Yes.
You read correctly.
I'm skipping ahead.
I'm foregoing the Day 3 and Day 4 trips
to Biltmore Estate
since those will be looooooong posts
and I need to get my facts straight
and check my notes
and do some more research
before I even think about posting.
I'm going straight to Day 5:
Thursday morning breakfast.
And what a breakfast it was.
This breakfast was FREAKIN' AWESOME!
Sometimes my posts just write themselves
and this was one of those times.
Upon the recommendation of Miss Phyllis,
a loyal reader of my blog,
the Hawthornes jauntily headed off
to The Early Girl Eatery,
in downtown Asheville, on Wall Street,
for breakfast.
We parked on a side street
and walked to the Eatery.
But first,
we ran into a Giant Iron.
A Giant Iron
in the Middle of the Sidewalk.
And here's the Flatiron building,
designed by Albert C. Wirth
and constructed in 1925-1926.
It's a rather elegant Beaux Arts styled 8-story
office building
with classical detailing,
faced with limestone,
and created to fit the irregular lot.
The Beaux Arts style combined
classical Greek and Roman architecture
with Renaissance ideas
and was a favored style for
grand public buildings and opulent mansions.
This is fashioned after the
Flatiron building in NYC,
And here's our destination -
The Early Girl Eatery.
Check out the menu:
You gotta love it when the menu
tells you to choose one "protein"
and two veggies.
It's MEAT!
Who calls it protein?
I immediately liked this place.
It's open.
It's airy.
There are hanging plants.
There are locals and tourists.
Now, for the drama.
What unfolded was freakin' unbelievable.
I told you,
it was dinner (breakfast) and a show.
It was sublime theater.
OK.
We're sitting right next
to two gentlemen about 2 feet away
at the next table.
See that couple in the background above?
On the left.
The woman stumbled over to the table next to us
and told the guy in the striped shirt
on the left,
next to Mr. H.,
that she'd just had a seizure in the bathroom
and it was his fault.
Striped Shirt looked only at his plate.
She ambled away
and crumbled into the arms of her partner
who caught her
and put her in a chair.
A few minutes later,
she composed herself,
kinda,
and walked back to the table next to us
and confronted Striped Shirt again.
And this is where it went BIZARRO.
And that would be an understatement.
The woman pulled up her long sleeves
and exposed all manner of intravenous crap
going into her body,
all of it automatically induced into her system.
Maybe 4 or 5 different insertions
pumping medications into her.
She accused Striped Shirt
of ruining her life.
She informed him she was suffering
from an infection in her brain
brought on by the stress
Striped Shirt had inflicted upon her.
Apparently,
she was in the process of losing
her house and her children,
all because of Striped Shirt.
She tossed out lots of the F-word and SOB and Bastard
and everybody in the restaurant
was staring at this confrontation..
She was extremely unstable.
(Imagine that.)
After venting on Stuffed Shirt,
all the whilst he was a ball-less wonder
and never once looked at her,
staring at his plate the entire time
(this happening 2 feet from me),
she finally walked away
and again collapsed
and her companion caught her
and set her down in a chair.
I had my camera with me
and was so awed by this performance
that I didn't think to video any of this.
And I'm thinking that if I'd had
the good sense to video it,
I wouldn't post it on my blog
since it was such a raw, painful,
salt-in-the-wound experience for the poor woman.
Striped Shirt
said nothing to the distraught woman.
He just stared in his plate.
After this last confrontation,
Striped Shirt said to his companion,
"Shall we adjourn now?"
Mr. H. and I figured
that Striped Shirt was probably
Crazy Lady's Ex's divorce lawyer.
By the way,
Mr. Hawthorne noticed Striped Shirt
had dirty fingernails.
What the hell is Celtic Sea Salt?
Apparently,
it's unprocessed, Kosher, whole salt
harvested from the most pristine coastal regions
of Brittany, France,
using a farming method
that preserves the purity and balance
of ocean minerals.
I had a glorious fried grit cake
with spinach and poached egg
and tomatoes with "tomato gravy"
and avocado slices
with wheat toast.
I noticed lots of tats,
lots of piercings in painful places,
and lots of weirdness.
All in a truly wonderful sort of way.
Holy cow!
ReplyDeleteNo shit, Kathy!
ReplyDeleteWow. People are strange.
ReplyDeleteGlad that you enjoyed your breakfast.
Welcome to Asheville.
ReplyDeleteI TOLD you the Early Girl was da bomb! And they don't charge extra for the floor show! Glad you enjoyed it....wish I woulda been there with you!
ReplyDeleteDid I just see you imply that tattoos can be wonderful???
ReplyDeleteDaHaw, I in no way implied that tattoos are wonderful.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. I see I had a visitor from Greenville about the time this comment was published.
Wonder who that could be?