.
Mr. Hawthorne says he does "everything "about the fireplace. He does "everything. I call the guy to deliver the wood. I give you the bill. You write the check." And yes. I do the rest. He does everything. I do the rest. I need a wife. So, after 23 years of dealing with a fireplace, I finally broke down and got a gas fireplace. Saturday, when I was preparing for the party, Kevin came to install it. I was worried it would be like having a fish tank screensaver instead of a real fish tank, which now that I think about it, would be preferable, since I've had fish tanks before. But I must say, I love it. I can have a fire any time I want. At the touch of a button. This January has been one of the coldest months up until now. Of course, now that I have my fireplace, the temperatures have soared to the 60's. While the fireplace installation was going on, this barge went by. They've been working on a bulkhead across the canal.
Isn't my poinsettia pretty? I got it at WalMart before Christmas for 8 bucks.
I rearranged the benches for the party. I like the openness. And it's much roomier.


Kathy said...

I love you, my little poopsie.

Marion said...

Hey Rosie, wrt fish tanks, remember when you came back after a really late night to find the kitten had knocked the return tube on the fish tank filter so that oh, 20 gallons or so went all over the floor? Wish I'd been there.......

Rosie Hawthorne said...

Marion, I remember it well. Good times.