Sunday, April 15, 2012

Three Crappy Lunches In Three Days. And The Hotel! Egads! The Hotel!

 As you know, the Hawthornes are on a road trip.

Mr Hawthorne waited until now,
well, actually 2 weeks ago,
to decide he needed to lose weight,
so he's on a diet.
And he's not back-sliding at all.

He's on a high protein/low carb kick again.

Do you have any idea how hard it is
to eat out at a restaurant and maintain this successfully?
Gotta give the man props,
because he's doing it.

When the Hawthornes travel,
we'll have the continental breakfast at the motel,
then we'll eat one meal out - late lunch/early dinner.
So for breakfast,
Mr. Hawthorne will have the boiled eggs
that are usually served.
Maybe the scrambled eggs.
And if there's more protein,
he'll have that too.
No problem for breakfast.
If he want's a snack at night,
he'll eat no-fat cottage cheese with dehydrated onion flakes.

Lunch can be a problem.

The first day on the road,
we were in Charlottesville for lunch.
You can imagine how many places
there are in Charlottesville to get a decent meal.
Unfortunately, he didn't pick one.

He wanted Chinese,
since he can eat the soup, not the wontons,
and he can pick the meats he wants
 and a few vegetables he allows himself.
Broccoli good.
Corn bad.
Green beans good.
Potatoes bad.

I hate the China Macs flourishing everywhere these days.
I also hate buffets.
But Rosie is nothing but a sport,
so she's going along.

We find a Chinese restaurant in Charlottesville,
but it's only take out and he doesn't want to eat in the truck.
I am famished and at this point I'd eat off the sidewalk.
The traffic is horrible and we're tired, hungry, and grumpy
and don't know where else to go.
I say, "Look, there's an Italian restaurant right here.
You could have a salad."
In his weakened state, he agrees.

 I ordered the Italian salad, with Italian and Blue Cheese on the side.
And I got this uninspired creation.
I guess one olive, a slice of provolone, and a slice of salami
an Italian salad maketh.

 Mr. Hawthorne got a salad with tuna salad.
Canned tuna salad.

I ordered the stuffed artichokes.
This is NOT what I got.
This is what I was hoping I would get.

 This stuffed artichoke is one of Rosie's
and it was damn good.
See recipe here.

 This is what I got.
I wasn't counting on fried.

 Some melted cheese inside.
Heavy breading outside.
I pulled the breading off
and gave half the artichokes to Mr. Hawthorne.

Disappointment #1.

The second day on the road,
Mr. Hawthorne found a Chinese buffet.
Except not.
I can't remember the town.
It was on the way to Charleston.
Mr. Hawthorne had the soup,
the fish, the shrimp, some meats,
and a few veggies he could eat.

As I said I hate a buffet
and we came into this one at 2:25.
They stop serving lunch at 2:30
and start dinner service at 3:00.
Obviously not a good time.
I got all leftover Chinese.

Disappointment #2.
I didn't even bother to shoot pictures.

Our third day on the road,
we're in Kentucky, on the way to Louisville,
and Mr. Hawthorne wants BBQ.
I'm just along for the ride here
and I don't want BBQ.
Mr. Hawthorne, have you ever known me to
order BBQ at a restaurant?
No, I didn't think so.
So we end up at some BBQ restaurant.

I got the least objectionable item on the menu -
a salad which they put BBQ on top of.
Who puts BBQ on a salad?
Rosie no likie.
I had a few bites and pushed it aside.

Mr. Hawthorne ordered the pulled pork
and the sliced beef brisket with mediocre cole slaw.
Color me meh.

 My spirits were at first lifted by the sauces they offered.
Georgia Pucker  - "Real South Mustard Base"
And somebody scratched part of the P off so it looked like an F.
Sweet and Spicy - "Sweet with a little heat"
Bama Red - "Southern tangy"
HazMat - "Sweet with a little more heat"
Xtreme - "Hot as it gets"

 Here're their heat ratings of the sauces.

All were tomato based.
No vinegar based.

 Chalk that up to Disappointment #3.

I hope you're losing weight, Mr. Hawthorne,
because I know I am.

Disgruntled, pissed, and still hungry,
I check into our motel in Louisville.

Ooh and I got a freebie tonight from the points
with Choice Privileges I've racked up over the years.
The last two nights' points take at least 48 hours
to credit to my account,
but I can assure you the 12,000 points
I used up for our suite were deducted before I hung up the phone.

I think there was a Bollywood convention going on.
The place was filthy.
It stank.
I'm not a smoker,
but the smell of smoke would not have hurt this room in the least.
I checked for bed bugs, but didn't see any.
That's not to say there weren't any.

Disappointment #4.

Tomorrow, we continue to Bloomington, Indiana,
to see my friend Mar of FoodiesUntie blogdom.

Mar, could you please have a cracker or something waiting for me?


Anonymous said...

Mr. H can order high protein low carb at most restaurants, it's a fairly common diet, even fast food. Please don't go to any more Chinese places, I was looking forward to this culinary adventure.

Lea said...

Ewww. Hope things improve SOON.

Rosie Hawthorne said...

Anony, I know. I know. I'm trying to edumacate the man.